Category: Math & Science

Everyone needs basic math and science skills to survive. However, these customers were definitely sleeping their way through class!

New Degrees Of Stupidity

| WA, USA | Canada, Math & Science

(I work in a clothing store at an outlet mall where we get a lot of Canadian customers. It was particularly cold on the day this occurred. Two teenage girls walk into my store.)

Me: “Hey, how are you girls doing this morning? Are you staying warm?”

Girl #1: “We’re trying!”

Me: “When I came into the store from my car this morning, it was 18 degrees! That’s FREEZING!”

Girl #1: “Yeah it is… Wait, how did you know we were from Canada?”

Me: “…I didn’t…”

Girl #1: “But how did you know we needed Celsius instead of Fahrenheit?”

Me: “Uh… that was Fahrenheit.”

Girl #2: *laughs at her friend* “Wow! Now this girl probably thinks we’re stupid! Good job!”

A Thick Slice Of Humble Pie, Part 2

| MO, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Math & Science, Money

(I’m working at the cash register of a pizza place. A customer storms in and demands his pizza.)

Me: “Sorry, sir, it seems I don’t have anything in here by that name or phone number. Are you sure you called the right store?”

Customer: “YES! The person who took my order refused to honor this coupon, and so I hung up on them!”

Me: “Well, sir, that’s probably why it isn’t in here. Should I place a new order?”

Customer: “Fine! But I want it delivered to my house!”

(The customer proceeds to place the order, as more customers are lining up and watching the spectacle. I read him the final total.)

Customer: “That’s not the total! What is wrong with you people?! Can’t anyone do math? It says here I get two pizzas for $11.95.”

Me: “Actually sir, it’s two pizzas for $11.95 each. Do you still want to place the order?”

(Everyone is watching at this point. The customer throws the coupon at me.)

Customer: “WHAT DOES THIS SAY?”

Me: “Two pizzas for $11.95 each, no limit, expires [date].”

(The customer’s tail is between his legs, and he’s red with embarrassment. With an entire crowd watching, he reluctantly mumbles and pays the bill.)

Related:
A Thick Slice Of Humble Pie

Bad At Math But Good At Infractions

| Ventura, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Math & Science

(My mom and I are in line at the register. In front of us is a customer with clearly a lot of things.)

Cashier: “Okay, your total comes to $15.31.”

Customer #1: “No, that’s not right. The dog food and water comes to $8.00!”

Cashier: “I’m sorry; let me try again. It still comes back to $15.31.”

Customer #1: “Look, you stupid b****! This should all come to $8.00! Old hags like you shouldn’t be f****** working today. You’re too stupid!”

(The cashier is in tears. My mom overhears this, and walks up to the customer.)

My Mom: “Now you listen, little brat. This woman has been polite, calm and patient with you. Just shut the f*** up and buy your things! Maybe if you had the intelligence to check the prices instead of relying on others, you wouldn’t be in this situation, would you? I’ve had an awful day, and I don’t want to spend the next ten minutes listening to your God-d*** mouth!”

(The customer remains silent the whole time. He buys his things and leaves. We walk up to the register.)

My Mom: “So, how was your day?”

Cashier: “Great! Thank you! I’ve been really stressed out. I really needed that.”

Me: “If you lived with us, you would hear a lot more than that!”

(We share a laugh, and the cashier gives us a discount on our things on behalf of my mom shutting the customer up!)