Category: Hotels & Lodging

A good hotel prides itself on providing a decent service to all its guests. But when its guests are our stupid customers, there is very little they can do to remedy the situation except pray they’re fully booked the next time they come around!

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A Magnet For Stupidity

| Lancaster, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Hotels & Lodging

(This happens to my coworker. At 6:30 am, a guest storms up to the front desk and throws down his key card.)

Guest: “My d*** key doesn’t work anymore! It won’t work on the front door, it won’t work on the back door, and it won’t work on my room door! It doesn’t work at all!”

Coworker: “I’m sorry about that, sir. I’ll remake it for you right now.”

Guest: “What the h*** is wrong with it? It worked last night!”

Coworker: “Did you happen to put it near your cell phone?”

Guest: “Yeah, I guess. But what does that have to do with anything?”

Coworker: “Well, sir, when you put the card too close to your phone, that can cause it to demagnetize.”

Guest: “What? That’s stupid! Why do you have such ridiculous keys? I should be able to put my key wherever I want!”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, sir, but that’s just the way the keys are. There’s nothing we can do about it.”

Guest: “Well, too bad! I’m going to keep putting it by my phone! You’ll just have to make me a new one each day!”

(The guest grabs his new key and storms off. I’m not sure what he meant by “too bad,” since deliberately letting his key get decoded would only be an inconvenience for him, not us.)

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My Carrot Top Complaint

| Savannah, GA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Hotels & Lodging

(I’m working as a server, checking in on guests who have already received their meal.)

Me: “Hey, how is everything?”

Customer: “Oh, yes, everything was good. Except…” *she points to an orange wedge in her fruit cup* “I do not like this carrot piece.”

Me: “Carrot? You mean orange?”

Customer: “Yes, it is orange! But it is still not a very good carrot!”

Me: “…I can’t argue that, ma’am.”

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Weather Through The Stupid Questions

| Germany | Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging

(While at the reception desk, on a beautiful sunny day, I see a guest exit the adjacent hotel building, walk down the sidewalk, down the stairs, and across to enter the lobby.)

Guest: “So, what is the weather like today?”

Me: *leans over to look past the guest and out the window at the beautiful sunny day*

Guest: “Don’t do that!”