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Category: Language & Words

This category features customers whose mishandling of vocabulary and grammar are so bad that we literally have no words to describe them!

Sexy Money

| Sweden | At The Checkout, Language & Words, Money, Rude & Risque

(The Swedish word for the number six is ‘sex.’ The cashier is just about to charge an elderly couple for their groceries.)

Cashier: “That’s 106 kronor.”

(The old man hands him a 100 kronor bill.)

Cashier: “I need six kronor more.”

Old Man: *to cashier* “What did you say?”

Old Woman: “He said he wanted sex.”

Cashier: *getting red but trying to smile* “Six kronor more.”

Old Man: “What?”

Old Woman: *loudly* “He said he wants sex!”

(Both the queue behind them and the queue for the other register go silent and stare.)

Cashier: *loudly* “Kronor!”

Old Man: *loudly* “Speak up woman!”

Old Woman: *almost screaming* “THE CASHIER WANTS SEX FROM YOU!”

Cashier: *screaming* “SIX KRONOR!”

Worth Its Weight In Golden

| Exeter, England, UK | Funny Names, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(A rather frazzled looking customer rushes in and comes straight over to the counter.)

Me: “Hi! How can I help?”

Customer: “Hi, I’d like 12.5g of golden virginity please…”

(Pause.)

Me: “I’m sorry, love, there are some things we just can’t give back.”

Customer: “Oh my goodness, Virginia! I meant golden Virginia!”

You Haven’t Seen Anything Yette

| USA | Extra Stupid, Language & Words

(I help a mother find a dress for her daughter for a special occasion. It is really busy since it is prom season but we are able to find a dress. She is a bit demanding, but we try to accommodate as much as we can. Before deciding, we are talking about possibilities for alterations.)

Customer: “So the dress will be finished by then, RIGHT?”

Me: “Yes, I assure that it will all be fixed by then.”

Customer: “It better be since I’m paying all of this money for one dress.”

Me: “Well, if you prefer, there is another place that does alterations right around the corner. If you want, we can leave the dress on hold so you can check to see if their prices are within your price range.”

Customer: “No, I don’t want to. It’s such a hassle.”

Me: “All right, then.”

(My coworker turns to me for help.)

Coworker: “How do you spell ‘corset?'”

Me: “C-O-R-S-E-T.”

Customer: “…T-E! It is spelled; C-O-R-S-E-T-T-E.”

Me: *sighs with an awkward smile*