Category: Love/Romance

Customers sometimes bring their love lives (or lack thereof) with them–for better or worse. PS: be sure to visit Not Always Romantic for more love/romantic stories!

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Gotta Take It H2-Slowly

| Boston, MA, USA | Bizarre, Love/Romance, Popular

(I work in a flower shop. We sell cut flowers and some potted plants. Two young women approach the counter with one small potted cactus each.)

Customer #1: “We’d like these, please. Are they easy to take care of?”

Me: “Yup, they’re very easy going. Just put them in direct sunlight and water them about once a month.”

Customer #1: “Once a month?!”

Me: “That’s right. A lot of people are surprised when they hear that, but you can actually kill a cactus by overwatering it.”

(Customer #1 starts jumping around and clapping.)

Customer #2: “I told her that if she could keep a plant alive for a year, she could have a boyfriend.”

Me: “…I don’t think the point of having a boyfriend is to keep him alive.”

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Feeding His Imagination

| Plymouth, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Love/Romance

(I have just convinced a customer to order a large piece of cake and a large drink, rather than just the biscuit he originally wanted.)

Customer: “You must have a lot of boyfriends.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Men love girls who know how to feed them. You obviously get that, so you must have loads of boyfriends.”

Me: *laughing* “Just the one, sir.”

Customer: *looking genuinely sad* “What a waste…”

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Reached His Tee Total

| Akron, NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Love/Romance, Popular, Time

(I am working as a ranger on a busy Sunday. All of the tee times are taken for the entire day. Even though the course is full, the pace of play is still at four hours because the course uses ten-minute tee times. As I come up to the eleventh tee, a customer is practice swinging his driver while waiting for the group in front of him move to the green. The customer walks over to me.)

Customer: “I want to play through the group ahead of us.”

Me: *politely* “I am sorry, sir, but that is not an option. The course is full and there is no group that is out of position.”

Customer: “I know the owner of the course and he would let my group play through.”

Me: “I know the owner quite well myself, and your group will not be able to play through.”

(He turns his back to me and starts swearing every swear word known to man. His swearing does not bother me because he’s not directing his comments to me. His three other playing partners never say a word to me and look content drinking a cold beverage while waiting their turn. All of a sudden, he quickly turns around and starts walking towards me in a fast pace with his driver in his hand. He has a crazy look in his eyes as he approaches and I prepare myself for an angry confrontation.)

Customer: *screaming* “I have a date today and if I am late for my date, I am going to have my girlfriend call you to yell at you!”

Me: *without hesitation* “Is your girlfriend hot? If she is, I will give you my number. Have her call me.”

(The three men on the carts busted up laughing. The man with the golf club never said another word for the rest of the day.)