Category: Liars & Scammers

Ever come across a customer that has made you want to call the police? These ones pretty much ensure it. It goes way beyond the realms of shoplifting or threatening behavior. Some of these customers are too stupid even for those…

A Serious Error In Judgment

| NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Popular

(I work in a call center for a large trucking company. It’s mainly customer service, but we also make collection calls when a client’s invoice has gone past due.)

Me: “Good day, ma’am. This is [My Name] from [Company]. We are looking for payment on an invoice that has gone past due.”

Client: “Yes, we’re aware. We are refusing payment. You didn’t deliver the materials on time.”

Me: “I’m so sorry that happened! Do you mind holding a moment so I can look into this a bit further and credit your account?”

Client: “No problem.”

(I put the client on hold and review the shipping papers. The client did ask for a specific delivery day of Tuesday on the paperwork… However, that’s exactly when we delivered, at 10:00 am, a full two hours before the guaranteed time of noon.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. But it shows here that you requested a delivery date of Tuesday by noon and we actually delivered at 10:00 am.”

Client: “Yes, I know, but you were still a day late.”

Me: “No, ma’am. It delivered Tuesday as requested on the shipping papers.”

Client: “Yes, but it supposed to be there Monday.”

Me: “But that’s not what the shipping paper says.”

Client: “I already said I know that. But it was supposed to be there Monday. Now my customer will not pay us because of it.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but how are we to know that the goods had to be there Monday if you put Tuesday on the paperwork?”

Client: “Well, because I didn’t want to pay for the two-day service. I expected your driver to get it there ahead of schedule.”

Me: “So, let me get this straight. You asked us to deliver Tuesday, but you are withholding payment because you really wanted it there Monday? And now you’re trying to hold us responsible for delivering late after you just admitted you were trying to avoid paying extra costs for expedited service?”

Client: “Um… well… you still should have gotten it there Monday. Isn’t it your job to exceed the customer’s expectations?”

Me: “Actually, we did just that… by delivering a full two hours before the time documented on the papers.”

Client: “Well, I can’t pay you. I won’t be paid, so I can’t pay you.”

Me: “So, essentially, you want my company to pay for your error?”

Client: “Yes. I think it’s only fair.”

Me: “Ma’am, if this invoice is not paid in full by the end of today, based on the information you’ve admitted to me here, I will have no choice but to file a theft-of-service report with my headquarters and cut off service to your location. At that time, the company attorney will be in contact with your owner to discuss litigation. Further, we will also send notification to the credit bureaus that will ding your company’s credit score which will make it difficult to obtain credit with another freight carrier. Do you have any other questions before I termination this call?”

Client: “I… um… that’s not… um… necessary. Do you take company credit cards?”

Try Scamming A Mile In His Shoes

| WI, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Popular, Technology

(A customer calls about a TV he’d ordered online that he wants to return, stating the reason is it is ‘damaged.’ Our driver goes to retrieve the item. He has an inspection form to complete so he is getting ready to open the box to inspect the TV.)

Customer: “What are you doing?!”

Driver: *shows inspection form* “I’m required to fill this out before I take the TV. This will only take a minute.”

(The driver proceeds to open the TV box fully expecting a 55″ TV only to find the box is full of gym shoes.)

Driver: “What the h*** is this?”

Customer: “What?! [Company] must have sent it to me like that!”

(Not only did we not pick up his ‘TV’ but this customer is now officially black-listed from ever ordering anything from that company again.)

Can’t Use The Beer-Code

| Bristol, England, UK | At The Checkout, Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers

(On a busy Sunday, we are short staffed on the tills and my manager jumps on a till to give us a hand. A customer comes up to him and hands him a piece of folded newspaper and a beer.)

Customer: “This is free, so just give me a bag and I’ll go.”

Manager: “Umm, I’m afraid you haven’t yet paid for your item, sir.”

Customer: “But I gave you a VOUCHER!”

(The manager unfolds the newspaper scrap which turns out to be a barcode (or most of one) and nothing else.)

