Category: Math & Science

Everyone needs basic math and science skills to survive. However, these customers were definitely sleeping their way through class!

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Racists Are Popping Up By The Dozen

| PA, USA | Bigotry, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

Customer: *to my coworker* “I would like a half-dozen plain glazed donuts.”

(My coworker packs them up in a box sized just for the half dozen, and then turns to start ringing the customer up.)

Customer: “Uh, EXCUSE me, I asked for a HALF DOZEN donuts.”

Coworker: “This is a half-dozen, ma’am.”

(He opens the box to show her.)

Customer: “Oh, my god. A haaaaaaaalf dooooooozen. Why can’t they hire people who speak English. You there!”

(She is snapping her fingers at me, and I come over.)

Customer: “I ordered a half-dozen donuts and this [racist slur] gave me six!”

Me: “A half-dozen is six.”

Customer: “Oh, my god, are you an idiot!? There’s ten in a half-dozen!”

(She pulls out her phone, muttering comments about how dumb I am and racial comments about my coworker. She flashes a screen with the search “how many are in a half dozen,” and then hits enter. It comes back with six, and she turns a bright shade of red.)

Customer: “Oh, my god. Oh, my god, this is bull-s***.” *she turns to leave the store, and then stops at the door and turns to my coworker* “Go back to where you came from! I hope you are deported!”

Coworker: “I’m from New Jersey.”

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Their Brain Is Already Filled With Rocks

| MD, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

(A woman has called in to ask question about a purse she saw online.)

Customer: “How much does it weigh?”

Me: “It looks like it weighs ten ounces.”

Customer: Is that the weight empty?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Fill it up and weigh it again. I’m not allowed to lift more than five pounds; it has to be less than that full.”

Me: “The weight will depend on what you choose to put in it.”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Well, if I fill it with rocks it will weigh more than if I fill it with feathers.”

Customer: “What? No! It will be full. It will weigh the full weight. That will be the same!”

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Now Recruiting Eight Year Olds

USA | Bizarre, Math & Science

Customer: “Can you tell me what used to be in this building?”

Me: “It was a museum.”

Customer: “Oh, okay.”

Me: “Yeah, that was almost six years ago.”

Customer: *gesturing toward the main seating area* “Was there a big tractor in this area?”

Me: “I don’t know. I wasn’t around then.”

Customer: “Yeah, you were probably a baby!” *walks away*

Me: “…”

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Some Use Slightly Less Than Others…

| USA | Math & Science, Pets & Animals

(I work in a dolphin education facility and it’s my job to answer any questions that guests have about our animals or about dolphins in general. Since the movie “Lucy” has come into theaters, I have been getting a lot of the following:)

Guest: “Is it true that dolphins use 20% of their brain? Humans only use 10%!”

Me: “That is a common myth, but actually both species use 100% of our brains. They are comprised of different areas for different functions so it’s hard to compare them anyhow.”

Guest: “But they are so much smarter; they must use 20%!”

Me: “While intelligence can be debated, I assure you that all animals use 100% of their brains.”

Guest: “Well, how can you know?”

Me: “If we only used 10 or even 20% of our brains we’d be completely non-responsive… or dead…”

(Because if you heard it in a movie it MUST be true!)

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Refunder Blunder, Part 24

| England, UK | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Popular

(Customer comes in to return a lipstick that is faulty. She takes a replacement lipstick and some other items.)

Me: “So, your total £8.50.”

Customer: “Well, that’s not right.”

Me: “Yep, the total of your items comes to £8.50.”

Customer: “What about my £6 return for the lipstick?”

Me: “Oh, well, you took another in replacement, so you won’t technically get your money back.”

Customer: “Why not? I wanted a refund. Where’s my £6?”

Me: “Sorry, I’m confused. Did you not want a new lipstick in return for your damaged one?”

Customer: “Yes, but I don’t understand where my £6 has gone?”

Me: “Well, you used it to pay for your replacement lipstick.”

Customer: *getting annoyed* “But I already paid for it? So why don’t I get my £6 back? It was faulty!“

Me: “Yes, madam, if you just take a look at the receipt, you’ll see that I’ve returned your faulty lipstick at £6, and then sold you back a new one, also at £6, so there’s no refund to give, you just have to pay for your additional items, which come to £8.50.”

Customer: “That’s so confusing. I don’t know why you’ve done it like that.”

(The customer reluctantly paid the £8.50, while muttering that it should definitely be £2.50 because of her £6 refund. She left telling me that she was going to be in contact with customer services. I wished her the best of luck.)

Related:
Refunder Blunder, Part 23
Refunder Blunder, Part 22
Refunder Blunder, Part 21

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