Category: Hotels & Lodging

A good hotel prides itself on providing a decent service to all its guests. But when its guests are our stupid customers, there is very little they can do to remedy the situation except pray they’re fully booked the next time they come around!

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Karma Is In The Cards

| USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging, Popular

(We just had problems with the electricity that is now fixed. Because of the earlier problems, some people are still feeling resentful.)

Guest: *snottily* “So, this so-called perfect hotel always have problems here?”

Me: “No, this is the first time in my working in ten years that we’ve had problems with the lights.”

(He frowns, displeased.)

Guest: “Well, will my key card still work?”

Me: “It should; the key card readers run on battery.”

Guest: *angry now* “Well, I just tried them; why the f*** don’t it work, then?!”

(He flings a key card at me. I pick it up.)

Me: “First of all, there’s a different hotel name on the cards. That’s why it doesn’t work here, SIR.”

(He turned a bright maroon and quickly left.)

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A Magnet For Stupidity

| Lancaster, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Hotels & Lodging

(This happens to my coworker. At 6:30 am, a guest storms up to the front desk and throws down his key card.)

Guest: “My d*** key doesn’t work anymore! It won’t work on the front door, it won’t work on the back door, and it won’t work on my room door! It doesn’t work at all!”

Coworker: “I’m sorry about that, sir. I’ll remake it for you right now.”

Guest: “What the h*** is wrong with it? It worked last night!”

Coworker: “Did you happen to put it near your cell phone?”

Guest: “Yeah, I guess. But what does that have to do with anything?”

Coworker: “Well, sir, when you put the card too close to your phone, that can cause it to demagnetize.”

Guest: “What? That’s stupid! Why do you have such ridiculous keys? I should be able to put my key wherever I want!”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, sir, but that’s just the way the keys are. There’s nothing we can do about it.”

Guest: “Well, too bad! I’m going to keep putting it by my phone! You’ll just have to make me a new one each day!”

(The guest grabs his new key and storms off. I’m not sure what he meant by “too bad,” since deliberately letting his key get decoded would only be an inconvenience for him, not us.)

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My Carrot Top Complaint

| Savannah, GA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Hotels & Lodging

(I’m working as a server, checking in on guests who have already received their meal.)

Me: “Hey, how is everything?”

Customer: “Oh, yes, everything was good. Except…” *she points to an orange wedge in her fruit cup* “I do not like this carrot piece.”

Me: “Carrot? You mean orange?”

Customer: “Yes, it is orange! But it is still not a very good carrot!”

Me: “…I can’t argue that, ma’am.”