Category: Liars & Scammers

Ever come across a customer that has made you want to call the police? These ones pretty much ensure it. It goes way beyond the realms of shoplifting or threatening behavior. Some of these customers are too stupid even for those…

Checkout This Scam

| TX, USA | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Money, Non-Dialogue

A man buys a pack of cigarettes with a $50 bill. As I count his change back to him, he asks what he’d paid with, and I tell him it was a $50. He asks to buy it back, and counts out $49 in smaller bills and lays out 99 cents on the counter. I hand him the $50 for the $49 while he fishes for the last coin he needs. He comes up with a $1, which he gives me, along with the $50 and asks for a $100 instead.

We don’t have any $100s, nor other $50s. While I’m trying to figure out how to give him his money back, the fact that this is a scam occurs to me. I tell him, politely, that $50 of the money in my hands is mine, and he can either have the $50 bill or the small bills. He chooses the small bills. He then asks if he can buy the $50 back, and I let him.

Surprise, surprise, he tries the scam again, but this time I’m watching to see how it works, what he’s doing, and what I need to watch for in the future. Once he hands me the $50 back to ask for $100 again, I tell him he’s scamming me and is no longer welcome in the store. He grumbles a bit as he gathers up the change, but goes.

The next morning I come up $50 long. Apparently when I was kicking him out I forgot to give him his $50 back. So, to recap, I learned how to spot this kind of thing AND he ended up losing $50 on the deal. And if he hadn’t been greedy, and done the same kind of thing using a $10 to get $20, I wouldn’t have had the momentary confusion and he might have gotten away with it.

Grandma Hates Football

| Ann Arbor, MI, USA | Health & Body, Liars & Scammers

(I work in an assisted living home. We only offer our restrooms to those visiting residents, employees, and visiting staff, not to the general public. It should be noted that we are near a large football stadium and people tend to park near us on game days. A person wearing the home team’s jersey, hat, etc. walks in the building and comes up to me at the front desk.)

Person: “Hello, can I use the restroom?”

Me: Are you here visiting someone?”

Person: *thinking they’ve got me* “Yes, my grandma.”

Me: “Oh? What’s her name? And I’ll need you to sign in, please.”

Person: *turning red* “Look, I just need to use the bathroom before the game.”

Me: “Yes, and they have facilities at the stadium for that.”

Person: “But there are lines! I don’t want to miss kickoff!”

Me: *shrugs* “Sorry, but the answer’s still no.”

Person: “UGH, you just hate football!” *stomps out in a huff*

(I actually like football, just not a**-hole fans. Some variation of this conversation happens every single game day with multiple people.)

Not Chickening Out Or Shrimping Away

| USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

(I work in a Chinese restaurant. For any of the curries you can get vegetable, chicken, beef, or shrimp. Shrimp is the most expensive option.)

Customer: “Hi, can I get the red curry with chicken?”

Me: “No problem!”

Customer: “But can you substitute the shrimp for the chicken?”

Me: “So you want red curry with shrimp?”

Customer: “No, I want red curry with chicken but I want the chicken substituted with shrimp. That way I get shrimp for the price of chicken. Get it?”

Me: “Um, it doesn’t work like that, sir.”

Customer: “Oh, please… There’s a reason I’m sitting here and you’re serving me.”

Super Bowl Scam Day

| CA, USA | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers

(I am working as the shift supervisor during the late afternoon on a Super Bowl Sunday. It is typically one of our slowest days of the year, so it’s just myself and two other employees working. A guest pulls to the speaker and orders. Because we have no other orders my cook makes his order right away, and since it takes the guest a little over a minute to pull around, I have his order bagged and ready before he gets to my window.)

Me: “Good afternoon, sir. Your total today is [total].”

(The guest hands over his payment, and I make the change quickly.)

Me: “All right, sir, here’s your receipt, and your change. Just one moment, and I will have your drinks for you.”

(I turn around and grab the tray with his drinks and see that he is already pulling out of the drive-thru. I lean out the window and shout for him.)

Me: “Sir! Sir! Your drinks!”

(The guest backs up to the window and I hand out his drinks.)

Me: “Here you go. Wouldn’t want you to leave without these.”

Guest: “What are you going to give me?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Guest: “Normally when you people mess up, you give me something, like free cookies or something. What are you going to give me?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I didn’t mess up. I told you I had your drinks and when I tried to hand them to you, you were driving away.”

Guest: “This is stupid! You owe me something. I’m missing the Super Bowl for this!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I understand how frustrating that is. I’m missing a Super Bowl party myself.”

Guest: “You’re really not going to give me anything?”

Me: “No, sir, I am not.”

Guest: “Fine! I’ll just call tomorrow. They’ll give me something!”

Me: “Best of luck to you with that, sir. Enjoy your food, and have a wonderful rest of the evening!”

(The guest glared at me for a few seconds, before driving off. I left a note for the managers for the following day. The guest did try to call, but my general manager told him that we would not be giving him something free because he chose to drive away without his drinks while I was trying to hand them to him.)

I’m Team Peppa

| NJ, USA | Bizarre, Books & Reading, Liars & Scammers

(I work at a bookstore that closes at 10:00 pm. I am checking out my last customer when someone comes up to me and puts a book on the table.)

Customer: “Hello. I’d like to return this book.”

Me: “Of course, sir! Why would you like to return this book?”

Customer: “I gave it to my four-year-old son and he said that he couldn’t read it. There also weren’t any pictures in it.”

(As I continue to inspect the book, I realize he has given his son a Twilight book.)

Me: “Sir, you do realize that you just gave your son a Twilight book. He shouldn’t be reading this.”

Customer: “What? Man, you must be VERY stupid. If you know how to read, it says ‘Peppa Pig’ on the cover.”

Me: “Sir, I assure you that this is Twilight.”

(I then realized that the customer had taped a paper that read “Peppa Pig” over the normal title so that his son wouldn’t notice. He kept trying to convince me that it was Peppa Pig. He had to be escorted out when he tried to assault me.)

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