Category: Math & Science

Everyone needs basic math and science skills to survive. However, these customers were definitely sleeping their way through class!

Acting Totally Incremental

| TX, USA | Food & Drink, Math & Science

(I am out on delivery late at night. The customer to whom I am delivering has been very drunk on the phone. When I arrive at his house, he stumbles outside to meet me, pulling out his wallet. A girl follows him outside.)

Me: “Mr. [Name]?”

Drunken Customer: “Yep, that’s me.”

Me: “Here you are, sir! Your total this evening will be $46.70!”

Drunken Customer: “Okay. Here you go.”

(The customer hands me $70.)

Me: “Of course, sir; let me get your change.”

(I hand back a twenty dollar bill and three ones, but he won’t take it.)

Drunken Customer: “Nope. No change. That’s your $5 tip right there.”

Me: “Um, yes, sir, I appreciate it very much, but—”

Drunken Customer: “No, no, no. Listen. 46 and whatever is like 47, right?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Drunken Customer: “Well, fifty minus forty-seven is this three, right?” *points to the three $1 bills*

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Drunken Customer: “That leaves the two and the zero.” *points at the $20 bill* “And two plus zero is two, and then plus the other $3, and two plus three is five, and that’s your $5 tip!”

Girl: “Just take it and go. He thinks he’s good at math when he’s drunk.”

Me: “Thank you very much, sir! Have a wonderful evening!”

Drunken Customer: “Don’t spend all your $5 in one place!”

(He is the best tipping customer of the night! When I get back to the store, my manager can’t believe how thoroughly the customer explained his math!)

A Bad Frame Of Mind

| IA, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

(I work in a frame shop for a large craft store chain. I take a phone call.)

Caller: “Yes, do you have black frames?”

Me: “Yes.”

Caller: “How much are they?”

Me: “Well, it depends on the size, style, etc.”

Caller: “Okay, can you tell me what each of them costs?”

Me: “Ma’am, there are at least 75 different black frames; you really are going to have to come in and look for yourself.”

Caller: “Well, I’m not going to come in unless I have some idea how much they cost.”

Me: “Anywhere between $1 and $70.”

(The caller hangs up. Later that same day, the caller comes in. I recognize her voice.)

Caller: “Excuse me; can you tell me where your frames are?”

Me: “This whole section over here.”

Customer: “I see you have this frame in a 16 x 20, but I need it in a 20 x 16.”

(I take the frame from her and turn it on its side.)

Customer: *huffs* “Well, they should put on the package that you can turn it either way!” *storms off*

Coworker: “Dude, seriously?”

Cold Customers To Calculating Staff

| Ashford, Kent, UK | At The Checkout, Math & Science

(Working on the till can sometimes get a bit boring and repetitive, especially when having to ask the same questions over and over again. To keep my brain busy, when a customer pays with cash I sometimes work out the change in my head before the till tells me what it is.)

Me: “Your change today will be [amount].”

(I enter the amount of money given into the till. Sure enough, I am correct with the change.)

Customer: “You knew it beforehand? How did you know?”

Me: “Um, mental arithmetic?”

Customer: “No, no! You work in a shop! You shouldn’t know math! Honestly, what next?!”