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Category: Language & Words

This category features customers whose mishandling of vocabulary and grammar are so bad that we literally have no words to describe them!

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Sick Of This Request

| Greensboro, NC, USA | Language & Words

(I work at a mom-and-pop hardware store where we sell a little bit of everything.)

Me: “Here you go, ma’am. We have all different kinds of rat killer.”

(I show her a few different brands and styles.)

Customer: “Can you show me where y’all’s pneumonia is?”

(I give her a strange look.)

Customer: “Did I not pronounce that correct?”

Me: “Well, ma’am, you did and I can show you pneumonia, but that’s an illness so I don’t think you want that.”

Customer: “Oh, oh! I meant ammonia.”

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This Job Can’t Be Blushed

| NY, USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(I work in a popular coffee shop and am attempting to put together the pump for our mocha sauce. I am grasping the longish metal pipe and am trying to get the other piece to twist in. While struggling with this, one of our regulars comes up to the counter.)

Regular: “Don’t have much experience handling something that big, do you?”

Me: *turns away from him in embarrassment*

Regular: “Oh, gosh, look how red you are.”

Me: *mumbling* “Haha, it’s just my blush.”

(He goes to sit down at a table once I’ve given him his drink. A while later, while on my break, I’m sitting down at the bar eating. On his way out he makes this final remark.)

Regular: “Looks like your blush has worn off.”

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When Single Becomes Double

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Food & Drink, Language & Words, Love/Romance, Popular

(I’m working as a barista in a coffee shop. A man comes up to my counter.)

Customer: “Can I get an Americano with a single shot of espresso?”

(I send his drink into the queue and my coworker makes the drink while I continue to take orders.)

Coworker: “I got a hot Americano, single!”

Teenage Girl: *waiting for her drink* “I’ll take him!”

(The man laughed and high fived the girl before taking his coffee and leaving. My coworker and I had a good laugh about the encounter.)