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Category: Language & Words

This category features customers whose mishandling of vocabulary and grammar are so bad that we literally have no words to describe them!

You Too Too Much

| TX, USA | Bizarre, Language & Words

(This happens multiple times a day, every day, without fail: A customer hands drops off a prepaid package.)

Me: “This will go out today.”

Customer: “Thanks, you too!”

| G|ve Up

| Lincoln, NE, USA | Language & Words, Technology

(I am on a call with customer, I was trying to get her to type the “|” character:)

Customer: “Where is it?”

Me: “It’s above the enter key, with the backslash.”

Customer: “I don’t have that.”

Me: “Yes, you do; it’s above the “enter,” with the backslash.”

Customer: “Oh, you mean the brackets?”

Me: “No, it’s above the enter key, with the backslash. So it’s to the right of the brackets.”

Customer: “Do you mean my ‘L’ key? Because it’s rubbed off, so I can’t see it.”

Me: “No, it’s not the ‘L’ key. It’s above the enter key. With the backslash.”

Customer: *she finds the key* “OH, it’s a capital!”

Me: “Yes, a capital backslash.”

Customer: “It doesn’t work.”

Me: “Did you use the shift? Without that, it’s just a backslash.”

Customer: “Oh, there it is!”

Does It Look Like I Give A Thank?

| Boston, MA, USA | Family & Kids, Language & Words, Popular, Rude & Risque

(A family with two small children is sitting at a table across from me eating pizza. The father has been serving slices cut in half to the children, who look to be around three years old.)

Mother: “What do you say to daddy, sweetheart?”

Little Girl: “F*** you!”

Mother: “No, no, honey. You mean ‘Thank you!'”

Little Girl: “Fank you!”

Mother: *to me* “She’s still learning.”