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Category: Liars & Scammers

Ever come across a customer that has made you want to call the police? These ones pretty much ensure it. It goes way beyond the realms of shoplifting or threatening behavior. Some of these customers are too stupid even for those…

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Sadly You Have To Listen To His Snake Oil

| CA, USA | Liars & Scammers, Pets & Animals

(I work in the back room of a pet shop where we keep the live pets. We have a large display case at the front entrance with several full and well-lit reptile cages, with a sign in the middle that says “more reptiles are located inside.” A man walks up to the cages, examines the reptiles inside them closely, then looks at the sign for a good minute or two. He then walks into the room, past the other reptile and amphibian cages without even noticing them, and approaches me while I am helping another customer with a snake.)

Customer #1: *standing directly in front of a chameleon cage, and cutting me off mid-sentence* “Where are your reptiles?”

Me: “Um…” *gesturing to the wall of tanks* “Well, we have these here, and three rows of cages at the front entrance.”

Customer #1: “BUT WHAT IS IN THEM?!”

Me: “If you look at the bottom left, each habitat is clearly labeled with its resident. See, this one is a tarantula and this here is a milk snake. In the front are various geckos, and here we have turtles and frogs…”

Customer #1: *clearly ignoring me, staring into a cage* “What is this?!”

Me: *gesturing to large tag on the bottom left* “This is an adult male Jackson Chameleon.”

Customer #1: “Well, how big will it get?”

Me: “He’s already an adult. This is his full size.”

Customer #1: “But I want him to get bigger!”

Me: *at this point I am seriously losing patience, and so is my other customer* “They just don’t.”

Customer #1: “I used to have a snake once. I put him in a tank bigger than all those, but because the tank was so big he got too big and I had to give him his own room.”

(He gestures to row of four 55-gallon tanks, implying the tank was over 200 gallons. Considering he seems to have no common sense, seems to know nothing about reptiles, and no beginner snakes would outgrow that tank, I strongly believe he is lying, but I say nothing,)

Customer #1: “He ended up getting so big he ate my cousin’s Labrador! I warned him not to bring the dog over but he didn’t listen. He thought it would be safe but it wasn’t.”

Customer #2: “What kind of snake was it?”

Customer #1: “A ball python!”

(At this point Customer #2 and I were trying really hard to not laugh, because ball pythons are the most common snake in the reptile trade, and barely reach 5 feet long. They could probably eat a rabbit, but DEFINITELY not a large or even medium size dog. The man was a bad liar, because he didn’t even look upset while telling this story. Just excited. And when he finished the tall tale, he just said he would be back for “that lizard,” meaning the chameleon, and walked away. He thankfully never came back.)

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The Mother Of All Thieves

| TX, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers, Popular

(I work part-time at a dance studio and notice that I can’t find my iPad. After some detective work with security footage, I see a woman, Customer, clearly swipe it off the bench in a practice room and walk out with her daughter, who was taking lessons. My boss looks the woman up in the system and calls the number on file.)

Boss: “Hi, Mrs. [Customer], this is [Boss] from [Studio]. I’m calling about a misunderstanding that occurred during your daughter’s lesson on [date]. After reviewing security footage, we’ve determined that you may have accidentally ended up with my employee’s personal property. Give me call back and we can clear this right up!”

(Several days go by. They hear nothing. He calls again, stressing that he’s SURE it was an accident and all he wants is for me to get my property back. Still nothing. Then he tries a different tactic: the woman’s father, who lives in the same town, is the emergency contact. He calls the father and again explains the situation.)

Father: “Oh, did she? I’ll ask her about that. She’ll call you tomorrow.”

(The next day, this is the first thing out of her mouth:)

Customer: “I have to say, I am really disappointed in the way that you’re handling this. I can’t bring it in this week so you’ll have to wait until my daughter’s next lesson.”

Boss: “That’s fine, ma’am. As long as everyone ends up with everything that belongs to them at the end of the day.”

(The next lesson, the woman doesn’t even go into the building. She sends her six-year-old daughter to the front desk with the iPad.)

Daughter: “My mom asked me to give you this. She said she thought it was a book.”

(That lady better hope I never run into her. Way to involve your child in THEFT.)

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They’re Not Pay Pals

| Seattle, WA, USA | Liars & Scammers, Money, Popular

(I’m a freelance web designer currently negotiating a job with someone who wants to give their website a complete overhaul.)

Site Owner: “So, I’m a big fan of [Popular Movie Franchise] and was wondering if you could do a template based on that.”

Me: “Sure thing! I love [Popular Movie Franchise], too! I could show you a few designs I whipped up previously.”

(Things proceed as normal, with me growing increasingly excited at finding a fellow fan who wants me to indulge one of my own geeky passions.)

Me: “Okay, and I just need your PayPal address to send the invoice.”

Site Owner: “Sure thing. I’ll send it right now.”

(He emails me his address, which I recognize as one that belongs to someone I dealt with a year ago. Specifically, this someone asked for a site design that he then never paid me for, and proceeded to vanish without a trace when I tried to follow up on his non-payment.)

Me: “Wait… is this [Name]?”

Site Owner: “Yes, is there a problem?”

Me: “You’re the guy who asked me to design a site for [Web Address] in June of last year?”

Site Owner: “Oh… wow, you remember that, huh? Yeah I had to put an end to that plan due to budget problems.”

Me: “Yes, I know. I’ve been trying to get you to pay your bill on that ever since! Did you not get any of my reminders that you had an outstanding invoice?”

Site Owner: “Uh… maybe? Is this going to be a problem?”

Me: “Heck, yes, it’s going to be a problem! You still owe me $400 for that last job and now you expect me to do more work for you?”

Site Owner: “Well… I mean it was such a long time ago. I thought if you remembered it’d be like ‘Oh, it’s you!’ And then we’d have a laugh about the craziness that went on.”

Me: “That ‘craziness’ is why I was late on several bills due to not having your payment to cover things! This isn’t a sitcom! People don’t just laugh it off when you refuse to uphold your end of a business agreement.”

Site Owner: “Seriously?”

Me: “Much as I really wanted to do this job, I’m going to have to decline now, given you’re too great of a risk.”

Site Owner: “What?! Well, what if I agree to pay up front for the new job?”

Me: “You’d still owe me the $400 for the last job.”

Site Owner: “Well, I don’t have that kind of money right now! I’m trying to run a business here! Can’t you cut a break for a fellow [Popular Movie Franchise] fan?”

Me: “Sorry, I’m trying to run a business here too. You’ll have to find someone else.”

(I blocked the guy on IM and posted warnings to every forum I know telling them not to do business with him if contacted. Blows my mind anyone could be so brazen or stupid as to change their name and contact details but still use the same PayPal address for someone they previously stiffed on a payment!)