Category: Liars & Scammers

Ever come across a customer that has made you want to call the police? These ones pretty much ensure it. It goes way beyond the realms of shoplifting or threatening behavior. Some of these customers are too stupid even for those…

I Want This Pretty Little Black(mail) Dress

| USA | Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Popular

(I fill in at a high-end resale shop owned by friends when they need someone. My roommate stops by to give me lunch and picks up a fairly expensive item her sister had ordered and paid for online. We chat for a while, and after she leaves, the only customer in the store comes up to the counter.)

Customer: “So that’s how it is, huh?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “If I give you a sandwich, do I get a free dress?”

Me: “That was already paid for.”

Customer: “Tell you what, sweetie. You give me these items for half off, and I don’t tell the store manager that you’re giving things away to your friends.”

Me: *speechless*

Customer: “Or we can just call him and have your thieving a** hauled off to jail.”

(She has a really nasty smile. Unfortunately for her, the owner is under the counter working on something and hears every word. He abruptly stands up and she jumps back a little.)

Owner: “Or how ’bout we just kick your thieving a** out of the store?”

(He was absolutely incensed and forbade her from ever coming back. I can’t believe that she jumped to the conclusion that I was giving things away and then tried to blackmail me.)

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Got The Meat-Balls To Stand Up To Him

, | USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Popular

(I work at the front desk in a government office. While at my station at the front desk, a coworker is speaking with a young man, very near me in the lobby. I can easily overhear the conversation in which the young man is describing how he likes to go through the lines at sandwich restaurants and “just for fun” say the sandwich was bad, and make them re-do his sandwich. It was a fun game for him, and sometimes he even received the “bad” sandwich too, or would even get a free sandwich “for the trouble.” As I hear him say this, I think “What an a**hole!”, but say nothing. About a week later, I go to lunch at the local sandwich shop. I find myself in line behind this young man. I don’t recognize him at first, but who he is gradually dawns on me as I watch him. He is looking right at the sandwich maker as she is putting his meatball sub together and sure enough, when he gets to the register, he says it is wrong and wants another because it has too much sauce. At that point I know what is happening and decide to call him on his game.)

Me: “Why didn’t you tell her it was wrong while she was making it?”

Customer: “I wasn’t looking.”

Me: “Yes, you were. I was watching you. You were staring at her the whole time. If you didn’t like the way she made your sandwich, you should have told her AT THE TIME.”

Customer: *getting flustered* “No, really, I wasn’t looking.”

Me: *getting adamant* “Yes, you were. I SAW YOU! You were staring at her, watching her make that sandwich the whole time. If you didn’t like the way she made your sandwich, you should have told her AT THE TIME. THAT’S WHY THEY MAKE THE SANDWICHES IN FRONT OF US!!”

Customer: *flustered* “But it’s…”

Sandwich Maker: *she doesn’t know what I know about him* “Ma’am, it’s really okay.”

Me: *to her* “NO, IT’S NOT! If he didn’t like the way the sandwich was being made” *me turning to him* “HE SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU AT THE TIME!” *back to sandwich maker* “He was looking at you the whole time!”

Sandwich Maker: *stares at me with eyes wide and slack-jawed, not knowing what to say*

(I keep laying it on him and he remains flustered while the sandwich maker’s coworkers make him another which he accepts and pays for, and then makes a quick dash out the door. The line workers and the manager are all gathered around the register and a couple staff persons are peeking out the doors to the back area and all are looking at me in awe.)

Manager: “Here. Why don’t you take this?” *holding out the “bad” meatball sub*

Me: “No, but thank you. I’m vegetarian.”

Manager: “Take it. You could give it to someone…”

Me: “But I can’t eat it. Why don’t you have it?”

Manager: “No, really, we can’t eat it. If we keep it here, it will have to be thrown away.”

Me: *while the injustice of a cow losing his life only to be thrown away flashes through my mind, I reply* “Okay, I’ll take it back to work and see if anyone wants it.”

(So I left with two sandwiches, and as it turned out, my supervisor was a devout carnivore, and even though he’d had lunch already, was very fond the meatball subs from that shop and decided to take one for the team and have two lunches! He also remembered the young man, and agreed that he was an a**-hole. I can only hope that in the future, that young man will think twice about what might be a “fun game.”)

Honesty Not Included

| UK | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Popular

(I am the customer in this story. I am posting a present to a relative in Finland.)

Post Office: “What is in the parcel?”

Me: “Children’s toy.”

Post Office: “Does it contain batteries?”

Me: “No…”

Post Office: “Okay, then that’s fine. Please pass it through the window.”

Parcel: *starts singing jaunty nursery rhyme as I accidentally hit a button whilst passing it to her*

Post Office & Me: *avoid eye contact and pretend we heard nothing*

Won’t Be Seeing You

| IA, USA | Bad Behavior, Liars & Scammers, Popular

(I work at a concession stand in my school. A person walks in that I’ve never seen before.)

Customer: “Hey, I’m blind; what do you sell? You’ll have to read it off to me.”

Me: “Oh, okay. Well, we sell hot dogs, nachos, assorted sodas, and candy.”

Customer: “All right. I’ll take one of those hot dogs, and I see you sell pizza. Why’d you leave that out?”

Me: *I left it out because we ran out but I’m confused because he saw it* “Um, we don’t have anymore… I’m sorry, but did you say you SAW it?”

Customer: “Doubting a customer? How rude to treat me! I’m bringing my business elsewhere!”

Me: *to coworker* “This is why I can’t with people sometimes.”

Customer: “What was that? I heard that? Do I need to get a manager involved?”

Manager: *heard the whole thing* “Sir, I think you should, in fact, take your business elsewhere.”

Customer: “Fine! This isn’t the last you’ve seen of me!”

(We haven’t seen him since.)

Horror Movie

| AZ, USA | Liars & Scammers, Movies & TV, Popular

(I’m working in the video department at an entertainment store. My responsibilities include checking-in and shelving DVDs, and sending warning letters when a customer’s account balance has so many late fees that their account is being sent to collections.)

Me: *answers phone with store greeting*

Caller: “You crook!”

Me: “Pardon?”

Caller: “I got this letter saying I stole some movies! How dare you accuse me? You’re all thieves!”

Me: *manages to extract her name so I can pull up her account* “Well, ma’am, it looks like you rented out [Movie #1] and [Movie #2] on [Date]. If you return them, the block will be removed and your account will not be sent to collections.”

Caller: “I bought those movies! You’re a f****** liar! You’re going to f****** ruin my credit!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but those movies are still popular releases and we haven’t marked any for used sale yet. My system says specifically that they were rented.”

Caller: “You’re just trying to swindle me!”

Me: “Ma’am, new copies of these movies sell for $25 and we have never sold a used copy of either. You paid $6 to rent both.”

(The caller goes into an insane rage. She threatens to beat me up, kidnap me, throw acid in my face, and burn my store down. In the background you can hear her husband desperately trying to get her to calm down and hang up.)

Me: *hangs up*

(Twenty minutes later a man walked in and silently dropped the two movies into the slot.)

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