Category: Liars & Scammers

Ever come across a customer that has made you want to call the police? These ones pretty much ensure it. It goes way beyond the realms of shoplifting or threatening behavior. Some of these customers are too stupid even for those…

This Is How Diabetes Works, So Okay!

| UK | Health & Body, Liars & Scammers

(I am serving two women who have come into the restaurant for lunch. I am taking their order.)

Customer: “Yes, and could you be extra careful with my meal? I’m diabetic, you see.”

Me: “Of course. Just to let you know, we do offer diabetic friendly meals. They had a ‘D’ next to them on the menu—”

Customer: “Yes, thank you. I think I know a little more about diabetes than an idiot-child like yourself who’s probably just left school.”

Me: “Actually, I’m at university, but the reason I say this to you is because I myself suffer from diabetes, and in fact fought for the identification you see on the menu.”

Customer: “You’re diabetic?”

Me: “Yes, miss.”

Customer: “Oh, well. Thank you.”

(She says nothing else so I head for the kitchen; however, I look back before I actually go in and notice the woman dragging her friend out of the door. I don’t understand what happened but ultimately forget about it until a couple of hours later, when her friend comes back in.)

Friend: “Hi, sorry. I’m not sure if you remember me. I was in before with my friend who said she was—” *with air quotes* “—diabetic?”

Me: “Yes, I remember. I saw you leave. I hope it wasn’t anything I said.”

Friend: “Oh, no. It’s just, and I don’t know how to say this kindly: my friend isn’t diabetic.”

Me: “Really?”

Friend: “Yes, she just admitted it. I’ve spent the last month panicking whenever she took a tumble, ‘cause she said ‘attacks’ were common with diabetes. She’s been lying this whole time for special attention. I think she panicked when you said you were, too, and had to come clean.”

Me: “I see.”

Friend: “I’m so sorry.”

Me: “No, it’s all right. It’s just, wow…”

Friend: “She kept saying she had the ‘bad’ kind whenever I asked. I know there’s different kinds, but I didn’t understand what she meant.”

Me: “I don’t know either. There are two kinds, Type 1 and 2, but both have advantages over the other. I have Type 2 and it’s diet controlled, so my body produces insulin, just not enough. I can’t eat anything I want because it would put my glucose up too high for too long. Type 1 is where your body destroys the part of you that makes insulin, so it needs to be delivered a different way, usually injections. Technically you can eat anything you want, as long as you counter it. The drawback is that if it isn’t properly controlled, the damage can be more severe. You’re also more at risk of attacks like your friend said, where your glucose drops below what is needed to function, so you shut down. I’m not at risk of that because I only use the insulin my body makes.”

Friend: *going pale* “Oh, my god. That sounds really serious.”

Me: “It is, but easily manageable. People used to die from it, but now millions of diabetics live normal lives.”

Friend: “I just can’t understand why she would lie like this, with something like that! And I’m so stupid; I just believed her.”

Me: “You aren’t stupid. A lot of people don’t take the time to understand it so there’s a lot of ignorance.”

Friend: “Oh, thank you, and again, I’m sorry. I felt you deserved to know.”

(She left, but I was a bit shaken by the revelation. It was the first time I had ever encountered someone who lied about having diabetes, and hopefully my last.)

Not How Diabetes Works But Okay

These Customers Come At All Hours

| FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Liars & Scammers, Time

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’ve been waiting for over an hour! Where’s my pizza?”

Me: “It’s on its way, sir.”

Customer: “Well, what are you going to do about it?”

Me: “About what, sir?”

Customer: “I’ve been waiting for over an hour!”

Me: “We won’t be doing anything. There’s no way you’ve waited that long.”


Me: “No, sir, just mistaken.”

Customer: “And why’s that?!”

Me: “It’s 11:20, sir—”

Customer: “So?!”

Me: “We open at 10:30.”

Customer: *click*

Got Your Scam Tagged

| Norway | Liars & Scammers, Money

(I’m working at a local thrift shop and I am going about my business in the store when a customer comes up to me with a sweater.)

Customer: “How much is this sweater? The tag is gone!”

(I at once suspect she tore off the tag since it’s happened before and I hung out that sweater just a couple of hours ago with the tag still intact.)

Me: “That’s about $15.” *I know it’s really $10*

Customer: “NO! IT’S F****** NOT! It’s $10!”

Me: *grins* “Oh? How do you know this? The tag is gone, remember?”

(The customer ran out the door shouting obscenities towards me and I never saw her again.)

A Secure Solution

| Seattle, WA, USA | Liars & Scammers

Guest: “I want to return this.”

Me: “No problem; do you have your receipt or card with you?”

Guest: “Nope.”

Me: “Well, I can still return with a driver’s license and give you the value of the item on a gift card.”

Guest: “That’d be great.”

(I process the return, and hand the receipt and gift card to guest. Five minutes later the same guest comes back.)

Guest: “You didn’t give me my gift card.”

Me: “Really? I’m pretty sure I did; I’ll check.”

(I check.)

Me: “Sorry, I don’t have it up here; I’m sure I gave it to you.”

Guest: “You definitely didn’t; I can’t find it.”

(Security walks up and asks the guest what the problem is. He then goes back to his office and looks at the camera, and then returns.)

Security: “I could clearly see he gave the gift card to you.”

Guest: “Found it.”

(Amazing that as soon as security got involved it suddenly appeared!)

Floored By This Behavior

| USA | Liars & Scammers, Wild & Unruly

(I have arrived at a customer’s home for an installation.)

Me: “Hi, I’m [My Name] with [Company], and—”

Customer: *interrupts me* “Take your shoes off!”

Me: “I’m sorry, due to OSHA regulations I have to leave them on, but I do have shoe covers I wear to protect your flooring.”

Customer: *sighs* “I guess that will work. Come in.”

Me: “May I see your television?”

Customer: “My son is asleep in there right now, so no.”

Me: “Oh, is this a bad time? We can always reschedule.”

Customer: “No! I want it done today!” *sighs* “I guess I’ll wake him up!”

(The son is around 19 years old and it’s 10 in the morning.)

Customer: *as I’m looking behind TV sets, hands a rag down* “I need you to dust while you are back there.”

(I pretend not to hear her and go about my inspection.)

Me: “I need to grab some things from my truck; I’ll be right back.”

Customer: *runs outside screaming* “You’ve scratched my floor! You’re going to have to pay for it! I want you off my property now!”

Me: *stunned at this point* “Ma’am, I can assure you I did not scratch your floor—”


Me: “Ma’am, I would be happy to leave, but my equipment and tools are inside and I’ll need them before I go.”

Customer: “That’s it! I’m calling the cops!”

Me: “That’s fine. You’ll be arrested for theft of my tools and equipment.”

(I pulled my vehicle to the street and waited for the police to arrive. They retrieved my stuff for me and told me she had tried to pull the same stunt with the local phone, electric, and Internet companies.)

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