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Category: Liars & Scammers

Ever come across a customer that has made you want to call the police? These ones pretty much ensure it. It goes way beyond the realms of shoplifting or threatening behavior. Some of these customers are too stupid even for those…

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Not Much Between His Headphones

| MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Liars & Scammers

(Our policy in regards to returns without receipts is that anything over the value of $25 must have store director approval. They must also have an ID input into the system. Every store shares the same system, so when an ID is put in, we must write why and who approved it, same with if the return was denied. A male customer wearing shades walks up with his son who appears to be about six years old.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to return this. I need money for groceries.”

(He hands me a beat up box of wireless headphones. I open the box to make sure that everything’s there.)

Me: “Okay, did you have your receipt?”

Customer: “Nope.”

Me: “Okay. Did you pay with a card?”

Customer: “Uh… no.”

Me: “Okay, let me call the store director for approval.” *on the phone with store director* “Hi, I have a customer here who wants to return some headphones without the receipt. It’s priced at $56.”

Store Director: “Get his ID and put it on a gift card.”

Me: “All right, no problem.” *back to customer* “All right, I just need your ID.”

Customer: “Uh… I left it in the car. I’ll be right back.” *he leaves for a second and finds it’s in his pocket* “Oh, I guess I had it.”

(I start typing in his information and I find out he’s returned several items to different stores. He was denied at the last store he tried to return at. So I reach for the phone to call the store director back to inform her when the customer stops me.)

Customer: “Is there something wrong?”

Me: “I’m not sure yet.” *calls store director* “Hey, so, he’s returned several items in the past and the last time he returned something he was denied by Asset Protection.”

Store Director: “Oh, then decline the return. It was most likely stolen.”

Me: “All right, thank you.” *I turn to the customer* “I’m sorry, but due to what the system has informed us, we cannot process this return.”

Customer: “Why not? You already opened the box. You have to!”

Me: “I’m sorry; I had to open the box to make sure that everything was there. The store director has denied the return.”

Customer: “But, you already opened it! I can’t sell this now!”

(After he left, my coworker and I informed our asset protection department of this customer. Turned out, he was on the surveillance camera for stealing those headphones yesterday.)

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Ending His Competitive Streak

| NY, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Liars & Scammers, Popular

(I am a customer, picking up a few things for a project at home. I get my things and go to the cash registers to check out. I arrive in the middle of an argument between a cashier and a customer.)

Customer: “I don’t care what your policy is; you have to match this price!”

Cashier: “I am sorry, sir, but as I have already told you, we can’t price match unless it is the exact same product. This is [Brand #1] and that advertisement is for [Brand #2].”

Customer: “They would do this at [Competitor]!”

Cashier: *reaches into pocket of her apron, pulls out a sheet of paper, and hands it to the customer* “Well, sir, you are welcome to go to [Competitor].”

(The customer then yells in frustration and storms off. I get up to the cashier and set my things on the counter.)

Me: “What was that you just gave him?”

Cashier: “He comes in at least once a week to try some scam to get stuff for cheap or free, and I got sick of it. He almost always ends with ‘they do this at [Competitor]’ and I figured, since it is my last week here before I go back to school, I would give him directions and a map to the nearest [Competitor] store.”

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Many A Slip Twixt Cup And Scam

| TX, USA | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Popular

(I work the registers at a big box retailer. At the end of every transaction, I look down the line to make sure there aren’t any special attention items coming my way. A customer has a large stack of $1 cups in his basket the first time I look at him, but they are gone the second.)

Me: “Hello! How are you doing today? Did you find everything okay?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’m okay.”

(At this point I’ve already scanned three items, and sure enough every one of them has rung up as a cup. My favorite way to deal with shoplifters is to pretend to be completely dense, while talking loudly about their shoplifting.)

Me: “Well, that’s very strange. Somehow those last three items got the wrong label on them. Let me just take a moment and fix that.”

Customer: *looks up from his wallet* “Oh, um. That’s fine.”

(I continue to scan his order, removing every single cup label from every item.)

Me: “Boy, this is just so strange. I don’t know how this could have happened. But strange things seem to happen around here from time to time.”

Customer: “Uh… haha, yeah. I… I don’t know how that happened either.”

Me: “Well, your total comes to $245.50.”

Customer: “Hey uh, I… I left my uh, wallet in the car. I’m going to go get that.”

Me: “Okay, well, we can hold on to your order for up to 24 hours.”

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Caught Red-Painted

| USA | Home Improvement, Liars & Scammers, Popular

(I work in the paint department. We have a policy of changing the color of left-behind paint or stain after closing, since it gets marked down in price. A contractor orders several five-gallon tubs of wood stain in a natural color, but never comes to get it. I have a hunch, and dye each five-gallon a vastly different, but still usable color. Sure enough the next day he comes in, goes straight for the marked down stain, and begins loading them onto his cart before he notices the colors are all different. He angrily storms over to the desk.)

Contractor: “Why are these all different colors?”

(Knowing full well he had ordered them and left them on purpose, I smile.)

Me: “Well, when paint or stain is left over a day, we change the color so would-be thieves don’t come back the next day and try to get their paint for a fraction of the cost.”

(He sputtered at me angrily, and left in a huff with only two of the closest-matching colors he could find. The rest were bought throughout the day by other people.)

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Not Buying Into Your American Dream

| Birkenhead, England, UK | Geography, Liars & Scammers, Popular

(I used to work in a call center for an international, but UK-based retail company. The company ships worldwide; however we only have stores in Europe, UAE, and South Africa. A call comes through. A man with an American accent speaks. I do the usual, scripted greeting.)

Caller: “I’m very upset with the service I received in your New York store.”

(We don’t have a New York store.)

Me: “Oh, I am very sorry to hear that; however, we don’t hav—”

Caller: *interrupting* “I was just in there with my wife…”

(He continues on the phone for five minutes detailing every horrible thing that apparently happened to him in a store we don’t have. He was even so bold as to make up names and descriptions of staff members. He keeps mentioning that a suitable apology would be a “10% off discount and free delivery for life.” He finishes the cacophony of the apparent racial, verbal, and mental anguish he suffered by saying he’s with a staff member who can back up his claim.)

Me: *trying to stop the nonsense* “I do understand your frustration here; however, we do not have a Ne—”

(I am interrupted again as the man puts a woman on the phone, claiming she works for the store and witnessed the abuse. The woman also states she has been in contact with the head office in New York (our head office is in London) and they agreed on the discount and it was just up to customer services to sort it out for him.)

Me: “I—”

(The man returns to the phone, saying he spends a lot of money in the store and is a loyal customer. He continues, again, for a further five minutes. The call has lasted fifteen minutes and I should have ended my shift five minutes into the call. Frustrated, I interrupt the man.)

Me: “We are dreadfully sorry to hear about the service you received in our store. In order for us to sort this discount out for you, I just need you to answer one question.”

Caller: “Oh, that’s good! What do you need to know? My name is—”

Me: *interrupting* “You are aware we do not have any stores in North America?”

Caller: *click*

(If it hadn’t have been keeping me in the call centre, I would have let the call continue just to see how big of a hole this guy could dig himself into.)

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