Manager: “Sir, I can’t accept this; there is no voucher here. You can’t pay with barcodes.”

(The customer is now getting angry and agitated, and several customers behind him are starting to get impatient. So my manager attempts to scan the barcode “just this once”, but it is not recognised by the till.)

Manager: “Can I ask where you got this voucher, sir? It doesn’t seem to be on our system.”

Customer: *now red with anger* “I DON’T HAVE TO EXPLAIN MYSELF TO YOU! *slams beer down on the til* “FINE! I’LL JUST LEAVE!”

(He stormed out of the shop, ranting about the “attitudes of the staff.” My manager and I shared a bewildered look with each other, and with some of the regulars waiting in the queue.)

The Mother Of All Fakes

| Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Liars & Scammers

(I have just finished making a sandwich for a woman when she starts speaking to me as I ring her up.)

Customer: “I’m sorry. Sometimes the spirits just won’t let me keep my mouth shut.”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “I’m a psychic you see, and I have a message from beyond.”

Me: *not convinced* “Oh, really?” *prompts her to pay*

Customer: “Yes, it’s a message from your mother’s mother.”

(She then looks up at me and grins, I guess I was supposed to be excited. I prompt the machine again which she finally takes.)

Me: “Oh really? Which one?”

Customer: *her head snaps up, frowning* “What?”

Me: “Well, my mother was adopted, so she had two mothers, and both passed years ago.”

Customer: *flounders for a moment before speaking* “The biological one, the one you were closest with, her.”

Me: “Well, that’s funny. I didn’t know her well.”

(The customer finally finishes paying and I hand her her food. She frowns again, then grins.)

Customer: “The one you were closest with. She wants me to tell you she is always watching over you and will be your spirit guide.”

(She tries handing me her “business” card, which I just shove in my apron.)

Me: “That’s funny, as my mother and I also consider ourselves psychic. My mother’s adopted mother isn’t connected to the earth anymore. My mother’s biological mother, however, is connected to her and leaves her gifts and things. Have a nice day. Bye!”

(She stormed out, angry I just outed her. My coworkers and I had fun at her expense, and I looked her up from her business card. She has gotten in trouble for scamming people. I may believe in psychics, but most of them don’t butt into people’s lives, especially at work. You learn to keep your mouth shut; it can ruin a person to hear things like that.)

Trafficking False Complaints

| VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Liars & Scammers

(I work as a resident assistant at a small university and this happens at 2:00 am during my shift. The campus is in the middle of the woods several miles from the city, and being the middle of the night there is not a soul in sight outside the office.)

Coworker: “It’s so quiet. I’m going to fall asleep if I don’t do something! How about I order us some sandwiches from [local, late night Sandwich Shop]?”

Me: “I’m not hungry, but feel free to get yourself something.”

(She orders her food, and ten minutes later goes to meet the delivery driver who pulls up right next to our office, despite it being difficult to find on the private campus roads.)

Coworker: *storming back into the office* “I cannot believe him! That was totally unacceptable!”

Me: “Oh, my goodness, are you all right? What happened?”

Coworker: “The nerve of him! He expected me to walk off the sidewalk and go to the driver’s window to pay him! I can’t believe it!”

Me: “…I don’t understand.”

Coworker: “Neither do I! How dare he expect me to walk into the middle of the road where I could be hit by traffic! He should have gotten out and come to me!”

Me: “Are you serious? What traffic? It’s a private road and his car is the only one we’ve seen in the last two hours. He even parked right next to a crosswalk for you!”

Coworker: “He could have gotten me KILLED!! I’m calling to complain about him!”

(Despite my protests she called the shop, and gave a very dramatic account of how she “could have died” by being asked to step out in “heavy traffic,” and even made up that he nearly hit her with his car! Ten minutes later the SAME DRIVER is sent back to give her a free cookie and a refund.)

Coworker: *walking back in with a smug look on her face and waving her returned $3.00* “See? It pays to complain! I hope they fire him!”

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