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Category: Liars & Scammers

Ever come across a customer that has made you want to call the police? These ones pretty much ensure it. It goes way beyond the realms of shoplifting or threatening behavior. Some of these customers are too stupid even for those…

A Walk-In That Runs Out

| NV, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Liars & Scammers, Top

(I work as a secretary in my husband’s practice. We don’t take walk-ins, and it’s clearly stated on the front door, but people still try to see him without an appointment. One day, someone comes in while my husband is out having lunch.)

Walk-In: “Hi, can I see Dr. [Name]?”

(I already suspect something, since my husband would never schedule appointments during his lunch break.)

Me: “What time is your appointment?”

Walk-In: “I don’t have one.”

Me: “I’m sorry; we’re by appointment only.”

Walk-In: “That’s okay; I’m his brother. He’s expecting me.”

Me: “Really? He didn’t tell me anything of the sort.”

Walk-In: “Well, you’re just a silly secretary. You don’t need to know that sort of thing. Can I go see him now?”

Me: “You said you’re his brother?”

Walk-In: “Yes!”

Me: “Well, that’s funny. You don’t look the least bit like him.”

Walk-In: “Everyone says that.”

Me: “Really?”

Walk-In: “Look, b****, I don’t have time for this. Just—”

(At this point, my husband has returned from lunch and has just heard the walk-in’s slur.)

My Husband: “Excuse me! Don’t speak to her that way.”

(The walk-in turns around and looks my husband square in the face.)

Walk-In: “Hey, mind your own business, moron. This doesn’t concern you, so butt out.”

Me: “Actually, it does concern him. That’s the doctor.”

(The walk-in goes white in the face. My husband crosses his arms.)

My Husband: “And moreover, that’s my wife you’ve just insulted.”

Me: *sweetly* “How did you say you were related, again?”

Taking Account Of Your Actions

| Newcastle, NSW, Australia | Liars & Scammers, Money, Top

(I work in telephone banking for a major bank. In our system, we can see all of the customer’s call history, from wait time, last 20 calls, who the customer spoke to, and any notes left by previous bankers.)

Me: “Hello and welcome to [Bank]; my name is [Name]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Oh, thank f*** for that! Do you know how long I’ve been waiting? 35 f****** minutes! And all I wanted to do was check my balance on my credit card!”

(I can clearly see the customer has waited a total of 25 seconds from the start of his call to speak to me.)

Me: “I’m so sorry about any wait there, but you have come through fully identified, so thank you for putting in your customer number and access code. Now before I can—”

Customer: “Now you just f****** wait a minute. I’ve been waiting 35 minutes to speak to you, and you aren’t even going to apologize for making me wait? What kind of f****** s*** customer service are you lot running there? Huh?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir; I did apologize for the wait that you experienced and I—”

Customer: “Get your f****** manager now! I don’t have to deal with this! I demand compensation for my time and phone charges! Get your manager!”

(I put the customer on hold and signal for a manager to take an escalated call. While I wait for my manager to arrive, I look at the customer history. I see that the customer has been with us for five years. He seems to call twice a year, and almost always demands to speak to a manager, repeatedly demanding compensation. He has been told by our relations department that they will not compensate him further because he has been given close to $2000 in refunded interest on his credit card over the five years. There is a special note from the head of the relations department simply saying ‘if customer threatens to close accounts, process request. Do not attempt win-back.’ I recap the call so far to my manager, and advise him about the notes from the relations department as well. Total wait for the caller has now been two minutes.)

Manager: “Hello, sir, my name is [Name] and I’m a manager. How can I help?”

Customer: “Well, hasn’t that taken you a f****** lifetime to answer?! I’m sick of this s***! I demand that I have interest repaid to my credit card or I’ll close all my accounts!”

Manager: “Sir, I’m not going to be able to repay the interest for you, as you’ve already had close to $2000 refunded to you over the past—”

Customer: “Well, then close my accounts! Close them now! If you can’t fulfill a simple request like that, f*** you and [Bank]! I’ll take my business elsewhere.”

Manager: “Sir, just so I have it clear: you are formally requesting for me to close out your accounts with [Bank] right now?”

Customer: “That’s what I f***** said; you people just—”

Manager: “Okay, sir, as requested all your accounts are now closed. The amount you had owing on your credit card has been automatically paid from your everyday account, leaving you a balance of $52.16, which I’ll post out to you as a check. I’m sorry you’ve chosen to leave [Bank], but I hope you have a wonderful day.”

Customer: “YOU CLOSED MY ACCOUNTS?! BUT I—”

Manager: “You requested for them to be close on a recorded phone call where you were asked to confirm your wishes. You aren’t scamming anymore FREE money from [Bank].”

Customer: “I…”

Manager: “Hello?”

Customer: *defeated* “I… err… I’ll… I’ll wait for my check.” *click*

Liars & Scammers Themed Giveaway Roundup

Not Always Right | Liars & Scammers, Roundups

Liars & Scammers Themed Giveaway Roundup! Here’s a final roundup of stories from last month’s themed giveaway!

  1. He’s The Best Actor Of The Bunch (3,379 thumbs up)
  2. Hasn’t Got A Leg To Stand On (2,068 thumbs up)
  3. Putting Your Son Into A Sweet Disposition (2,953 thumbs up)
  4. Some Like It Not Hot (2,521 thumbs up)
  5. Demanding Understanding (2,445 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!