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Category: Liars & Scammers

Ever come across a customer that has made you want to call the police? These ones pretty much ensure it. It goes way beyond the realms of shoplifting or threatening behavior. Some of these customers are too stupid even for those…

Check And Mate

| Huntsville, AL, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

Me: “Thank you for calling [Pizza Place]. My name is [Name]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah. I ordered my pizza, like, an hour ago. It’s still not here.”

Me: “I’m terribly sorry, ma’am. May I have your phone number so I can check your order?”

Customer: “Yeah. It’s [number]. Look, I’m really upset about this. My family is hungry. I expect you to send my order out immediately. I expect not to have to pay for it since it’s been over an hour.”

(At this point, my driver has walked in. It is a slow night. He is the only driver I have working. I put the customer on hold.)

Me: “Hey, man. Are you getting back from that run out to [customer’s street]?”

Driver: “Yeah, why?”

Me: “They’re on hold right now. They’re saying you never delivered their pizza.”

Driver: *rolls his eyes and reaches into his pocket* “Here’s the check they paid me with.”

(I get back on the phone with the customer. I verify her name, address, and phone number before confronting her.)

Me: “Ma’am. My driver just returned and handed me a check. It has your information on it and is written for the amount of your order. I also note that you didn’t even tip my driver.”

Customer: *long silence* “YOUR DRIVER IS LYING! I DON’T KNOW HOW HE GOT MY CHECK, BUT HE NEVER DELIVERED MY FOOD. I WANT IT NOW!”

Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am. I’m afraid I can’t do that. Here’s the number to our corporate office if you’d like to call them about this.”

(As the customer hangs up, I hear her shouting to someone on her end of the line.)

Customer: “WHO’S THE IDIOT WHO PAID FOR THE PIZZA WITH A CHECK?!”

Kill Bill

| Italy | Liars & Scammers, Money

(My sister and I co-own a gas station. She usually mans the full service pump, while I follow the back office stuff. She calls me over while with a customer.)

Me: “Yes. How can I be of help?”

(My sister hands me a clearly false €20 bill.)

Sister: “I exchanged his €50 bill for two €20 bills and one €10 at his request, so he could do 20 on the self service. Now he’s here claiming the self service machine doesn’t accept this bill. He wants it exchanged with another 20€ bill.”

Customer: *smugly* “I’m sorry. I know these machine sometimes are difficult, right?”

Me: “No problem.”

(I take the false €20 bill and hand it back to the customer.)

Me: “Keep this one. Just use the other one you got from your €50 bill!”

(The scamming customer tries to open his mouth to say something, then goes back to the self service machine. I follow him. He again tries the false bill.)

Customer: “It doesn’t work!”

Me: *with a smile* “Use the other one.”

(The customer reluctantly uses a good 20€ bill. He pumps the gas, and leaves without a word.)

Lying Is All Relative(s), Part 2

| Adelaide, SA, Australia | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

(My sister and I work in a bakery owned by our family; our grandma is the owner.)

Customer: “Hi. I’m the owner’s daughter. So, I can get my food for free, okay?”

Me: “Okay. I’ll call your mother in, okay?”

(The customer nervously nods. I call in my grandma.)

Grandma: “What is it?”

Me: “Oh, this customer says you’re her mum.”

(My grandma looks at the customer.)

Grandma: “I have never seen you in my life. Also, you look about twenty. So you could pass as my granddaughter, but not as my daughter!”

(The customer ran out quickly!)

Related:
Lying Is All Relative(s)