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Category: Language & Words

This category features customers whose mishandling of vocabulary and grammar are so bad that we literally have no words to describe them!

This Is Not What A Feminist Looks Like

| Dayton, OH, USA | Bizarre, Books & Reading, Language & Words, Politics

(A woman approaches me at the counter, looking over her shoulder as if she is looking out for someone.)

Me: “Can I… help you, ma’am?”

Woman: “Yes, um, I was wondering if you had any books about…” *drops her voice to an urgent whisper* “… the ‘F’ word.”

Me: “Well, um, we have the ‘Kama Sutra’ in our world cultures section and our romance novel and erotica are—”

Woman: “No, no! The other ‘F’-word.”

Me: *thoroughly confused* “I’m afraid I’m not following ,ma’am…”

Woman: “The ‘F’-word, you know!”

Me: “Really, ma’am, I don’t. Would you like to write it down for me to—”

Woman: “FOR CHRIST’S SAKE! FEMINISM! I’m looking for a book on feminism! Now the whole store knows my business! THANK YOU!”

(She proceeds to quickly flee the store, apologizing to other patrons as she leaves.)

Next Customer: “Is she going to be all right?”

Me: “I certainly hope so.”

Welsh Excuse Me

| Wales, UK | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Language & Words, Tourists/Travel

Customer: “WHY ARE ALL YOUR TOWN NAMES STUPID? CAN’T YOU SPELL?!”

Me: “Sir, please don’t shout. The town names around here are in Welsh, because you’re in Wales. I’m sorry if this offends you.”

Customer: “It’s not just offensive. It’s f***ing stupid!”

Me: “Sir, please don’t swear. The town names are part of our unique history. They tell us about our heritage.

Customer: Well your heritage f***ing sucks.

Me: Sir, can I actually help you with anything, or did you just come here to tell us that you don’t like Wales?

Customer: You all need to be more English. *leaves*

Coworker: Well… at least you didn’t need to ask him to leave!

Must Be On A Naughty Diet

, | MI, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Language & Words

(I’ve just started a job at a certain Canadian coffee shop franchise. It’s my first job, and I’m still learning how to deal with people and learning the items we sell.)

Customer: “I’d like a naughty donut, please.”

Me: *pause* “What kind of donut?”

Customer: “A naughty donut.”

(I entered in ‘assorted donut’ and he pays. My coworker comes up and reads the screen, going over to the donut section.)

Coworker: “Hi, sir, what type of donut did you want?”

Customer: “A naughty one.”

Coworker: “Um… what kind?”

Customer: *points* “A Peanut Crunch.”

Me: “Oh, a NUTTY donut!”