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Category: Liars & Scammers

Ever come across a customer that has made you want to call the police? These ones pretty much ensure it. It goes way beyond the realms of shoplifting or threatening behavior. Some of these customers are too stupid even for those…

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His Thinking Is Far To The Right

, | Fayetteville, AK, USA | Crazy Requests, Liars & Scammers, Popular, School

(Usually, it’s pretty slow but one day a patron is very irate and storms over to me.)

Me: “Hello, sir. How may I help you?”

Patron: “You need to change your doors!”

Me: *slightly confused* “Excuse me?”

Patron: “Your doors are on the wrong side. This is f***ing America! We do everything to the right! You god-d*** door entrances are on the left. I demand you fix them!”

Me: “Sir, I’m going to have to ask that you stop using that type of language and keep your voice down. I’m sorry you have such a problem with the position of our doors. I can fill out a maintenance request but I don’t think there is much they will be willing to do since they isn’t actually anything physically wrong with the doors.”

Patron: “Listen here! I’m the Dean of this library! I demand you fix those doors right now! This is America, not f***ing England! ”

Me: “Sir, I am asking you again to lower your voice and not speak to me that way. If I have to ask you again I will be asking you to leave. And sir, that’s pretty amazing surgery if you’re in fact the dean.”

Patron: “What the h*** are you talking about?”

Me: “Well, sir, you’re a Caucasian, mid-twenties male. Our Dean, at least as of this morning when she came in, was an African American, middle-aged woman.”

(He stormed out of the library as security quickly followed him. He was banned from the library and I never did put in that maintenance request!)

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Your Wifely Duties

| USA | Liars & Scammers, Popular

(My husband and father-in-law own a small grocery store. I’m working as a cashier and am helping a very elderly gentleman put his items on the belt so I can ring him up when a woman pushes through us and starts to unload her stuff on the front half of the belt.)

Me: “Excuse me, but you need to move to the back of the line. This gentleman is currently checking out.”

Customer: “I don’t see you ringing him up so it’s actually my turn.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but he needed some help. Although I haven’t started to check him out, it is still his turn.”

Customer: “I’m the owner’s wife! If I say it’s my turn it’s my d*** turn!”

Me: “Actually, ma’am, I’m the owner’s wife and I would appreciate it if you would remove your items and please move behind this gentleman so I can finish checking him out.”

Customer: “What do you know? You’re just a f****** cashier. I AM the owner’s WIFE!”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, just give me a moment.”

(I apologize to the gentleman and text my husband to come to the register as I walk to stand behind it. The customer gives me a smug smile but I wait to ring her up. My husband walks up.)

Husband: “What seems to be the problem?”

Me: “Nothing much. She kept insisting she was your wife so she could cut in front of this nice gentleman. I tried telling her I was your wife but she wouldn’t listen so I thought you could tell her.”

(We both look at the customer as her face goes red with embarrassment and anger.)

Customer: “This is bull-s***! Your customer service is terrible! I’m never shopping here again!”

(She storms off and my husband yells after her.)

Husband: “See you at home, honey!”

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Going To Jail For Taxi Fraud

| Prescott, AZ, USA | Liars & Scammers, Popular, Transportation

(I drive a young, male customer about 11 miles from one town to another, running his fare just a little under $30. We arrive to his home and he gives me his debit card, and I slide it through a device attached to my phone. It gets declined.)

Me: “Do you have another form of payment?”

Customer: “No, that’s all I have! I don’t understand; I have over $1,000 in my account!”

Me: “Let me input the information manually. Maybe it will work that way.” *it gets declined once again* “Sorry, it’s not taking it. I can take you to your bank and you can see what’s going on?”

Customer: “I don’t have time for that! I don’t understand; there’s money in my account!”

Me: “I need payment from you. I cannot let this slide.”

Customer: “I don’t know what to tell you.”

Me: “I can run you to your bank quickly so we can get this straightened out.”

Customer: “I told you, I don’t have time for that!”

Me: “Look, you either have time to go to the bank, or you have time to deal with the police, because this is theft of services.”

(He quickly found a way to pay me after that!)