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Category: Language & Words

This category features customers whose mishandling of vocabulary and grammar are so bad that we literally have no words to describe them!

Don’t Have Baggage About Types Of Baggage, Part 2

| MI, USA | At The Checkout, Language & Words, Popular

(I am a cashier at a local grocery store. This exchange happens between the customer and my bagger.)

Bagger: “Sir, would you like paper or plastic?”

Customer: “Either way works; I’m bag-sexual.”

Me: *stifled laughter*

Related:
Don’t Have Baggage About Types Of Baggage

You Too Too Much

| TX, USA | Bizarre, Language & Words

(This happens multiple times a day, every day, without fail: A customer hands drops off a prepaid package.)

Me: “This will go out today.”

Customer: “Thanks, you too!”

| G|ve Up

| Lincoln, NE, USA | Language & Words, Technology

(I am on a call with customer, I was trying to get her to type the “|” character:)

Customer: “Where is it?”

Me: “It’s above the enter key, with the backslash.”

Customer: “I don’t have that.”

Me: “Yes, you do; it’s above the “enter,” with the backslash.”

Customer: “Oh, you mean the brackets?”

Me: “No, it’s above the enter key, with the backslash. So it’s to the right of the brackets.”

Customer: “Do you mean my ‘L’ key? Because it’s rubbed off, so I can’t see it.”

Me: “No, it’s not the ‘L’ key. It’s above the enter key. With the backslash.”

Customer: *she finds the key* “OH, it’s a capital!”

Me: “Yes, a capital backslash.”

Customer: “It doesn’t work.”

Me: “Did you use the shift? Without that, it’s just a backslash.”

Customer: “Oh, there it is!”

Does It Look Like I Give A Thank?

| Boston, MA, USA | Family & Kids, Language & Words, Popular, Rude & Risque

(A family with two small children is sitting at a table across from me eating pizza. The father has been serving slices cut in half to the children, who look to be around three years old.)

Mother: “What do you say to daddy, sweetheart?”

Little Girl: “F*** you!”

Mother: “No, no, honey. You mean ‘Thank you!'”

Little Girl: “Fank you!”

Mother: *to me* “She’s still learning.”

I See Your True Colors Swearing Through

| TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Language & Words

(My coworker is hidden behind front register counter, kneeling to stock something.)

Customer: *to her friend* “I f****** hate these people. They’re never f****** ready. They’re so f****** stupid. That’s why they work here. They’re so f****** dumb.”

Coworker: *stands up, staring customer dead in the face* “Will that be all today?”

Customer: “Sorry about that. Didn’t see you there.”

Coworker: “I understand. We all show our true colors when we’re alone.”

Customer: *clearly offended, scoffs at coworker and stomps out of the store*

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