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Category: Language & Words

This category features customers whose mishandling of vocabulary and grammar are so bad that we literally have no words to describe them!

The Signs Of Change

| Omaha, NE, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Language & Words

Me: “Paper or plastic?”

Customer: “Paper.” *after some consideration* “No, plastic.”

(My bagger obviously doesn’t catch the change, and continues bagging in paper.)

Customer: “Excuse me!” *snaps her fingers in front of the bagger’s face* “Weren’t you listening? I want plastic! Not paper! You should be paying attention!”

(My bagger, startled, gives her a confused look and starts signing something, indicating that he’s deaf. The woman goes extremely pale.)

Customer: “Uh, thank you. Goodbye.” *she grabs her bags, still paper, and rushes out of the store*

(My bagger then slides me a note that says:)

Note: “What I said to that woman was so rude.”

Seven, Eight, Nein!

| MD, USA | Bizarre, Language & Words

(I work part time at my dad’s plumbing company, which bears our last name, doing basic office work, and learning about running a business. I’m filling out a work order for an older customer’s rental home. We live in an area with a lot of German heritage.)

Me: “And can I have your address?”

Customer: “It’s seventy-seven [Street Name].”

(I write the address down and, per usual, cross my sevens.)

Customer: “Look at your sevens. That’s a very German way of writing.”

Me: “Well, you know, as you can tell from my very German last name, we’ve got a lot of German blood.”

Customer: *leaning in and glaring* “That’s how they found the Nazis you know. They made them write stuff down and look at their sevens.”

(The customer is now quite close to my face and glaring at me.)

Me: “You don’t say…” *slowly backing up behind the service counter* “Well, I think I got everything here…”

Customer: *suddenly very chipper* “That’s great! Hope to see you soon!”

Dad: *apparently overhearing everything* “Did that guy just call us Nazis?!”

I Hail From Unenthusia

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Awesome Workers, Language & Words

(I witness the end of this conversation between a customer and my coworker. The customer sometimes comes in drinking alcohol, and my coworker is usually very sweet and polite.)

Customer: “What’s your accent?”

Coworker: “Sorry?”

Customer: “Where’s your accent from?”

Coworker: “…I’m from here. Australian.”

Customer: “Oh… You sound more American or something…”

(The customer finishes his transaction and leaves.)

Coworker: “More like my accent was unenthusiasm…”