Category: Math & Science

Everyone needs basic math and science skills to survive. However, these customers were definitely sleeping their way through class!

Adventures In The Third Dimension, Part 2

| Massachusetts, USA | Math & Science

Customer: “Hi, I called earlier about getting a storage unit.”

Me: “Okay. What size were you looking for?”

Customer: “I don’t know. You told me on the phone.”

Me: “Hmm, well, there are 4-5 people in this office who answer the phone at any time. I don’t think I spoke to you.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, it was…hmm. I don’t remember.”

(I walk her outside the office into the parking lot show her a painted grid on the ground that illustrates the different sizes. I take a long time explaining the different sizes, and how much each costs. She has a price/size list in her hand the whole time. She looks very confused but finally seems to understand and decides she wants a 10’x10’ storage unit. We go back in the office so we can do the paperwork.)

Customer: “Okay, so, 10’x10’ is the width?”

Me: “Well, 10’x10’ means the space is ten feet wide and ten feet long.”

Customer: *blank stare*

Me: “The grid you just looked at painted on the ground shows only the footprint of the storage unit.”

Customer: *blank stare*

Me: “The illustration grid painted on the ground does not show the third dimension, which is height. The ceiling is about 8 feet high.”

Customer: *blank stare* “So…I can stack things UP?” *she looks excited*

Me: “Yes. You are not renting a two-dimensional space.”

Customer: *blank stare*

Me: “You are not renting a parking space. You are going to be renting a three-dimensional storage space.”

(I gesture with my hands to make the shape of a three dimensional box.)

Customer: “This is so confusing!”

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Adventures In The Third Dimension

When Life Demands Too Much, Go Scientology

| Naperville, IL, USA | Math & Science

(I work in a store where we blend toppings in with the ice cream. The prices for addition “mix-ins” are posted in giant numbers.)

Customer: “Hi, I’ll have a small cake batter with Oreos, Heath Bar, M&Ms, fudge, and peanut butter sauce!”

Me: “Okay, coming up!”

(At the register.)

Me: “Okay, that’ll be $x.xx”

Customer: “What?! It says on your board that it is $3!”

Me: “Yes, but you got additional toppings, which increase the price.”

Customer: “Numbers aren’t real! Only scientologists believe in numbers! Why should I have to pay if I don’t believe in numbers?”

Caldera Cravings

| CA, USA | Math & Science, Tourists/Travel, Uncategorized

Tourist: “Have I seen everything there is to see here?”

Me: “I don’t know, ma’am. What have you seen?”

Tourist: “Everything on the way in. Have I seen it all?”

(I point out several of the other options.)

Tourist: “Can I drive through any of the caves?”

Me: “Nope, sorry. They all have to be walked through.”

Tourist: “That’s ridiculous! Is there at least an elevator?”

Me: “Nope, just stairs.”

Tourist: “Well, where’s the river of lava? I was here a few years ago, and I got to stand by the lava.”

Me: “Ma’am, molten lava hasn’t been here for over 1,000 years.”

Tourist: “Yes it has! I’ve seen it! You just haven’t been here long enough!”

Talking Turkey Results In Mass Deviations

| Seattle, WA, USA | Food & Drink, Math & Science, Uncategorized

Customer: “I want a turkey, but I’m not sure how large.”

Me: “Well, how many people are you having over?”

Customer: “I don’t know. Maybe seven.”

Me: “How about a ten to twelve pound turkey?”

Customer: “Oh, that’s too small.”

Me: “Well, then how about a twelve to fourteen pound turkey?”

Customer: “Oh, that’s too big.”

(We go back and forth like this for ten minutes or so until the customer decides on a fourteen pound turkey. The customer behind her asks for and gets an 18 pound turkey which has a $10 off sticker on it.)

Customer: “How come that turkey’s $10 off? I want $10 off for my turkey.”

Me: “Ma’am, that’s for turkeys that are at least sixteen pounds. Turkeys less than sixteen pounds are $5 off.”

Customer: “I don’t want a turkey that’s that big. Don’t you have a sixteen pound turkey that’s only fourteen pounds?”

Discounted Intelligence

| North Bay, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Math & Science, Uncategorized

Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

Customer: “I’m fine, and you?”

Me: “Also fine, thanks for asking! Just to let you know everything in the store today is 40% off.”

Customer: “What does that mean?”

Me: “I….I don’t know how else to explain that to you.”