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Category: Liars & Scammers

Ever come across a customer that has made you want to call the police? These ones pretty much ensure it. It goes way beyond the realms of shoplifting or threatening behavior. Some of these customers are too stupid even for those…

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Super Bowl Scam Day

| CA, USA | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers

(I am working as the shift supervisor during the late afternoon on a Super Bowl Sunday. It is typically one of our slowest days of the year, so it’s just myself and two other employees working. A guest pulls to the speaker and orders. Because we have no other orders my cook makes his order right away, and since it takes the guest a little over a minute to pull around, I have his order bagged and ready before he gets to my window.)

Me: “Good afternoon, sir. Your total today is [total].”

(The guest hands over his payment, and I make the change quickly.)

Me: “All right, sir, here’s your receipt, and your change. Just one moment, and I will have your drinks for you.”

(I turn around and grab the tray with his drinks and see that he is already pulling out of the drive-thru. I lean out the window and shout for him.)

Me: “Sir! Sir! Your drinks!”

(The guest backs up to the window and I hand out his drinks.)

Me: “Here you go. Wouldn’t want you to leave without these.”

Guest: “What are you going to give me?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Guest: “Normally when you people mess up, you give me something, like free cookies or something. What are you going to give me?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I didn’t mess up. I told you I had your drinks and when I tried to hand them to you, you were driving away.”

Guest: “This is stupid! You owe me something. I’m missing the Super Bowl for this!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I understand how frustrating that is. I’m missing a Super Bowl party myself.”

Guest: “You’re really not going to give me anything?”

Me: “No, sir, I am not.”

Guest: “Fine! I’ll just call tomorrow. They’ll give me something!”

Me: “Best of luck to you with that, sir. Enjoy your food, and have a wonderful rest of the evening!”

(The guest glared at me for a few seconds, before driving off. I left a note for the managers for the following day. The guest did try to call, but my general manager told him that we would not be giving him something free because he chose to drive away without his drinks while I was trying to hand them to him.)

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I’m Team Peppa

| NJ, USA | Bizarre, Books & Reading, Liars & Scammers

(I work at a bookstore that closes at 10:00 pm. I am checking out my last customer when someone comes up to me and puts a book on the table.)

Customer: “Hello. I’d like to return this book.”

Me: “Of course, sir! Why would you like to return this book?”

Customer: “I gave it to my four-year-old son and he said that he couldn’t read it. There also weren’t any pictures in it.”

(As I continue to inspect the book, I realize he has given his son a Twilight book.)

Me: “Sir, you do realize that you just gave your son a Twilight book. He shouldn’t be reading this.”

Customer: “What? Man, you must be VERY stupid. If you know how to read, it says ‘Peppa Pig’ on the cover.”

Me: “Sir, I assure you that this is Twilight.”

(I then realized that the customer had taped a paper that read “Peppa Pig” over the normal title so that his son wouldn’t notice. He kept trying to convince me that it was Peppa Pig. He had to be escorted out when he tried to assault me.)

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Doesn’t Have Twenty-Twenty Cent Vision

| Bavaria, Germany | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Money

(Here in Bavaria stores are mandated by law to close at 8 pm so it’s usually rather packed from 7:30 until 8 pm. A line of approximately 15 people are waiting at the register. First in line is a woman in her 40s.)

Woman: “I’m sorry. Why is my receipt saying this cucumber is 70 cents?! I’m pretty sure it’s 50 cents.”

Cashier: “Well, if it rings up for 70 cents it usually is. But I can take a look at my price sheet.” *she takes a look in her binder* “No, sorry, 70 cents.”

Woman: “Well, then you must have priced it wrong. The price tag said 50 cents!”

Cashier: “I’m sorry. Maybe you looked at the wrong price tag. Happens to the best of us.”

Woman: “NO! YOU ARE COMING WITH ME TO THE AISLE RIGHT NOW! I’m not letting you f*** me over! They cost 50 cents!”

Cashier: “Well, if you insist.”

(The cashier is standing up from her register and walks away with the angry woman. Meanwhile there are over 20 people waiting in line. It only takes 2-3 minutes until the cashier comes back with the woman who appears even more angry.)

Woman: “NO! YOU’RE F****** ME OVER! I’m sure someone heard me complaining and changed the tag! THEY WERE F****** 50 CENTS!” *while waving around with said cucumber, slamming it on the counter*

Cashier: “Well, again, I’m sorry but the tag, the register, and my price sheet are saying 70 cents. Now please pay so I can attend to those other customers.”

Woman: “NO! QUIT YOUR LYING. YOU’LL GET ME YOUR MANAGER NOW! I’M NOT GONNA—”

(Suddenly, a customer is walking up to the woman and throws 20 cents at the counter. By now the line reached until the back of the store.)

Man: “HERE! Now take your stuff and leave. Let’s hope the IRS will not find out I’m throwing around such huge sums!”

(The woman angrily stormed out, got in her – I wish I was kidding – BMW-SUV, and drove away. The kicker? She left the cucumber behind.)

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Caught Red-Cupped

| Portland, OR, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

(I’m a food cart cashier on my last day of work, and have just returned from my lunch break with my helper. Our zoo had stopped all sales of a popular souvenir cup several days earlier, but returning visitors can bring the cups back with them to take advantage of our $1.00 refill deal for all souvenir cups, continued or discontinued. Almost ten minutes after returning, a group of five people cuts in front, and one of them angrily points at me.)

Customer: “We bought seven different drinks, and four of them were in the [Popular Souvenir Cup], twenty minutes ago! We left them at our table for just a minute, and they all got stolen! We want new cups for everything, for free! Or give us our money back!”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, but I can’t refund you on those cups.”

Customer: “This is bull-s***! Why can’t you do your job and give us our money’s worth?!”

Me: “Well, considering we haven’t sold these cups in days, I doubt you bought them from here in the last twenty minutes.”

Customer: “Oh, uh, I just forgot; we bought them over at the food cart near the—”

Me: “No location in the zoo is selling these cups anymore. We discontinued them last week while we wait for the new souvenir cup design to be shipped in.”

(The customer and their whole gaggle of a family then try to stutter out new drink orders, but my helper sharply tells them they’ve cut in the line and that they’ll need to wait, and they leave looking incredibly embarrassed. Apparently, according to the workers who covered for me and my helper, they’d been waiting for us to come back from lunch break, and had been watching other people carry cups around. Before they were out of earshot, I called out to them.)

Me: “Next time you want to scam someone, at least be smart about it!”

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The Phone Crashed

| Moscow, ID, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers

(It’s about five minutes to closing, and I am monitoring the entrance door to my store when a girl rushes in, waving at me.)

Girl: “I’ll be just a minute! I promise! I need one thing!”

(She dashes off into the store and I go back to waiting for the clock to hit ten when I hear, over the loudspeaker:)

Coworker: “Harry in Hardware, if you’re in the store, you’re needed in Electronics.”

(Knowing that this is the code name for our loss-prevention agent, I go on alert just as the manager is locking up the doors to the store. Not thirty seconds later, the girl from earlier runs full tilt towards the doors with her arms cradling something to her chest, and smashes right into them, face first. The manager, who is ten feet away, approaches.)

Manager: “I need to see what’s in your coat, please.”

Girl: “Oh, but…”

(She opens her jacket and there’s a pre-paid cellphone. A look of exaggerated amazement appears on her face.)

Girl: “But… I don’t know how that got there…”

(I missed the rest of the show because it was time to clock out, but it was really hard not to just topple over laughing.)

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