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Category: Language & Words

This category features customers whose mishandling of vocabulary and grammar are so bad that we literally have no words to describe them!

Holla At The Girl

| Cornelius, OR, USA | Family & Kids, Language & Words

(I do not speak Spanish. A Hispanic father and young son come up to my line.)

Me: “Hello! Did you find everything all right?”

Father: *in English* “Hi. Yes, we did.” *turns to young son and says in Spanish* “Say hello.” *he says the word ‘hello’ in English*

Boy: “Hola!”

Father: *still speaking in Spanish, but says the word ‘hello’ in English* “No, say ‘hello’!”

Boy: *looks at father in confusion* “I did say Hola!”

The World’s Oldest Craft

| CA, USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(My mum and I are in a craft store buying supplies for a skirt I am making. We cannot find the hooks and eyes. We ask a worker at the store for help.)

Worker: “How may I help you?”

Mum: “We need to find hookers.”

(She just stares at us.)

Mum: *laughs uncontrollably* “I mean hooks and eyes!”

Transaction Turned Sour

Palm Desert, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Funny Names, Language & Words

(There was a certain drink offered at this coffee shop that was a tangerine juice blend that had been discontinued six months before.)

Customer: *in drive-thru* “Can I get a tangerine juice blend?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but that was discontinued six months ago. Can I interest you in a blended strawberry lemonade instead?”

Customer: “No, I wanted something with citrus.” *backs out of drive-thru*

Me: *to coworker* “…Does she realize the word citrus comes from the Latin word for the word ‘lemon’?”