Category: Liars & Scammers

Ever come across a customer that has made you want to call the police? These ones pretty much ensure it. It goes way beyond the realms of shoplifting or threatening behavior. Some of these customers are too stupid even for those…


That Scam Back-Tired

| USA | Liars & Scammers, Money, Popular, Transportation

(The phone rings.)

Me: “[Tire Shop].”

Customer: “I’m looking for a price on 10 ply [Brand] mud tires for my truck.”

Me: “Certainly, let me look at the computer and see what the price is on those… Looks like the price is [price] each.”

Customer: “No, that’s too high. I can get them somewhere else for [impossibly low price below wholesale].”

Me: “Well, in that case I’d get them for that price, because I can’t even get them for that price.”

Customer: *stammers, then is suddenly angry* “Uh… ah… are you calling me a liar?”

Me: “Huh, what?”

Customer: “Are you calling me a liar?”

Me: “Not at all, I’m just saying that wherever you found them for [low price] sounds like a good deal because that’s below what I could possibly get them for. Where did you even find them for that price? I might want to get some at that price, provided they’re not used or stolen.”

Customer: *click*


Don’t Double Your In-Tray

| TX, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

(It is near closing time. There are only two customers in the store and both came in at the same time and are waiting on orders. Their food comes up at the same time so I put it on separate trays and take it out. Customer #2 is in the restroom but Customer #1 comes to retrieve food and asks for sauce, requiring me to put down the other tray. When I turn back around Customer #1 has begun to move all of the food onto one tray.)

Me: “I’m sorry, that’s not your order. Only the food on the tray I handed you was with your order.”

(Customer #1 ignores me. By this point Customer #2 has come out of the restroom and sat down at a table close to the counter.)

Me: “Are you and the other customer eating together?”

(Customer #1 barely nods and takes food to the farthest table in the restaurant. When Customer #1 sits down Customer #2 comes up to the counter.)

Customer #2: “How much longer till my food is ready?”

Me: “Are you not with her?” *pointing to Customer #1*

Customer #2: “Um… no.”

Me: “One second.”

(I told my team leader what had happened and the food was remade. Customer #2 took his food back to the table he was sitting at and the two customers never interacted. From that point on, everyone on the night shift was very careful to only take out one order at a time.)


A Hot Slice Of Justice, Part 2

| Waterbury, CT, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Popular

(I work at a pizza place that has a delivery service that prides themselves on having your food to you in under an hour. When I enter an order in the computer, I need to click pickup or delivery because the computer charges a fee for delivery orders.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Restaurant] tonight! Will this be pickup or delivery?”

Customer: “I want two large [expensive pizzas].”

Me: “Certainly, will that be pickup or delivery?”

Customer: “I also want a medium all cheese with onions and half olives.”

Me: “Sure, will this be pickup or delivery?”

Customer: “I also want a garden salad with extra tomatoes.”

Me: “Sir, I need to know if you’d like pickup or delivery?”

Customer: “Can you read back my order?”

Me: Sure, did you want this for pickup or delivery? Two large [expensive pizzas]. One medium all cheese with onions and half olives. And one garden salad with extra tomatoes. It’ll be $53.50 for pickup, or $55.50 for delivery. Which would you like?”

Customer: “Perfect! This is John Smith, see you soon!” *hangs up*

Me: *sighs*

Coworker: “John Smith?”

Me: “Yeah…”

Coworker: “Today is Friday, it’s 4:30. He does this every week. He wants delivery, 123 Main Street. He refuses to tell us every time he orders because he can call and scream at us when it’s not delivered on time, and the manager will give him the order free ‘for the trouble.’”

Me: “Wow, thanks!”

Coworker: “No problem, I hate that a**-hole.”

(The order got to John Smith with time to spare. He had to pay, and had no reason to call and complain. Next Friday at 4:30, he didn’t call.)

A Hot Slice Of Justice


Dispatched With Relative(s) Ease

| CO, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Popular

(I work in a family restaurant. The family is an elderly couple who pass their restaurant onto their two children, a brother and sister.)

Customer: “I’m [Male Owner]’s brother, and he always gives me a discount.”

Me: *seeing red flags* “Oh, okay. What’s your name?”

Customer: “Ryan.”

Me: “Okay, he’s actually here right now. I’ll let him know you’re here.”

Customer: *practically jumping out of his chair* “NO, don’t do that! It’s busy. I don’t want to bother him.”

Me: “Don’t be silly! We only have a few tables. He’d be mad if I didn’t tell him you were here. Plus, you’re family. He can set aside a few minutes. I’ll have him come out here, and I’ll let him know you want a discount, too.”

(I walk away, but instead of walking to the back, I walk right to the hostess stand and wait. I watch them as they get up, get their coats, and begin to leave, avoiding eye contact with me.)

Me: *with a patronizing half-smile* “Have a good night.”

Calling Out Their Stupidity

| NY, USA | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Popular

(I’ve been working at a gas station for about seven months, mostly on third shifts. I do, however, occasionally get scheduled for morning or afternoon shifts when someone needs me to cover.)

Me: “All right, your total comes to [total].”

Customer: “You must be new. I come here all the time and it’s always [incorrect price].”

Me: “You must be stupid, because even with the coupon that I used, it’s [actual price].”

Customer: “Don’t talk to me like that! Get me your manager!”

(If no manager is around, the person who’s worked there longest becomes acting manager.)

Me: “I am acting manager right now. And frankly, my boss would tell you the same thing because we put up with scammers like you all the time. Now, you either pay or leave.”

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