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Category: Liars & Scammers

Ever come across a customer that has made you want to call the police? These ones pretty much ensure it. It goes way beyond the realms of shoplifting or threatening behavior. Some of these customers are too stupid even for those…

Should Have Checked Before

| Yorba Linda, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Money

(Working as a cashier at a teen clothing store on a busy night.)

Customer: *hands me a check to pay for her clothes*

Me: *inspecting the check* “I’m sorry, I can’t accept this check.”

Customer: *already becoming angry* “And why not?”

Me: “Your address and the bank address are not on the check.”

Customer: “So?”

Me: “There is no way for me to verify that this check is linked to your account. It’s like a credit card, we need to be able to check your ID to the check to make sure it’s yours.”

Customer: “But is mine. I got it from the bank.”

Me: “I understand that, but there is no way for ME to know. Policy is that I need to check your ID against the name and address on the check, and the bank address needs to be present.”

Customer: *starts yelling* “What do you mean? I’ve got $100 worth of clothes here. I’m a paying customer!”

Me: “I understand. Do you have another form of payment you can use?”

Customer: “Another form of payment? No! I just gave you my form of payment! Get me your manager!”

Me: *using the headset to ask for a manager while she continues yelling at me*

Manager: “I’m sorry, but we can’t accept this check.”

Customer: “Why? It’s mine.”

Manager: “How can I tell?

Customer: “Because I gave it to you.”

Manager: “But how can I tell you aren’t giving me someone else’s check? There is no name anywhere. If you look at this sign right here, you’ll see that this is a form of payment we can’t accept. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “I’m standing here giving it to you. It’s money! Take my money! This is ridiculous!”

Manager: “No, YOU’RE being ridiculous. If you’re going to stand here and yell at me because I won’t take a clearly fraudulent check, you can take your business elsewhere.”

Customer: “FINE.” *takes her fake check and leaves*

Manager: *looks at me, shrugs, laughs, and goes about his business*

Wanted Proof But Got Overproof

| USA | Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Transportation

(I work at a chain shipping store. One of my coworkers is helping an older woman who wants to ship a package to a friend. She has a box that is inside a plastic bag.)

Coworker: “Ma’am, is there anything breakable in your package?”

Older Woman: “Yes. It probably needs to be bubble wrapped but you can just bubble wrap the box.”

Coworker: “Okay, that’s not a problem! Can I just take the box out of the bag to make sure the item isn’t moving around inside the box?”

Older Woman: “Sure, that’s not a problem.”

(My coworker takes the box out of the bag and notices that the box says that it contains a bottle of Crown Royal. In our state you cannot ship hard liquor without a number of serious licenses.)

Coworker: “Ma’am, what’s inside this box?”

Older Woman: “Shampoo.”

Coworker: “Ma’am, are you sure?”

Older Woman: “Yes, it’s just shampoo.”

Coworker: “Ma’am, do you mind if I check to make sure its just shampoo?”

Older Woman: “Sure, that’s not a problem.”

(My coworker opens the box and pulls out a full bottle of Crown Royal.)

Coworker: “Ma’am, this is a bottle of Crown Royal. You can’t ship this. It’s against the law.”

Older Woman: “No. It’s shampoo!”

Coworker: “Ma’am, this ‘shampoo’ is 80 proof.”

(The older woman grabs the Crown Royal from my coworker and quickly exits the store.)

Coworker: *to me* “I want that kind of shampoo!”

Not Yelping His Cause

| CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers

(In self-storage, a tenant is required to give notice BEFORE their due date. Every summer we get the students who store dorm stuff while they go back home.)

Tenant: “Hi, I’m closing out my storage today.”

Me: “Oh, let me pull you up… Did you schedule your move out?”

Tenant: “Uh… no.”

Me: “I’m afraid you’re eight days past your due date, and your automatic payment went through on your due date.”

(We specifically tell new tenants that they have to give notice, and if the payment is made there are absolutely no refunds… It’s printed in block letters on the lease they sign!)

Tenant: *now very upset* “Well, if you don’t refund my money RIGHT NOW, I’ll go on Yelp and give you a one-star review!”

Me: “Huh, see that bank of video feeds above me?” *points at our security system* “Well, they also record sound. What you just threatened is actually called EXTORTION. Would you like to call the police, or shall I do it for you?”

Tenant: “Uh… uh… I was just kidding, man…” *laughs nervously* “Everything’s okay; I’ll be leaving now!”

(Our camera system doesn’t record audio, and we got a five-star review from the kid!)