Category: Liars & Scammers

Ever come across a customer that has made you want to call the police? These ones pretty much ensure it. It goes way beyond the realms of shoplifting or threatening behavior. Some of these customers are too stupid even for those…


Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 6

| CA, USA | Home Improvement, Liars & Scammers, Popular

(I’m the ‘new guy’ on my shift. I’ve spent about 45-50 minutes sorting out a long, complicated lighting setup for a customer, retrofitting his house to use ‘can’ lights with LED inserts. The total is going to be pretty high, admittedly, well over two grand. Through the entire transaction he’s been polite, and we’ve been trading jokes. At the end when I ask if there is anything else I can do, while standing next to the mountain of merchandise, he turns to me and this occurs.)

Customer: “So! I get a discount on this. Make it happen.”

Me: “I’m… sorry?”

Customer: “You need to give me a discount on this. I’m buying a lot. I get a discount.”

(Some items ARE discounted by quantity but not a lot of the stuff he is getting.)

Me: “I’m actually not authorized to give anyone-”

Customer: *suddenly getting irate* “Dammit, this is a LOT of merchandise! I need a discount! My electrician gets a discount when he comes here all the time, so I’m getting one, too! Give me my discount!”

(Flustered, I tell them I’ll talk to my department head as I’m pretty sure I have NO authorization to issue discounts. He’s up on a ladder and looks down at the gentlemen in front of their mountain of merchandise.)

Department Head: “Oh, YOU!”

Customer: *bolts like frightened bunny rabbits, tipping over two carts full of merchandise and scattering it everywhere*

Me: “What the h*** was that?”

Department Head: “Oh, he tries that on all the new guys. We won’t sell to him because he’s a scammer. You just had your baptism.”

Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 5
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 4
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability ToDiscount, Part 3


The Great Snuggle Smuggle Muddle

| USA | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers

(I work the self-checkouts when this happens.)

Customer: “These four [Brand] dishwasher pod packs are ringing up wrong. They should be 50 percent off!”

Me: “Okay, no problem. I’ll suspend the order for you, and you can take it right up to customer service where they can check the tags in the aisle, and then fix it if they did ring up wrong.”

Customer: “NO, NO, NO! Take them off my bill! I’ll pay and check myself!”

Me: “Okay, no problem. I’ll set them aside.”

(The customer leaves and doesn’t come back. My boss comes over.)

Boss: “Are these returns?”

Me: “Yeah, they weren’t on sale so she didn’t want them.”

Boss: “Hey, wait this one’s open, and it feels heavier than it should. Hold on. There’s only supposed to be twenty pods in here and there’s six or seven extra [Brand] pods, and a few Snuggle pods in here, also.”

Boss & Me: “She tried to smuggle Snuggle! She’s the Snuggle Smuggler!”


Sweet Out Of Luck

| Canada | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Popular

(I work at a chocolate shop. Lately, every morning that I open, an older woman has been coming in and demanding free samples. We do have a sample tray so I’ve been obliging, even though she never actually buys anything. When I mention her to my manager she warns me that this woman has been doing this for a while and is suspected to also have stolen a number of items.)

Shoplifter: “Any samples for me this morning?”

Me: *having already hidden the sample tray, not wanted to indulge her anymore* “Sorry, none today.”

Shoplifter: “Aww, I want chocolate!”

Me: “Actually we do have a sale on right now, buy one get one free!”

Shoplifter: “I’m not paying for chocolate! I have no luck.” *she pouts but eventually leaves*

(Next day:)

Shoplifter: “I need a sample!”

Me: *getting incredible irritated but sticking a smile on my face* “Sorry, no samples today.”

Shoplifter: “Why not?”

Me: *making up an answer* “Well, corporate hasn’t told us what product to sample yet and we can’t just pick product at random to sample.”

Shoplifter: *sulking* “Aww, I want chocolate! You could give me one of those.” *points to chocolates in our display case*

Me: “Sure I could, for 1$!”

Shoplifter: “I don’t want to pay.”

Me: “Well, I can’t just give you free chocolates.”

Shoplifter: “Why not?”

Me: *starting to lose patience* “Because we’d go out of business.”

(The shoplifter continued to sulk and moan and started wandering through the store, turning around often to check if I was watching her. I basically followed her around the entire place until finally she left, muttering about how she had no luck!)


Acting Childish

| FL, USA | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers

(In this story I am the customer buying two tickets to see a popular new movie with my little sister. Note: I am 16 when this takes place.)

Me: “Two kids tickets for [Popular Movie], please!”

Clerk: *gives me confused look* “How old are you?”

Me: “16, but I’m a child at heart.”

Clerk: *laughs* “And will that be for the [next available movie time]?”

Me: “Yes.”

(Needless to say I didn’t get the child ticket.)


Sadly You Have To Listen To His Snake Oil

| CA, USA | Liars & Scammers, Pets & Animals

(I work in the back room of a pet shop where we keep the live pets. We have a large display case at the front entrance with several full and well-lit reptile cages, with a sign in the middle that says “more reptiles are located inside.” A man walks up to the cages, examines the reptiles inside them closely, then looks at the sign for a good minute or two. He then walks into the room, past the other reptile and amphibian cages without even noticing them, and approaches me while I am helping another customer with a snake.)

Customer #1: *standing directly in front of a chameleon cage, and cutting me off mid-sentence* “Where are your reptiles?”

Me: “Um…” *gesturing to the wall of tanks* “Well, we have these here, and three rows of cages at the front entrance.”

Customer #1: “BUT WHAT IS IN THEM?!”

Me: “If you look at the bottom left, each habitat is clearly labeled with its resident. See, this one is a tarantula and this here is a milk snake. In the front are various geckos, and here we have turtles and frogs…”

Customer #1: *clearly ignoring me, staring into a cage* “What is this?!”

Me: *gesturing to large tag on the bottom left* “This is an adult male Jackson Chameleon.”

Customer #1: “Well, how big will it get?”

Me: “He’s already an adult. This is his full size.”

Customer #1: “But I want him to get bigger!”

Me: *at this point I am seriously losing patience, and so is my other customer* “They just don’t.”

Customer #1: “I used to have a snake once. I put him in a tank bigger than all those, but because the tank was so big he got too big and I had to give him his own room.”

(He gestures to row of four 55-gallon tanks, implying the tank was over 200 gallons. Considering he seems to have no common sense, seems to know nothing about reptiles, and no beginner snakes would outgrow that tank, I strongly believe he is lying, but I say nothing,)

Customer #1: “He ended up getting so big he ate my cousin’s Labrador! I warned him not to bring the dog over but he didn’t listen. He thought it would be safe but it wasn’t.”

Customer #2: “What kind of snake was it?”

Customer #1: “A ball python!”

(At this point Customer #2 and I were trying really hard to not laugh, because ball pythons are the most common snake in the reptile trade, and barely reach 5 feet long. They could probably eat a rabbit, but DEFINITELY not a large or even medium size dog. The man was a bad liar, because he didn’t even look upset while telling this story. Just excited. And when he finished the tall tale, he just said he would be back for “that lizard,” meaning the chameleon, and walked away. He thankfully never came back.)

Page 7/82First...56789...Last