Category: Hotels & Lodging

A good hotel prides itself on providing a decent service to all its guests. But when its guests are our stupid customers, there is very little they can do to remedy the situation except pray they’re fully booked the next time they come around!

Charged Up On Idiocy

| AR, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal, Hotels & Lodging

(I’m at work at a local, small, hotel with an excellent housekeeping staff. It is between 10-11 pm at the end of my shift. A guest who had been staying at the hotel all week calls me on Thanksgiving and is immediately angry.)

Guest: “I need to speak to your manager.”

Me: “I’m sorry, she is not here at the moment. Is there anything I can help you with?”

Guest: “You can help me by finding the person who stole my phone charger.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that your charger has been misplaced, sir. If by any chance our housekeeping staff picked it up by accident, it would be in our lost and found and also it would be documented. Do you mind being on hold while I check those possibilities?”

Guest: “It hasn’t been misplaced. It was stolen. And I need you to find it.”

Me: “Yes, sir. Just hold on and I will go check every place I know of to check.”

(I come back two minutes later.)

Me: “Thank you for holding, sir. I am sorry to inform you that I looked in all of the possible places it would be and unfortunately was not able to find your charger.”

Guest: “Well, this is unacceptable! One of your housekeepers stole my expensive phone charger and are probably using it right now. No wonder you can’t find it!”

Me: “Sir, I assure you, our housekeeping staff is very trustworthy and would have no motivation to risk their job for a phone charger.”

Guest: “I want this phone call documented and I want your manager to call me first thing in the morning and if I don’t hear from him before I leave for work, we are going to have a problem, missy.”

Me: “My manager is a woman, and she will call you as soon as she gets time.”

Guest: “D*** right HE will! And you better make sure nothing like this ever happens again!”

Me: “Goodnight, sir.”

(That morning we get a call from the same man who is unapologetic and seems to be in a hurry.)

Me: “Front desk. How may I help you?”

Guest: “Yeah, I want to speak to your manager.”

Me: “I’m sorry, she isn’t available at the moment; may I take a message?”

Guest: “Yes, the woman I spoke to last night was very rude and I’d like to complain about her and I want her fired and my room rate paid for!”

Me: “Sir, what was she rude to you about?”

Guest: “She told me that housekeeping would not have taken my phone charger when I know for a FACT that they did!”

Me: “Well, no phone charger has been documented. Are you sure—”

Guest: *interrupts me* “FOUND IT! I still want her FIRED!”

Can’t Manage What You’re Telling Them

| USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

(The phone rings while I’m working the front desk at a hotel.)

Me: “[Hotel], this is [My Name] speaking. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Is this [Hotel]?”

Me: “Yes, it is.”

Caller: “And what is your name?”

Me: “My name is [My Name].”

Caller: “I would like to speak to a manager.”

Me: “Unfortunately there is no manager on site right now. Could I take a message for you?”

Caller: “I want to make a room block for a wedding, so I need a manager NOW.”

Me: “As I said, sir, there is no manager on site to speak with you. However, I can transfer you to our events coordinator who is in charge of handling weddings.”

Caller: “No! I NEED TO SPEAK TO A MANAGER ABOUT ROOMS FOR A WEDDING. Transfer me to a manager this instant!”

Me: “I understand, sir. I will transfer you right away.”

Caller: “You should know I’m reporting you for lying and wasting my time!”

(I transfer him to the empty manager’s desk in the back. He didn’t call back.)

A Disturbing Way To Say ‘Do Not Disturb’

| Boston, MA, USA | Bizarre, Hotels & Lodging

(I’m the idiot customer in this story. My family got two hotel rooms, one for my parents and the other for my sister and me. My mom comes into my room as I’m doing my hair in the bathroom, half-dressed. There’s a knock on the door and I assume it’s my dad.)

Me: *yelling* “I’M NOT WEARING PANTS!”

(Unfortunately for me, it wasn’t my dad. It was a hotel employee. He muffled a response of “uh, ok” and left. If you’re out there, sir, I’m so sorry. I hope I made your day though because my family can’t stop laughing.)

In A Butter Bother

| Clute, TX, USA | Bizarre, Hotels & Lodging

(I am the customer. I have brought peanut butter and bread to a hotel room, but have not brought a knife. Looking around the room, I have found a ballpoint pen, and am intending to use it as a spreader. My cousin, who I am sharing the room with, asks:)

Cousin: “Are you sure that’s sanitary?”

Me: “I’ll check.”

(I call the front desk.)

Front Desk: “Hello?”

Me: “Hi. How sanitary are your pens?”

Front Desk: “What?”

Me: “The pens. The ballpoint pens. I’m seeing if I can use them as peanut butter spreaders.”

Front Desk: “I don’t know. Some people take them home, and some of them just come off a cart… We have butter knives!”

Me: “Are they complimentary?”

Front Desk: “Sure.”

Me: “Can you send them up?”

Front Desk: “Sure.”

(They did!)

Doctor “Do Not Disturb”

| USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

(A customer comes up to the desk in the morning and informs us that his toilet is broken, and tells us to look at it. Hours later, the customer comes back and informs us very impolitely that his toilet is still broken.)

Me: “I do apologize for that, sir… but when our maintenance man went up to fix it, he was stopped by a Do Not Disturb sign on your door.”

Customer: *rolls eyes and throw hands up exaggeratedly* “THAT was for the housekeeper, not the maintenance man! I put it up because I didn’t want my room cleaned! Obviously, I want my toilet fixed!”

Me: “I apologize, Mr. [Customer], but it is our policy not to disturb guests who do not want to be disturbed. We could get into trouble if we did.”

Customer: *waving hands in air* “It’s Doctor [Customer]! I have a PhD! So, now you want to blame me for my toilet not being fixed, and you don’t even address me right?! You know what I’m going to do? Complain on the customer complaint line about how poorly run this hotel is! Yessirree!”

Me: “Ok, sir….”

Customer: “I’m a doctor, not a ‘sir’!” *storms off*

(He did complain and his complaints were laughed off.)

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