Category: Math & Science

Everyone needs basic math and science skills to survive. However, these customers were definitely sleeping their way through class!

Math Skills Are In The Lower 25 Per Cent

, | Seattle, WA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science, Money, Top

(While working at an ice cream store, there is a sale for buy one ice cream, get one for 25 cents. We are jam packed, and I am manning one of the registers.)

Me: “Thank you for coming to [store], what can I get for you?”

Customer: “I’d like five large ice creams, please.”

Me: “Sounds great; your total comes to $14.”

Customer: “I thought there was a sale for 25 cents?”

Me: “Yes, it’s buy one, get one for 25 cents.”

Customer: “So then why am I paying so much?”

Me: “A regular large is $4.50, so three of those adds up to $13.50, plus two for 25 cents.”

Customer: “The fifth one is supposed to be 25 cents.”

Me: “You have to buy one first for it to be 25 cents. Would you like to buy one more blizzard?”

Customer: “No, I don’t want six ice creams; the last one needs to be 25 cents!”

Me: “Ma’am, I can’t give you the fifth one for 25 cents; you need to buy another ice cream first.”

Customer: “GIVE ME THE ICE CREAM FOR 25 CENTS!”

Me: “Ma’am, I can’t. Its buy one, get one for 25 cents.”

Customer: “I refuse to speak with you; get me your manager now!”

Me: “Ma’am, we’re very busy and—”

Customer: “GET ME YOUR MANAGER!”

Me: “Ma’am, please we are very busy—”

Customer: “I refuse to speak with such an idiot.”

Me: “Let me get her for you…”

(I pull my manager away from making 15 ice creams. She is very much annoyed that I have to get her.)

Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “This imbecile of an employee will not give me my 25 cent ice cream.”

(The manager looks at my screen, and sees five ice creams.)

Manager: “You ordered five ice creams, correct?”

Customer: “Yes, and I want my 25 cent ice cream!”

Manager: “It’s a buy one, get one for 25 cents. You have five ice creams. Simple math tells us that the fifth is at regular price. So either pay for your f***** ice cream, or the get the h*** out of my store.”

Customer: “Well EXCUSE ME! I’ll take my ice creams, but I’m never coming back!”

Manager: “Good, you weren’t going to be allowed back anyway!”

Predicting A Storm Of Protest

| Boulder, CO, USA | Geography, Math & Science, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

(I work at an answering service that handles after-hours calls for various businesses. One of the accounts was a nice restaurant in the mountains of Colorado. A man calls one April to make a reservation.)

Caller: “I was hoping for a table on May 16th?”

Me: “It looks like there are various times open, so I can certainly set that up for you.”

Caller: “Okay, great. I’m going to be vacationing up there with my wife.”

Me: “Well, that sounds lovely!”

(We set up his dinner reservation.)

Caller: “So, can you give me any advice about what I should pack for a long weekend there? What is the weather like?”

Me: “Well sir, Colorado weather is very unpredictable, particularly in the spring. I would advise bringing clothing options for all seasons and dressing in layers.”

Caller: “I just want to know if I should pack warm clothes or short sleeves!”

Me: “Yes, sir, I understand that. However, springtime in Colorado has weather ranging from snowstorms to hot and sunny.”

Caller: “Oh, what nonsense. You clearly don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Me: “Sir, I have lived in this state all my life. A common saying here is that if you don’t like the weather you should wait five minutes, and that holds true all year. Spring and autumn are the most unpredictable and varied when it comes to temperature, so—”

Caller: “What was the temperature today?”

Me: “Today? Well, this morning it was thirty degrees with heavy frost on the ground, and by noon it was about seventy-five with clear skies and sunshine—”

Caller: “Are you trying to be difficult? There’s no reason to be a smart-a**, you know.”

Me: “No, sir, not at all. I’m very genuinely trying to help you. Even for people who are used to it, weather changes here can be quite—”

Caller: “You’re no help at all! I’ll just bring a few pairs of shorts and t-shirts.”

Me: “Sir, please don’t do that. You will need warmer clothes in the mountains!”

Caller: “So, now I should bring my winter clothes? Why didn’t you just say so?!”

Me: “Well, you should, but bring some cooler clothes as well because—”

Caller: “No! It has to be one or the other! I don’t want to bring more than I need!”

Me: “You will definitely NEED options for highly variable temperatures. I’m very sorry, but—”

Caller: “You’re useless! It’s just four days. It can’t be that complicated!”

Me: “Look, four days ago it was shorts and tank top weather. Two days ago it snowed for a day and a night. I personally keep a heavy coat and a pair of sandals in my car because there are days when I need them both. Believe me, I wish it were all nice and predictable, but it really IS that complicated. I’m not making this up for fun.”

Caller: “Oh, I’ve never heard such nonsense. Springtime is bound to be nice, so I’ll pack for that. Thanks for nothing!”

Me: “Sir, I really advise—”

Caller: “And cancel the dinner reservation!” *click*

(May 16th turns out to be a properly variable week, with wind, rain, sun, and overnight snow.)

It’s Cent-less To Argue

| Allentown, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Math & Science, Money

(I am a cashier at the front end of a grocery store. A customer hands me four $1 bills.)

Customer: “$3.50 in quarters please!”

Me: “Excuse me, sir?”

Customer: “You heard me; I’d like $3.50 in quarters.”

Me: “Wouldn’t you just like the $4 in quarters?”

Customer: “No? If I wanted that, then I would have asked for $4 in quarters.”

Me: “Then how would you like the remaining $0.50?”

Customer: “What remaining $0.50? Look, I don’t know what is so hard about this.”

(I just gave the customer his $4 worth of quarters, and he walked away.)