icon_languagewords

Category: Language & Words

This category features customers whose mishandling of vocabulary and grammar are so bad that we literally have no words to describe them!

A Mixed Bag

| USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Language & Words

Coworker: “Paper or plastic?”

Customer: I don’t care. I’m bi. I like it both ways.”

So Pho, So Crazy, Part 4

| NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Language & Words

(I am half Vietnamese and look somewhat ethnically ambiguous.)

Customer: “Are you Japanese?”

Me: “No, Vietnamese.”

Customer: “Really? Are you sure?”

(Later, another customer runs into the store, heads directly for one of our Buddha statues, and rubs its belly. She is about to dash off again when she sees me looking in her direction.)

Customer: “I’m sorry! Every time I see a Buddha I just have to touch it. But you must understand. You have the look of the Buddha about you.”

(A third customer comes in and asks about the meaning of some Chinese characters on a teapot. Having taken some Chinese in school, and, more relevantly, having read the product description recently, I manage to tell her the meaning of a couple.)

Customer: “Are you Chinese?”

Me: “No, Vietnamese, but I took a bit of Chinese in school.”

Customer: “Really? But isn’t that shaming your family or something?”

Related:
So Pho, So Crazy, Part 3
So Pho, So Crazy, Part 2
So Pho, So Crazy

A Welcome Change

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Bad Behavior, Language & Words, Top

(I’ve been a nurse for a long time. There have been a few patients over the years that think nurses are slaves and never say please or thank you.)

Patient: “Turn the TV on.”

Me: *turns TV on*

Patient: “Get me a glass of water!”

Me: *hands him a glass of water*

Patient’s Relative: “Pass the tissues over.”

Me: *passes the box of tissue over to the relative*

(This had been going on all day with never a please or thank you. I have had enough so I say:)

Me: “You’re welcome!”

Patient: “Pardon. What was that?”

Me: *acting surprised* “I said ‘you’re welcome.’ I thought I heard you say ‘thank you.’ My mistake. Sorry.”

(The manners improved substantially after that! I’ve only had to say it three or four times in 30 years, but it’s always worked!)