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Category: Language & Words

This category features customers whose mishandling of vocabulary and grammar are so bad that we literally have no words to describe them!

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The Sauce Of Your Confusion

| USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words, Popular

(Unfortunately, I am the stupid customer in this story while dining with my family.)

Waitress: “May I take your order?”

Me: “Yes! May I please have the grouper fish sandwich? But instead of tartar sauce, may I have broccoli?”

Waitress: *pauses* “I’m sorry, what was that last part?”

Me: “Can I substitute the tartar sauce for broccoli with my sandwich?”

Waitress: “You… uh… did you want the broccoli, like, on the sandwich?”

Me: “What? No. I just want broccoli instead of the tartar sauce.”

Waitress: *clearly confused* “Um… well…”

Sister: *laughing* “[My Name], are you confusing tartar sauce with coleslaw?”

Me: *turning a deep shade of red* “Oh, my God… What did I say?”

Waitress: “I thought I was the one going crazy!”

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The Concert Was For ‘Lady Georgia-Georgia’

, | Language & Words

(A customer has reached our call center to ask for more information about his tickets. Often, seating designations may be abbreviated on the tickets we mail out, and, in this case, the abbreviation is similar to another state’s two-letter postal abbreviation.)

Customer: “I have a question on my tickets. I can’t find the Georgia Standing area on the map.

Me: “I’m sorry; I’m not familiar with the Georgia Standing area. Is that how it’s written on your tickets?”

Customer: “Yeah, it says ‘GA STANDING.’”

(Now whenever our concerts have a General Admission Standing area, we all call it Georgia Standing!)

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Holy Moly Ravioli!

| USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words

(I am a waiter at an Italian restaurant. I am serving two men and this happens…)

Man #1: “Your mushroom ravioli… Let me guess, the mushrooms are chopped up real fine…”

Man #2: “Tucked into a perfect pasta pocket…”

Man #1: “Dropped into lightly salted boiling water…”

Man #2: “Then finally encapsulated in a blanket of olive oil and herbs…”

Man #1: “Ready to feel the piercings of the fork…”

Man #2: “The mushrooms, the pasta, the herbs, that grated Parmesan, and freshly cracked black pepper. Oh, the explosion of flavor!”

Me: “So… two mushroom raviolis?”