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Category: Language & Words

This category features customers whose mishandling of vocabulary and grammar are so bad that we literally have no words to describe them!

The Language Just Flows

| France | Hotels & Lodging, Language & Words

(My aunt and her family are in a hotel in France. We’re German, and she doesn’t really speak any French or English beyond a few words, just enough to get things hilariously wrong. She finds that their bathroom is missing its toilet brush (German word for brush: Bürste.) She decides to go to the reception desk to complain, only realising that she didn’t know all the English words for what she wanted to tell them.)

Aunt: “Toilet burst! Toilet burst! TOILET BURST!”

(The poor guy probably had visions of pure horror…)

Not So Nuts About The Innuendo

| Medford, MA, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(At our store, we have a rack of potato chips, peanuts, and other snacks that is a few steps away from the register. The customer puts a six-pack of beer on the counter, then steps away to grab something off the rack and comes back to the counter with some peanuts.)

Customer: “You really should put your nuts on the counter.”

Me: “I’m not sure how to respond to that.” *hoping he’d get how awkward it sounded, and laugh it off*

Customer: “I might grab them more often, if you did.”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “Yeah, they’re probably just fine right where they are.”

(I’m pretty sure this guy was just clueless about what he said and not actually hitting on me!)

The Oregon Fail, Part 3

| Germany | Language & Words, Tourists/Travel

(I am in Germany on a school trip. I have never been before, nor do I speak German. I am currently with two of my friends talking about going out to dinner on the train platform.)

(A middle-aged man hurries up to me.)

Man: “Guten tag!”

Me: “…guten tag.”

Man: *over enunciating* “Do. You. Speak. English?”

Me: “…yeah?”

Man: “Oh, thank god. Everyone’s so unhelpful around here! How do I get from [rattles off a number of places in quick succession].”

Me: “I’m sorry…”

Man: *cutting me off angrily* “I thought you said you spoke English!”

Me: “I do. I just don’t know any of those places.”

Man: “Why the h*** not?!”

Me:” I’m from Oregon…”

Related:
The Oregon Fail, Part 2
From NotAlwaysRelated:
The Oregon Fail