Category: Liars & Scammers

Ever come across a customer that has made you want to call the police? These ones pretty much ensure it. It goes way beyond the realms of shoplifting or threatening behavior. Some of these customers are too stupid even for those…

The Family Business Is None Of Yours, Part 2

| FL, USA | Holidays, Liars & Scammers

(I work in a semi-fancy family-owned Italian restaurant. There is Michael Sr., who is elderly, Michael Jr., who took over the business, and Amanda, the daughter. I get a table of four in…)

Me: “Hi, my name is Sarah. Can I get you started with some Christmas Ales?”

Customer: “I’m Michael’s brother, and I always get a family discount here.”

Me: *playing along* “Okay, Michael Jr., right? So Michael Sr. is your father?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “So you must be Dan.”

Customer: “Yep, that’s me. And I always get a family discount.”

Me: “You know, I’m really glad you’re here. What is your sister’s name? I can never remember, and I don’t want to be rude and ask her.”

Customer: *suddenly defensive* “Why do you need to know?”

Me: “Because it’s a family business, and she’s part of the family, and she comes around sometimes, and I should really know her name.”

Customer: “Well, ask someone else.”

Me: *politely* “You can’t tell me your sister’s name?”

Customer: “It’s… Stephanie.”

Me: *smiling* “Wrong. It’s Amanda. And Michael doesn’t have a brother named Dan. Nice try. How ’bout those Christmas Ales?”

(The cheapskates ordered water, and I went in the back and, thankfully, Michael was in that day, so I told him and my manager about it. I even informed them that I got condescending, and I apologized for any backlash it might cause them. They just laughed and told me ‘good job.’ Then I went to deliver their drinks, and they had left.)

The Family Business Is None Of Yours

Trying To Take You For A (Helicopter) Ride

| Cambridge, ON, Canada | Holidays, Liars & Scammers

(It’s just after Christmas in a very popular store that sells mostly infomercial products, with a few random toys and accessories. A woman is waiting in line to make an exchange and I can tell immediately it isn’t going to go well. She is tapping her feet, huffing and puffing, and I’m pretty sure she wants to blow my house down.)

Woman: *slams bag down on the counter* “I want a new helicopter; this one is a piece of shit! We took it out of the box and it only went 5 feet off the ground then fell down and never worked again. I want a new one or my money back, right NOW!”

Me: “I’d be happy to help you with that. Let me take a look here and see what the problem is.”

(I’m the resident helicopter pilot and repair woman, so I know everything about them. Immediately I notice that the chopper is mangled. Chunks missing out of the wings, the stabilizer fell off, the tail rotor is missing, one of legs is bent. This is not normal flight wear and tear.)

Me: “Oh, wow, I see this little guy is quite beat up. You said you only flew it about five feet high and it fell, then never worked again?”

Woman: “Yes, that’s exactly what I said. It’s the truth, so gimme my new one now!”

Me: “I can’t do that, ma’am. For starters, our exchange warranty covers manufacturer defects only. Second, I’ve spent a considerable amount of time with these choppers and I know for a fact that yours did not come out of the box like this, nor did 5 feet of up and down flight cause such damage. Despite their size and weight, they’re rather durable. Watch. *I pick a tester one up, hurl it at the floor and fly it back to me from across the store* Lastly, if you had of been honest with me I would’ve been more likely to consider the exchange, but you lied to my face.”

Woman: “ARE YOU CALLING ME A LIAR, in front of ALL these people?!”

Me: “Yes. Yes, I am. Please take your helicopter and vacate the store. I will not subject myself or my staff to this type of belligerent attitude. Here is our corporate customer service phone number, our store number is [number], and my name is [My Name]. I look forward to dismissing your complaint.”

(After a few more choice words from this woman and the look of complete disbelief that I never gave her what she wanted, she reluctantly turned to leave. On her way out she hollered some expletives in front of many other customers, including children. The next few people in line were kind enough to mention that I handled that very well and they also would not have caved in to her demands.)

Returner Burner, Part 6

| MI, USA | Liars & Scammers

(I work at a women’s clothing store and we offer price adjustments if you bought something at a higher price than it is selling for now.)

Customer: “I’d like to get a price adjustment.”

Me: “Absolutely. Let me just take a look.” *I look at her receipt and it’s from eight days prior* “Oh, I’m afraid we can only do price adjustments up to seven days, and today is day eight.”

Customer: *scoffs loudly* “I called this morning and was told I could do it, no problem.”

Me: “Oh, uh, do you know who you spoke with?”

Customer: “[Name close to MOD’s Name], maybe?”

Me: “Was it [MOD’s name]?”

Customer: “She told me I could. If you won’t do it, then I’ll just return all of these and buy them back again.”

Me: “Well, if that’s what you’re going to do, I guess I might as well just ring it in; it’s nearly the same process.”

(I process the adjustment and she leaves. I grab the MOD and ask her if she spoke with the customer on the phone.)

MOD: “Yes, she’s lying. I told her that it was only up to seven days and that if she bought it on any type of promotion, we couldn’t process it. It’s okay that you processed it. Now you know.”

Me: “So she called in to check, found out she couldn’t, and came in anyway?”

MOD: “Yup.”

Returner Burner, Part 5
Returner Burner, Part 4
Returner Burner, Part 3

They Slipped Up With Their Scam

| Daytona Beach, FL, USA | Liars & Scammers

(I work at a very popular children’s toy store. We often have incidents where children drop or spill drinks or food, and their parents don’t tell anyone and leave it all for us to discover… eventually.)

Coworker: *over walkie* “I need a manager to the baby department; we have a guest who slipped and fell in a puddle of something.”

Manager: “[My Name], can you get a mop and wet floor sign?”

Me: “Sure.”

(While cleaning up the mess, I hear the manager call employees up to write incident statements, as well as the guest and her friend to fill out statements and a few others standing around that may have seen something.)

Guest: *finishes filling out the form* “I can’t believe how careless your employees are to have just left a spill there! I’m going to be calling your corporate office and complaining!” *leaves*

Coworker #2: *about twenty minutes later* “So [Manager] showed me the security footage. We have, from four different angles, video of the two girls walking up, pouring their own drink on the floor, and one pretending to slip in it.”

(Needless to say, I doubt they’d seen any kind of pity from Corporate once my manager had sent the video clips.)

Keeping A Deadly Account

| Manila, The Philippines | Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers

(I work for a call center that helps customers with their credit card concerns.)

Me: “[Credit Card Company]. This is [My Name]. How can I help?”

Caller: “Hello. I would like to know my balance, please.”

Me: “I will be more than happy to help you with that. May I have your card number?”

Caller: “I do not have that with me; can I give you my social instead?”

Me: “Sure. May I have your social?”

Caller: “It’s [Social Security Number].”

Me: “And may I have your name?”

Caller: “[Caller].”

Me: “Thanks, [Caller]. And can I have the four-digit PIN associated with the account?”

Caller: “I do not know that.”

(Even early on, I know that the caller is a fraudster. I see something on the account that I can use to shut him down.)

Me: “Thanks, [Caller]. Now, before I continue, can I ask you one question? Do you believe in resurrection?”

Caller: “Yes, why?”

Me: “Because you may have risen from the dead as the owner of this account has recently passed away.”

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