Category: Language & Words

This category features customers whose mishandling of vocabulary and grammar are so bad that we literally have no words to describe them!

Save The Bad Vibes For The Bad Customers

| Canada | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Language & Words, Popular

(I work in a toy store at customer service. A new flyer comes out every Friday, which is the day that this call takes place.)

Me: “Good morning. [Company and Location]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I’m looking for [particular toy] in your flyer. Can you please put one on hold for me?”

Me: “If you would give me a few minutes I can confirm for you that we do have them in stock, and I will place a hold for you.”

(Puts customer on hold.)

Coworker: *to me* “We don’t have any of those; we sold out of them before the sale even started.”

Me: *picks up phone* “Hello. So, unfortunately it looks like we don’t have any of that toy in stock. Would you like me to issue you a rain check or check another store in the area to see if they have it?”

Customer: *yelling* “What the h*** is your problem? Every time I call you never have what I’m looking for!”

Me: “I’m sorry; I understand how that might be frustrating. Unfortunately, the flyers are run country-wide, so sometimes the stock in a few stores can be quite low at the time of a sale.”

Customer: “What kind of half-a**ed excuse is that? I’m not digging your vibe; give me a manager.”

Me: *holds the phone out to a manager without putting customer on hold* “Someone isn’t digging my vibe on line one. Can you please speak to her?”

Doesn’t Ad-here To The Ad

| Orlando, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Language & Words

(I work in a large retail store selling fitness equipment and tools. It is a slow midweek shift when an older gentleman walks in.)

Me: “Hello, sir, welcome to [Store]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: *has a newspaper ad in hand* “I will take one of these today!” *pointing at a treadmill*

Me: “Okay, sir, that is no problem. Let’s go over to the register and we can finish up.”

(The customer follows me over and I ring the order.)

Me: “Your total today comes to $645.32.”

Customer: “WHAT! The ad clearly lists that as $49.99!”

(The customer shoves the ad in my face.)

Me: “Sir, that price is for the rubber mat that goes beneath the machine.”

Customer: “This is absurd! You punks are scamming me and others! I will never shop here again!”

Me: “Sorry, sir. Learn how to read an ad, and have a great day!”

Sick Of This Request

| Greensboro, NC, USA | Language & Words

(I work at a mom-and-pop hardware store where we sell a little bit of everything.)

Me: “Here you go, ma’am. We have all different kinds of rat killer.”

(I show her a few different brands and styles.)

Customer: “Can you show me where y’all’s pneumonia is?”

(I give her a strange look.)

Customer: “Did I not pronounce that correct?”

Me: “Well, ma’am, you did and I can show you pneumonia, but that’s an illness so I don’t think you want that.”

Customer: “Oh, oh! I meant ammonia.”

This Job Can’t Be Blushed

| NY, USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(I work in a popular coffee shop and am attempting to put together the pump for our mocha sauce. I am grasping the longish metal pipe and am trying to get the other piece to twist in. While struggling with this, one of our regulars comes up to the counter.)

Regular: “Don’t have much experience handling something that big, do you?”

Me: *turns away from him in embarrassment*

Regular: “Oh, gosh, look how red you are.”

Me: *mumbling* “Haha, it’s just my blush.”

(He goes to sit down at a table once I’ve given him his drink. A while later, while on my break, I’m sitting down at the bar eating. On his way out he makes this final remark.)

Regular: “Looks like your blush has worn off.”

When Single Becomes Double

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Food & Drink, Language & Words, Love/Romance, Popular

(I’m working as a barista in a coffee shop. A man comes up to my counter.)

Customer: “Can I get an Americano with a single shot of espresso?”

(I send his drink into the queue and my coworker makes the drink while I continue to take orders.)

Coworker: “I got a hot Americano, single!”

Teenage Girl: *waiting for her drink* “I’ll take him!”

(The man laughed and high fived the girl before taking his coffee and leaving. My coworker and I had a good laugh about the encounter.)

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