Category: Hotels & Lodging

A good hotel prides itself on providing a decent service to all its guests. But when its guests are our stupid customers, there is very little they can do to remedy the situation except pray they’re fully booked the next time they come around!

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Alarmingly Good Service

| GA, USA | Awesome Workers, Hotels & Lodging, Popular

(It is two am at a budget hotel next to a busy interstate. I’ve just booked a tired lady into a room, ensuring that she and her car were near the lobby so that I could keep an eye on a lone woman as she entered the building.)

Me: “Would you like for me to set a wake up alarm for the morning? I can set two, if you’re afraid you’ll go back to sleep.”

Guest: “That would be great. 8:30?”

Me: “Sure! And we serve breakfast and coffee here in the lobby until 9:30. You also have a coffeemaker in your room, if you don’t want to face the world without caffeine. Would you like an extra coffee pod for in-room?”

Guest: “You’re doing this all wrong.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Guest: *with a very tired smile* “I just phoned my husband, telling him where I was, and complaining about dealing with a surly, clueless night clerk. And here you are, being pleasant and helpful; you’re doing this all wrong!”

Me: “I apologize. I’ll be abrasive next time, when you aren’t so tired.”

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Gonna Party Like You’re In Room 1999

| USA | Bad Behavior, Hotels & Lodging, Popular

(A young man dressed up like he’s going to a party checks in. After few moments, we get a few noise complaints about people talking loudly and yelling and playing music from his room. It’s one am and the hotel is sold out.)

Me: “Excuse me, but you can’t have this much people in your room. Plus, all your neighbors are complaining.”

Young Man: “But it’s my birthday!”

Me: “That’s nice, but we can’t have you disturbing others.”

(He nods, but the complaints keep coming.)

Me: “I’m serious; I will have you thrown out if you don’t let others get their sleep. If you want to party, go to a bar or club.”

Young Man: “But it’s my birthday! And all the bars are closed and the clubs are too far from here.”

Me: *fed up* “I don’t care. You must do as I ask or else.”

Young Man: “But it’s my birthday! Plus it was my friend being loud, not me.”

Me: “As payer, you are responsible for your friends.”

(He nodded but didn’t listen. Finally, I told security to throw him out. Too bad he had to be thrown out on his butt on the street on his birthday and out $250. Moral: hotels are not party houses.)

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Great Disorder

| Eilat, Israel | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

(We are notified that a very difficult returning guest is expected, and to confirm her expected arrival to anyone who calls. After check-in she calls the switchboard.)

Guest: “Were there any calls for me?”

Me: “Yes, madam.”

Guest: “Are there any messages?”

Me: “No, madam.”

Guest: *commanding* “Why didn’t you tell them to leave a message?”

Me: *shocked* “Madam! I can’t order anyone to do anything!”

Guest: *pause* “Well… that’s true.”