Category: Hotels & Lodging

A good hotel prides itself on providing a decent service to all its guests. But when its guests are our stupid customers, there is very little they can do to remedy the situation except pray they’re fully booked the next time they come around!


The Gift Card That Keeps On Giving, Part 3

| USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

Customer: *on phone* “Say, can we pay with a gift card?”

(I recall that people have paid with a gift card.)

Me: “As long as when I swipe it, it goes through.”

Customer: “Great!”

(Hours later…)

Customer: “Hi! Here’s my card!”

(I swipe it and it says declined.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but it was declined. You’ll have to pay it another way.”

Customer: “But you said that I could use it!”

Me: “If it goes through, I said.”

Customer: “Details, schmetails…”

The Gift Card That Keeps Giving, Part 2
The Gift Card That Keeps Giving


The Gift-Shop That Keeps On Giving

| FL, USA | Hotels & Lodging

Me: “Good morning! How can I help you?”

Guest: “Yes, I need to buy a shot glass.”

Me: “All right, we have a gift shop to your right that has many varieties.”

Guest: “Where is it?”

Me: “Right around the corner.” *I motion in the direction*

(Five minutes later, the guest comes right to the front of the line, distraught.)

Guest: “Can you help me? I still cannot find the gift shop!”

(I walk around my desk and point directly at the gift shop which is rather large. A few moments later the guest brings a shot glass and a shirt to my desk.)

Guest: “I’d like to buy this.”

Me: “Sir, the checkout is within the gift shop.”

Guest: “Oh, where’s the gift shop?”


I Can Hear The Bells

| MO, USA | Bad Behavior, Hotels & Lodging, Popular

(The reception desk at our hotel has a bell one can ring if there isn’t a member of staff present. On this particular day, however, I’m working the desk and therefore see this person the instant he comes into the lobby.)

Me: “Good afternoon, sir! Are you—”

Man: “Whoa, hold on there! You’re not supposed to speak to me yet!”

(He hits the bell to make it ring.)

Man: “Okay, now you can address me.”

Me: “Uh, that’s not what the bell is for, but okay. Are you checking in?”

Man: “Yes” *gives reservation details*

Me: “Excellent. I just—”

Man: “No! We just went over this!” *rings the bell* “Now you can speak!”

Me: “…I need a credit card for the reservation.”

(He turns away to search his carry bag. I take this opportunity and move the bell under the desk.)

Man: “Okay, here…” *notices* “Hey, where’s the bell?”

Me: “It’s not needed while I’m here, sir. It’s only to alert the receptionist that a guest is at the desk while they’re in the back room or working on the computer.”

Man: “Give me back the d*** bell!”

Me: “I won’t, sir. I’m right here, and it’s not to be abused just to signify when I can speak to you.”

Man: “Fine!” *smacks the desk with his hand* “DING DING! Okay, now, where are my keys?”

Me: “Right here. Our check out policy is—”

Man: “Nooooo…” *smacks the desk again* “DING DING! Okay, now, what were you about to say?”

(I quickly go through the rest of the check in process and send him on his way, adding a note about his bizarre behaviour. True to form we had to take the bell off the desk again when he checked out, and he did the same schtick of hitting the desk, pretending like it was still there.)


Plunging Levels Of Maturity

| Bozeman, MT, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Popular, Rude & Risque

Guest: “We’re heading out.  Our toilet won’t flush, just FYI.”

Me: *swamped at the desk* “Thanks for letting me know. Since you’re heading out I’ll let housekeeping know. It probably just needs a good plunging.”

Guest: “Don’t we all.”

Me: *laughing so much I can’t breathe*


Leaving Little Room For Negotiation

| Denver, CO, USA | Hotels & Lodging

(When you book a hotel room with a third party you just book a room. Any requests for room type (two beds, single king, adjoining) are just that: requests. This occurs after nine pm on a very busy Saturday night.)

Guest: “I’d like to check in…”

(Everything proceeds as normal and I’m swiping his credit card when he suddenly interrupts me.)

Guest: “There’s two beds and a rollaway in there, right?”

(My heart sinks. He’s booked for a single king, literally the only rooms we have left, and all our rollaways have been given out already.)

Me: “Unfortunately, no. The room has a single king, and we are out of rollaways. I literally don’t have any other room—”

Guest: *interrupting me* “But I booked a double queen. It’s me and my wife and three boys.”

Me: “I understand that, and I’m sorry, but when you buy a reservation online you’re buying a room, subject to hotel availability.”

(We continue back and forth in this vein, until he finally decides to check in and put his boys on the floor.)

Me: “I’m really, really sorry. Here, let me buy you breakfast, all of you, and you and your wife a drink tonight from our bar.” *I give him about $70+ in food and beverage coupons; I really felt bad for the guy*

(The guest leaves my counter, grumpy BUT SMILING. Half an hour later the phone rings. It is the third party website rep, regarding this guest.)

Rep: “Hi my name is [Rep] from [Company] regarding [Guest]. He says you don’t have a room for him?”

Me: “That’s not entirely true. We do have a room but it’s not the type he requested.”

Rep: “Okay. He’d like to cancel the reservation.”

Me: “I can’t do that. He’s already checked in, and the reservation is 100% non-cancellable and non-refundable. That’s in the contract every hotel signs with third parties.”

Rep: “Okay but [Guest] is very unhappy with the situation and would like to find a different hotel.”

(I put her on hold and confer with my manager. He decides to cancel the reservation and reverse the charges because we are oversold and need the room. I tell housekeeping to go check it and make sure I can turn it around to resell. Twenty minutes later the phone rings.)

Rep: “Hi, this is [Name] from [Company] again. [Guest] would like to cancel that.”

Me: “I did. I checked him out and reversed the deposit.”

Rep: “No, he wants to stay in the room.”

Me: “I can’t do that. I’ve already reversed the deposit and need the room for someone else.”

(Again this went back and forth for a maddening five minutes. Finally, the rep decided to have the guest call me. He did so right when I got slammed at my counter and was by myself. I kept asking him to hold and he kept hanging up and calling back. Finally my manager returned and took his call. The thing that killed me was that we bent over backward so hard for this guy and he was still going to give us a s***ty review.)

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