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Category: Language & Words

This category features customers whose mishandling of vocabulary and grammar are so bad that we literally have no words to describe them!

Say Sayonara To Intelligence

| Miami, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Geography, Language & Words

(I work at a Japanese restaurant and yes, I am Asian. There is a family of four sitting at a table.)

Me: “Good evening, everyone. Can I start you guys off with anything?”

Customer: “Where are you from?”

Me: “I am from Taiwan.”

Customer: “Oh, wow! My son is taking Japanese in school. Do you speak Japanese?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry.”

Customer: “That’s a shame. Can I have a California Roll?”

Accenting The Listening Problem

, | WA, USA | Bizarre, Language & Words

(I’m working in the drive-thru and taking orders. Note: I have no accent and I’m frequently complimented on how clearly I speak in the drive-thru.)

Me: “Hi would you like to try our new sandwich?”

Customer: “ENGLISH!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Oh, you do speak English.”

Me: “Yes, sir, I’ve been speaking English this entire time.”

Customer: “I thought you were speaking another language.”

Been Called All The Names In The Hundred-Acre Wood

| Jackson, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Language & Words

(I have have been called just about every name in the book. I am refusing to sell beer to a customer who is too drunk.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, you’re just too intoxicated and I can’t let you have it.”

Drunk: “I’m not driving so what the f*** is your problem, fat-a**!”

Me: “I’m sorry; can’t do it.”

Drunk: “Come on, man. I won’t tell.”

Me: *being very nice as it does really bug them when I don’t get mad* “Sorry, guy, still can’t sell.”

Drunk: *getting REALLY UPSET* “You know what you are? You’re a Pooh butt! You’re a Winnie the Pooh butt!”

(I’ve heard everything but not that, so I started laughing really hard which got him more and more upset. I told him that was the funniest thing I had ever been called and he got REALLY mad and just walked out.)