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Category: Liars & Scammers

Ever come across a customer that has made you want to call the police? These ones pretty much ensure it. It goes way beyond the realms of shoplifting or threatening behavior. Some of these customers are too stupid even for those…

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Honesty Not Included

| UK | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Popular

(I am the customer in this story. I am posting a present to a relative in Finland.)

Post Office: “What is in the parcel?”

Me: “Children’s toy.”

Post Office: “Does it contain batteries?”

Me: “No…”

Post Office: “Okay, then that’s fine. Please pass it through the window.”

Parcel: *starts singing jaunty nursery rhyme as I accidentally hit a button whilst passing it to her*

Post Office & Me: *avoid eye contact and pretend we heard nothing*

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Won’t Be Seeing You

| IA, USA | Bad Behavior, Liars & Scammers, Popular

(I work at a concession stand in my school. A person walks in that I have never seen before.)

Customer: “Hey, I’m blind; what do you sell? You’ll have to read it off to me.”

Me: “Oh, okay. Well, we sell hot dogs, nachos, assorted sodas, and candy.”

Customer: “All right. I’ll take one of those hot dogs, and I see you sell pizza. Why’d you leave that out?”

Me: *I left it out because we ran out but I’m confused because he saw it* “Um, we don’t have anymore… I’m sorry, but did you say you SAW it?”

Customer: “Doubting a customer? How rude to treat me! I’m bringing my business elsewhere!”

Me: *to coworker* “This is why I can’t with people sometimes.”

Customer: “What was that? I heard that? Do I need to get a manager involved?”

Manager: *heard the whole thing* “Sir, I think you should, in fact, take your business elsewhere.”

Customer: “Fine! This isn’t the last you’ve seen of me!”

(We haven’t seen him since.)

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Horror Movie

| AZ, USA | Liars & Scammers, Movies & TV, Popular

(I’m working in the video department at an entertainment store. My responsibilities include checking-in and shelving DVDs, and sending warning letters when a customer’s account balance has so many late fees that their account is being sent to collections.)

Me: *answers phone with store greeting*

Caller: “You crook!”

Me: “Pardon?”

Caller: “I got this letter saying I stole some movies! How dare you accuse me? You’re all thieves!”

Me: *manages to extract her name so I can pull up her account* “Well, ma’am, it looks like you rented out [Movie #1] and [Movie #2] on [Date]. If you return them, the block will be removed and your account will not be sent to collections.”

Caller: “I bought those movies! You’re a f****** liar! You’re going to f****** ruin my credit!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but those movies are still popular releases and we haven’t marked any for used sale yet. My system says specifically that they were rented.”

Caller: “You’re just trying to swindle me!”

Me: “Ma’am, new copies of these movies sell for $25 and we have never sold a used copy of either. You paid $6 to rent both.”

(The caller goes into an insane rage. She threatens to beat me up, kidnap me, throw acid in my face, and burn my store down. In the background you can hear her husband desperately trying to get her to calm down and hang up.)

Me: *hangs up*

(Twenty minutes later a man walked in and silently dropped the two movies into the slot.)