Category: Hotels & Lodging

A good hotel prides itself on providing a decent service to all its guests. But when its guests are our stupid customers, there is very little they can do to remedy the situation except pray they’re fully booked the next time they come around!

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Speedo On To The End Of The Call

| FL, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Rude & Risque

(I work the overnight shift on the front desk. One night I get a call from an older gentleman that I, unfortunately, won’t soon forget.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Hotel]. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “I’m thinking of making a reservation at your bed and breakfast but had a few questions.”

Me: “I’ll be more than happy to answer any questions you may have, sir.”

Caller: “My wife and I travel a lot and we often stay at bed and breakfasts and I know that some have shared bathrooms. Is this the case for yours?”

Me: *thinking nothing of this as it is a fairly typical question* “I can assure you that each of our rooms has its own private bathroom.”

Caller: “I’m glad to hear this. You see, one time we were staying at a bed and breakfast that had shared bathrooms and my wife was taking a shower one morning and a gentleman entered while she was shaving her private parts. It was a bit embarrassing.

Me: *hoping this is some sort of prank call, but am unable to end it* “That can’t have been good. Well, you don’t have to worry about that happening here.”

Caller: “Well since he had already seen everything my wife just continued to finish up her shower as he went about his business. My other question is are speedos allowed to be worn on the beach?”

Me: *at this point the mental images have me wishing I could end calls, but am unable to* “As far as I am aware, you should be able to wear a speedo on the beach. I’ve heard nothing to the contrary.”

Caller: “Thank you very much for your help. I’ll talk it over with the wife and give you a call back.”

(It didn’t surprise me that they never called back.)

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Which Is S’more Unlikely?

| BC, Canada | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Hotels & Lodging, Popular

(I work evenings at a four star hotel with a restaurant attached. We have gas fireplaces in every room. I am the only one left on shift but luckily for me the owner is there doing her monthly audit. The phone rings and I’m busy so she pick it up.)

Owner: “Front Desk, how may I help you?”

(I pause as I see her roll her eyes.)

Owner: “Yes, this is a manager speaking.” *a small amount of time passes and she looks completely dumbfounded* “I’m sorry, sir, could you repeat that, please?” *pause* “Unfortunately, sir, there is nothing I can do for you at this time. I will have maintenance come take a look in the morning.” *pause* “Sir, not only am I unable to do that but I won’t. I will have maintenance look at it in the morning and if there is damage you will be charged a compensation fee. Have a nice night.” *she hangs up the phone*

Me: “What was that about?”

Owner: “Some jack-a** got drunk and tried to make s’mores in the fireplace. His marshmallow melted to the glass and now he wants a complimentary dinner for the trouble.”

Me: “Wow. Still not the strangest thing I’ve heard this week.”

(As if on cue the phone rings again. She picks it up.)

Owner: “Front Desk.” *pause* “Yes, this is the owner speaking.”

(She pauses again and looks at the room number on the display.)

Owner: “PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE THE REASON I DRINK!” *she slams down the phone and looks at me* “How do you deal with this?”

Me: “Apparently the same way you do.”

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Go And Deep Clean Room 203

| Stony Brook, NY, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Rude & Risque

(My coworker and I work the front desk of a hotel.)

Coworker: *phone rings* “Hi, thank you for calling the [Hotel]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, do you guys have a lost and found?”

Coworker: “Yes, we do.”

Caller: “Okay, good, because I stayed there the other night and lost my virginity in room 203…”

Coworker: *click*