Category: Math & Science

Everyone needs basic math and science skills to survive. However, these customers were definitely sleeping their way through class!

The Scent Of Bad Math

| IL, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

(A few years back, I worked as part-time seasonal help at a popular store that sells scented bath products. I’m walking with a customer to help her find a particular product, when another woman storms up, very flustered.)

Customer: “EXCUSE ME!”

Me: “Just one moment, ma’am. I’m helping someone else and—”

Customer: *interrupting* “No, I need assistance RIGHT NOW.”

(The first customer and I were pretty close to the product she was looking for. She looks at me apologetically, and tells me that she sees what she wants. She thanks me and walks away.)

Me: “Okay, well, what can I help you with?

Customer: “You people are CROOKS!”

Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way. What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “These hand soaps cost $15 for 5. That’s insane!”

Me: “Well, our hand soap may cost a little bit more than what you would pay at supermarket, but—”

Customer: *interrupts again* “NO, THAT’S NOT THE PROBLEM. These cost more to buy ‘on sale’—” *she uses air quotes* “—than they do to buy individually!”

Me: “Actually, you’re basically paying for four bottles and getting one for free when you buy five…”

Customer: “DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND MATH?! These cost $3.75 a piece!”

(In case anyone reading doesn’t want to do the math, at $3.75 per bottle, five bottles would cost $18.75 at full price.)

Me: “Ma’am, what’s 15 divided by 5?”

Customer: “Well, it’s three, of course. You’d have to be an idiot not to know that!”

Me: “So, 15 divided by 5 equals 3. This means that if you buy five bottles for $15, each bottle costs $3 even, which is less than the sticker price of $3.75.”

(To be fair, I tried not to, but I did kind of talk to her like she was a child during this explanation.)

Customer: “STOP TRYING TO TREAT ME LIKE AN IDIOT! I know that $3.75 is more than $3.00. HOW DO YOU NOT SEE THE PROBLEM?! If I buy five, it will obviously cost more than $15!”

(I stare at her blankly for a brief moment, quite stunned.)

Me: “I’m… I’m not really sure how to make this more clear, ma’am. You’d be paying $18.75 at full price for the soap. But with our current sale, you’ll only pay $15 for the same quantity. I really don’t know how else to explain it.”

Customer: “Wait… The sale price is $15?”

Me: “Um… Yes?”

Customer: *as she starts to walk away* “Okay, great!”

(I just stood there with my jaw dropped for a few seconds.. I was so dumbfounded that I couldn’t move. This woman apparently thought that the price on the signs hanging around was the normal price, and the sticker on the bottles showed the sale price.)

Tip Of The Iceberg Of Her Stupidity

| Canberra, ACT, Australia | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science

(I’m serving at the bar of a club when a woman orders a soda. I pour the drink and serve it to her.)

Woman: “I want the ice at the bottom of the glass, please.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I did put the ice in first.”

Woman: “No, I want it at the bottom of the glass otherwise it hurts my teeth when I drink. ”

(At this point, as the woman has said this with a straight face and appears quite calm. I think she’s joking.)

Me: *laughing* “I can give you a straw, but changing the laws of physics is a bit beyond me I’m afraid.”

(The woman goes a shade of red and starts yelling.)

Woman: “Who the f*** do you think you are to talk to me like that?! You’re boss will hear about this; it’s just unacceptable!”

(The woman stormed out and I was left shell-shocked at the bar. Funnily enough, she did complain about my rude and disrespectful service, and after two weeks of meetings with management she got banned.)

Can’t See The Gravity Of The Situation

| NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

(Part of my duties as an optician is fitting and adjusting eyeglass frames. One day, a woman comes in to get her frames adjusted. I look everything over and the fit looks fine.)

Me: “What problem are you having with the fit?”

Customer: “Gravity is pulling down on one side more than the other and making the frames crooked.”

Racists Are Popping Up By The Dozen

| PA, USA | Bigotry, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

Customer: *to my coworker* “I would like a half-dozen plain glazed donuts.”

(My coworker packs them up in a box sized just for the half dozen, and then turns to start ringing the customer up.)

Customer: “Uh, EXCUSE me, I asked for a HALF DOZEN donuts.”

Coworker: “This is a half-dozen, ma’am.”

(He opens the box to show her.)

Customer: “Oh, my god. A haaaaaaaalf dooooooozen. Why can’t they hire people who speak English. You there!”

(She is snapping her fingers at me, and I come over.)

Customer: “I ordered a half-dozen donuts and this [racist slur] gave me six!”

Me: “A half-dozen is six.”

Customer: “Oh, my god, are you an idiot!? There’s ten in a half-dozen!”

(She pulls out her phone, muttering comments about how dumb I am and racial comments about my coworker. She flashes a screen with the search “how many are in a half dozen,” and then hits enter. It comes back with six, and she turns a bright shade of red.)

Customer: “Oh, my god. Oh, my god, this is bull-s***.” *she turns to leave the store, and then stops at the door and turns to my coworker* “Go back to where you came from! I hope you are deported!”

Coworker: “I’m from New Jersey.”

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Their Brain Is Already Filled With Rocks

| MD, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

(A woman has called in to ask question about a purse she saw online.)

Customer: “How much does it weigh?”

Me: “It looks like it weighs ten ounces.”

Customer: Is that the weight empty?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Fill it up and weigh it again. I’m not allowed to lift more than five pounds; it has to be less than that full.”

Me: “The weight will depend on what you choose to put in it.”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Well, if I fill it with rocks it will weigh more than if I fill it with feathers.”

Customer: “What? No! It will be full. It will weigh the full weight. That will be the same!”

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