Category: Hotels & Lodging

A good hotel prides itself on providing a decent service to all its guests. But when its guests are our stupid customers, there is very little they can do to remedy the situation except pray they’re fully booked the next time they come around!

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You Can’t Be Siri-ous

| Eilat, Israel | Funny Names, Hotels & Lodging, Technology

(I work reception. One day a guest awaiting his turn stares at me and my name tag with a bemused look on his face.)

Guest: “Is your name really “’Siri’?!”

Me: *smiling* “Only for the last 60 years.”

Guest: “The email confirmation was so polite… I was SURE it was the program!”

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His Valentine Is Going To Be Pissed

| UT, USA | Holidays, Hotels & Lodging, Popular

Me: “Hello, this is [Hotel]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, I need a room this weekend.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, we’re completely booked this weekend.”

Caller: *annoyed* “Why would you be sold out? That makes no sense.”

Me: “It’s a holiday weekend?”

Caller: “You can’t be serious! Nobody cares about President’s Day!”

Me: “Valentine’s Day as well?”

Caller: “OH, S***, I FORGOT!” *click*

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Doctorate In Bread Required

| Barcelona, Spain | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Hotels & Lodging, Popular

(I work at a self-service buffet in a hotel. We have these little signs with the name of every dish except the very obvious ones. I am carrying drinks when a middle-aged guest comes to me and points to the bread aisle.)

Guest: “What is this?”

Me: “Emm… bread, sir.”

Guest: “How do I know this is bread? There is no sign at all.”

Me: “Well, it is obviously bread; it looks like bread, after all.”

Guest: “What if I never saw a piece of bread before? How do I know this is actually bread? You can’t expect us all to know that this is bread. Bring me your manager.”

Me: *fetches the manager*

Manager: “Sir, is there something wrong?”

Guest: “Why is there no sign for bread?”

Manager: “Well, it’s obvious that it’s bread.”

Guest: “This is ridiculous! You think we all have Oxford doctorates here? And you treat us like fools? That’s it! I’ve had enough! I’m filling in a complaint!”

(And he actually did…)

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Too Taxing For Them To Understand, Part 2

| Lancaster, PA, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Money

(A teenage guest goes into our snack shop and picks out two drinks.)

Guest: “These are $4.00, right?”

Me: “$4.24.”

Guest: “$4.24?!”

Me: “Yes, with the tax.”

Guest: “I don’t like tax!”

Related:
Too Taxing For Them To Understand

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Karma Is In The Cards

| USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging, Popular

(We just had problems with the electricity that is now fixed. Because of the earlier problems, some people are still feeling resentful.)

Guest: *snottily* “So, this so-called perfect hotel always have problems here?”

Me: “No, this is the first time in my working in ten years that we’ve had problems with the lights.”

(He frowns, displeased.)

Guest: “Well, will my key card still work?”

Me: “It should; the key card readers run on battery.”

Guest: *angry now* “Well, I just tried them; why the f*** don’t it work, then?!”

(He flings a key card at me. I pick it up.)

Me: “First of all, there’s a different hotel name on the cards. That’s why it doesn’t work here, SIR.”

(He turned a bright maroon and quickly left.)

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