Category: Love/Romance

Customers sometimes bring their love lives (or lack thereof) with them–for better or worse. PS: be sure to visit Not Always Romantic for more love/romantic stories!

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Committed To Understanding

| Baltimore, MD, USA | Language & Words, Love/Romance, Non-Dialogue

Today a library customer called and told me she had an unusual question. She was born in another country, and usually drank tea. She knew Americans like coffee, and she wanted to brew coffee for some guests. After helping her with coffee to water ratios and converting ounces to milliliters, she said, since I have you on the phone…

“I am friends with a younger woman who was not born in the US. She has been spending time with a young man from her classes. He recently said he wanted a commitment. We looked this up in the dictionary, but we do not understand exactly what this means. Is it a marriage proposal?”

I asked some questions, and discovered that the young woman and the man had been dating, and assured the caller that a commitment in dating terms meant that the couple would be exclusive, not engaged.

The caller was very sweet and thankful. I hope she calls again!

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Births, Deaths Of Marriages

UK | Love/Romance

Me: “When is your wife’s date of birth?”

Caller: “I am not sure; let me just ask.”

(A few seconds later.)

Caller: “It’s uh… today. She was born in 1979.”

Me: “You’re in real trouble now, aren’t you?”

Caller: *nervous laugh*

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Time To Start A Relationship With A New Laptop

| PA, USA | Love/Romance, Technology

(I work in a computer store.)

Me: “Okay, so, what seems to be the problem with your laptop?”

Customer: “It won’t turn on and it smells like burnt plastic for some reason. I think the motherboard is fried.”

Me: “Let me take a look at it.”

(He removes it from the box and I am horrified to find that it appears to have been smashed and set on fire.)

Me: “So… a little fried, huh?”

Customer: “Yeah… my girlfriend and I broke up a week ago. So, can you fix it or do I have to buy a new one?”

(On the plus side, I made a sale that day.)

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Beautiful Resolution

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Family & Kids, Love/Romance

(I’m the only female employee at a well known auto parts store. I’m at the register with a coworker of mine.)

Customer: *while my coworker rings him up* “You’re gorgeous! You’re very beautiful.”

Me: “Thanks.”

Customer: “No, seriously! You have beautiful eyes. You look like an old movie star. You’re beautiful.”

Me: *obviously uncomfortable at this stage* “Thank you.”

Customer: “You’re lovely. Oh, don’t be worried! I’m married.”

Me: *motioning to my coworker* “That guy? He’s my dad. Trust me, I’m not worried.”

(The customer walked away obviously embarrassed, but now awkwardly stuttering:)

Customer: “Well… your daughter is lovely!”

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Flirt, Camera, Action

| USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Love/Romance, Popular, Rude & Risque, Technology

(I am filling in at a different branch on this particular day. A guy who looks old enough to be my dad walks up to my window.)

Me: “What can I help you with?”

Customer: “Yeah, I need to get a money order today.”

Me: “Sure thing. Do you have an account with us?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Okay, no problem, I’ll just need your ID and a few other pieces of information to get that done for you.”

Customer: “Ask away. I do this every month!”

(I quickly complete the transaction, as the customer is staring at me, and I am extremely uncomfortable. After I hand him the money order…)

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Customer: “I was also lookin’ for a cute girl…” *grins at me and leans in closer*

(I take a small step backward and try not to let my expression change.)

Me: “Is there anything else BANKING-related that I can help you with today?”

Customer: *visibly disappointed* “Well, no. That didn’t work, huh?”

Me: “Er… no.”

Customer: “Oh, well. At least that wasn’t on tape or anything. That would be really embarrassing.”

(Without saying a word, I point to the security camera above my head.)

Customer: *looks up, expression goes from disappointment to horror* “THOSE THINGS ACTUALLY WORK?!”

Me: “Yes, sir, they sure do.”

Customer: “NOW IT’S ON TAPE?!” *runs out the door*

Coworker: “What was THAT?!”

Me: *puts head down on counter* “I think it’s time for a break…”

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