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Category: Liars & Scammers

Ever come across a customer that has made you want to call the police? These ones pretty much ensure it. It goes way beyond the realms of shoplifting or threatening behavior. Some of these customers are too stupid even for those…

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A Hot Slice Of Justice, Part 2

| Waterbury, CT, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Popular

(I work at a pizza place that has a delivery service that prides themselves on having your food to you in under an hour. When I enter an order in the computer, I need to click pickup or delivery because the computer charges a fee for delivery orders.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Restaurant] tonight! Will this be pickup or delivery?”

Customer: “I want two large [expensive pizzas].”

Me: “Certainly, will that be pickup or delivery?”

Customer: “I also want a medium all cheese with onions and half olives.”

Me: “Sure, will this be pickup or delivery?”

Customer: “I also want a garden salad with extra tomatoes.”

Me: “Sir, I need to know if you’d like pickup or delivery?”

Customer: “Can you read back my order?”

Me: Sure, did you want this for pickup or delivery? Two large [expensive pizzas]. One medium all cheese with onions and half olives. And one garden salad with extra tomatoes. It’ll be $53.50 for pickup, or $55.50 for delivery. Which would you like?”

Customer: “Perfect! This is John Smith, see you soon!” *hangs up*

Me: *sighs*

Coworker: “John Smith?”

Me: “Yeah…”

Coworker: “Today is Friday, it’s 4:30. He does this every week. He wants delivery, 123 Main Street. He refuses to tell us every time he orders because he can call and scream at us when it’s not delivered on time, and the manager will give him the order free ‘for the trouble.’”

Me: “Wow, thanks!”

Coworker: “No problem, I hate that a**-hole.”

(The order got to John Smith with time to spare. He had to pay, and had no reason to call and complain. Next Friday at 4:30, he didn’t call.)

Related:

A Hot Slice Of Justice

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Dispatched With Relative(s) Ease

| CO, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Popular

(I work in a family restaurant. The family is an elderly couple who pass their restaurant onto their two children, a brother and sister.)

Customer: “I’m [Male Owner]’s brother, and he always gives me a discount.”

Me: *seeing red flags* “Oh, okay. What’s your name?”

Customer: “Ryan.”

Me: “Okay, he’s actually here right now. I’ll let him know you’re here.”

Customer: *practically jumping out of his chair* “NO, don’t do that! It’s busy. I don’t want to bother him.”

Me: “Don’t be silly! We only have a few tables. He’d be mad if I didn’t tell him you were here. Plus, you’re family. He can set aside a few minutes. I’ll have him come out here, and I’ll let him know you want a discount, too.”

(I walk away, but instead of walking to the back, I walk right to the hostess stand and wait. I watch them as they get up, get their coats, and begin to leave, avoiding eye contact with me.)

Me: *with a patronizing half-smile* “Have a good night.”

Calling Out Their Stupidity

| NY, USA | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Popular

(I’ve been working at a gas station for about seven months, mostly on third shifts. I do, however, occasionally get scheduled for morning or afternoon shifts when someone needs me to cover.)

Me: “All right, your total comes to [total].”

Customer: “You must be new. I come here all the time and it’s always [incorrect price].”

Me: “You must be stupid, because even with the coupon that I used, it’s [actual price].”

Customer: “Don’t talk to me like that! Get me your manager!”

(If no manager is around, the person who’s worked there longest becomes acting manager.)

Me: “I am acting manager right now. And frankly, my boss would tell you the same thing because we put up with scammers like you all the time. Now, you either pay or leave.”