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Category: Liars & Scammers

Ever come across a customer that has made you want to call the police? These ones pretty much ensure it. It goes way beyond the realms of shoplifting or threatening behavior. Some of these customers are too stupid even for those…

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Scammers Never Take A Holiday

| VA, USA | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers

Customer: “Hi, can I get [Popular Holiday Beverage]?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, that’s only available during the holiday season. Can I get you something else?”

Customer: “Well, since you’re out of what I want, can I get some of those free drink coupons you give out?”

Me: “No, sir, literally no one has [Popular Holiday Beverage] right now. It’s April.”

Customer: *scanning menu board* “What about [Item he thinks sounds obscure]?”

Me: “It’s available in half pounds right here, sir.”

Customer: “Oh, no, I don’t want that. I just hoped you’d give me some coupons ’cause you probably didn’t have it.”

(After he leaves:)

Coworker: “That’s like ordering a pony at McDonald’s, and demanding free stuff because they don’t have it. What the h***?”

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It’s All In The Delivery

| Seattle, WA, USA | Liars & Scammers, Popular

(I work for the call center in high end department store. Our protocol for when customers claim to not have received a package that their tracking shows as delivered is to replace it unless the customer has history on their profile less than six months ago, in which case further research must be conducted.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]; my name is [My Name]. How can I help?”

Customer: “Yeah, I didn’t get my package.”

Me: “All right, let me pull up the order.”

(I pull it up and check the tracking that shows it having been delivered.)

Me: “Yes, I see that it shows delivered on [date], but you never received it?”

Customer: “Nope.”

Me: “All right, let me take a look. I’m going to put you on a brief hold.”

(While she’s on hold I check her profile. There’s a similar incident on her profile four days ago. And two weeks ago. And a month ago. This is usually indicative of a potential fraud.)

Me: “Thank you for holding. It looks like you’ve been having quite a few delivery issues!”

Customer: “Um… yeah.”

Me: “Well, we definitely want to figure out what’s going on so I’m going to pass this along to our delivery research team so we can fix the problem.”

Customer: “Um, no, that won’t be necessary.”

Me: “Oh, no, we insist.”

Customer: *click*

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I Want This Pretty Little Black(mail) Dress

| USA | Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Popular

(I fill in at a high-end resale shop owned by friends when they need someone. My roommate stops by to give me lunch and picks up a fairly expensive item her sister had ordered and paid for online. We chat for a while, and after she leaves, the only customer in the store comes up to the counter.)

Customer: “So that’s how it is, huh?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “If I give you a sandwich, do I get a free dress?”

Me: “That was already paid for.”

Customer: “Tell you what, sweetie. You give me these items for half off, and I don’t tell the store manager that you’re giving things away to your friends.”

Me: *speechless*

Customer: “Or we can just call him and have your thieving a** hauled off to jail.”

(She has a really nasty smile. Unfortunately for her, the owner is under the counter working on something and hears every word. He abruptly stands up and she jumps back a little.)

Owner: “Or how ’bout we just kick your thieving a** out of the store?”

(He was absolutely incensed and forbade her from ever coming back. I can’t believe that she jumped to the conclusion that I was giving things away and then tried to blackmail me.)

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