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Category: Liars & Scammers

Ever come across a customer that has made you want to call the police? These ones pretty much ensure it. It goes way beyond the realms of shoplifting or threatening behavior. Some of these customers are too stupid even for those…

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Honesty Not Included

| UK | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Popular

(I am the customer in this story. I am posting a present to a relative in Finland.)

Post Office: “What is in the parcel?”

Me: “Children’s toy.”

Post Office: “Does it contain batteries?”

Me: “No…”

Post Office: “Okay, then that’s fine. Please pass it through the window.”

Parcel: *starts singing jaunty nursery rhyme as I accidentally hit a button whilst passing it to her*

Post Office & Me: *avoid eye contact and pretend we heard nothing*

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Won’t Be Seeing You

| IA, USA | Bad Behavior, Liars & Scammers, Popular

(I work at a concession stand in my school. A person walks in that I’ve never seen before.)

Customer: “Hey, I’m blind; what do you sell? You’ll have to read it off to me.”

Me: “Oh, okay. Well, we sell hot dogs, nachos, assorted sodas, and candy.”

Customer: “All right. I’ll take one of those hot dogs, and I see you sell pizza. Why’d you leave that out?”

Me: *I left it out because we ran out but I’m confused because he saw it* “Um, we don’t have anymore… I’m sorry, but did you say you SAW it?”

Customer: “Doubting a customer? How rude to treat me! I’m bringing my business elsewhere!”

Me: *to coworker* “This is why I can’t with people sometimes.”

Customer: “What was that? I heard that? Do I need to get a manager involved?”

Manager: *heard the whole thing* “Sir, I think you should, in fact, take your business elsewhere.”

Customer: “Fine! This isn’t the last you’ve seen of me!”

(We haven’t seen him since.)

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Horror Movie

| AZ, USA | Liars & Scammers, Movies & TV, Popular

(I’m working in the video department at an entertainment store. My responsibilities include checking-in and shelving DVDs, and sending warning letters when a customer’s account balance has so many late fees that their account is being sent to collections.)

Me: *answers phone with store greeting*

Caller: “You crook!”

Me: “Pardon?”

Caller: “I got this letter saying I stole some movies! How dare you accuse me? You’re all thieves!”

Me: *manages to extract her name so I can pull up her account* “Well, ma’am, it looks like you rented out [Movie #1] and [Movie #2] on [Date]. If you return them, the block will be removed and your account will not be sent to collections.”

Caller: “I bought those movies! You’re a f****** liar! You’re going to f****** ruin my credit!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but those movies are still popular releases and we haven’t marked any for used sale yet. My system says specifically that they were rented.”

Caller: “You’re just trying to swindle me!”

Me: “Ma’am, new copies of these movies sell for $25 and we have never sold a used copy of either. You paid $6 to rent both.”

(The caller goes into an insane rage. She threatens to beat me up, kidnap me, throw acid in my face, and burn my store down. In the background you can hear her husband desperately trying to get her to calm down and hang up.)

Me: *hangs up*

(Twenty minutes later a man walked in and silently dropped the two movies into the slot.)

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Oil Try Again Somewhere Else

| San Antonio, TX, USA | Liars & Scammers, Popular, Transportation

(I’m selling my car to raise money for a move to Japan in 2011. I’ve found a prospective buyer and let her have a test drive. We’re getting to the time to change out money and car and she brings her husband who takes his time to go around the car.)

Husband: “We can’t pay your asking price for this.”

Me: “Why not?”

Husband: “It’s leaking oil, see?”

(Points under the car to where a small amount of liquid has discolored the pavement.)

Husband: “It’ll cost is too much to keep it running.”

Me: “That’s funny. It doesn’t use that much oil.”

Husband: “Well, we’ll still have to ask you to drop the price to [amount way lower than what will get me the money I need for the move].”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t afford to go that low. I wouldn’t have enough money to get to my new job.”

Husband: “Well, the highest I can go would be [price that is still way too low].”

Me: “No. I think I’ll have call this off and find someone else, then.”

Husband: “Are you sure? You’re not going get it sold to anyone with that leak.”

Me: “Yeah, I think so. Sorry for wasting your time.”

(Husband and Wife look bewildered that I’m not willing to haggle but leave anyway. I take my car back to my parents’ home where I’m staying before heading to Japan.)

Father: “They were trying to scam you.”

Me: “It kinda felt like that, but how can you know?”

Father: “There’s no oil stains on our driveway. If you were leaking oil there’d be at least one.”

(I later had my mechanics look for leaks and they found none, saying the only liquid was coming from condensation. I took the car to a used car place and got about 90% of my asking price… more than double the best price the husband offered me. The used car place’s damage report only found cosmetic damage and found the engine and car itself to be in excellent condition. I am still in Japan.)

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I Love The Smell Of BS In The Morning…

| VA, USA | Liars & Scammers, Military, Popular

(The high-end restaurant I work at offers a hefty discount to serving military or military veterans. A couple come in, the man in an army uniform. I notice something off about the man’s ribbons and notify the restaurant owner (who is a veteran). He goes over to the couple’s table.)

Owner: “Good evening. Welcome to [Restaurant]. I’m the owner, [Owner]. I just wanted to come over and thank you for your service. Would you two like a glass of wine on the house?”

Man: *obviously pleased at the recognition* “Sure, thanks.”

Owner: “Or would you prefer a soft drink? I know alcohol doesn’t stand up to the super-soldier serum very well.”

Man: “What?”

Owner: “Well, by your ribbons there, I see you served in Vietnam. You don’t look a day older than 30, so my guess would be super-soldier serum, right?”

Man: *now bright red* “Uh…”

Owner: “Only explanation for it, considering that impersonating a military officer is worth three years in prison and no one would be f***-witted enough to do that for a discounted meal, right?”

Woman: *absolutely enraged* “You lying f***ing sack of a**-holes!”

(The man bolted out without his date. The owner gave the woman a free meal and a couple of desserts to take home, and one of the wait staff gave her a ride home.)

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