Category: Math & Science

Everyone needs basic math and science skills to survive. However, these customers were definitely sleeping their way through class!

Tip Of The Iceberg Of Her Stupidity

| Canberra, ACT, Australia | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science

(I’m serving at the bar of a club when a woman orders a soda. I pour the drink and serve it to her.)

Woman: “I want the ice at the bottom of the glass, please.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I did put the ice in first.”

Woman: “No, I want it at the bottom of the glass otherwise it hurts my teeth when I drink. ”

(At this point, as the woman has said this with a straight face and appears quite calm. I think she’s joking.)

Me: *laughing* “I can give you a straw, but changing the laws of physics is a bit beyond me I’m afraid.”

(The woman goes a shade of red and starts yelling.)

Woman: “Who the f*** do you think you are to talk to me like that?! You’re boss will hear about this; it’s just unacceptable!”

(The woman stormed out and I was left shell-shocked at the bar. Funnily enough, she did complain about my rude and disrespectful service, and after two weeks of meetings with management she got banned.)

Can’t See The Gravity Of The Situation

| NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

(Part of my duties as an optician is fitting and adjusting eyeglass frames. One day, a woman comes in to get her frames adjusted. I look everything over and the fit looks fine.)

Me: “What problem are you having with the fit?”

Customer: “Gravity is pulling down on one side more than the other and making the frames crooked.”

Racists Are Popping Up By The Dozen

| PA, USA | Bigotry, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

Customer: *to my coworker* “I would like a half-dozen plain glazed donuts.”

(My coworker packs them up in a box sized just for the half dozen, and then turns to start ringing the customer up.)

Customer: “Uh, EXCUSE me, I asked for a HALF DOZEN donuts.”

Coworker: “This is a half-dozen, ma’am.”

(He opens the box to show her.)

Customer: “Oh, my god. A haaaaaaaalf dooooooozen. Why can’t they hire people who speak English. You there!”

(She is snapping her fingers at me, and I come over.)

Customer: “I ordered a half-dozen donuts and this [racist slur] gave me six!”

Me: “A half-dozen is six.”

Customer: “Oh, my god, are you an idiot!? There’s ten in a half-dozen!”

(She pulls out her phone, muttering comments about how dumb I am and racial comments about my coworker. She flashes a screen with the search “how many are in a half dozen,” and then hits enter. It comes back with six, and she turns a bright shade of red.)

Customer: “Oh, my god. Oh, my god, this is bull-s***.” *she turns to leave the store, and then stops at the door and turns to my coworker* “Go back to where you came from! I hope you are deported!”

Coworker: “I’m from New Jersey.”

Their Brain Is Already Filled With Rocks

| MD, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

(A woman has called in to ask question about a purse she saw online.)

Customer: “How much does it weigh?”

Me: “It looks like it weighs ten ounces.”

Customer: Is that the weight empty?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Fill it up and weigh it again. I’m not allowed to lift more than five pounds; it has to be less than that full.”

Me: “The weight will depend on what you choose to put in it.”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Well, if I fill it with rocks it will weigh more than if I fill it with feathers.”

Customer: “What? No! It will be full. It will weigh the full weight. That will be the same!”

Now Recruiting Eight Year Olds

USA | Bizarre, Math & Science

Customer: “Can you tell me what used to be in this building?”

Me: “It was a museum.”

Customer: “Oh, okay.”

Me: “Yeah, that was almost six years ago.”

Customer: *gesturing toward the main seating area* “Was there a big tractor in this area?”

Me: “I don’t know. I wasn’t around then.”

Customer: “Yeah, you were probably a baby!” *walks away*

Me: “…”

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