Category: Hotels & Lodging

A good hotel prides itself on providing a decent service to all its guests. But when its guests are our stupid customers, there is very little they can do to remedy the situation except pray they’re fully booked the next time they come around!


A Golden Opportunity To Complain

| ND, USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

(I work as a night auditor and part of my job is making reservations. One night I get a call from a gentleman that needs a room on a night that we are sold out. I inform him we are full and this is his response:)

Caller: “But I am a Priority Club Gold member. My room is guaranteed!”

Me: “Yes, it’s guaranteed IF there is availability, but we are completely booked.”

Caller: “But I’m Gold; you have to give me a room!”

Me: “I again apologize, but we are full on that night.”

(He cussed me out and hung up. I sometimes wonder if people realize that when they argue, it’s pointless. I mean, I’m not a carpenter, so I can’t build them a room!)


Putting That Argument To Bed

| ON, Canada | Hotels & Lodging, Popular

(I work at a hotel in an area that becomes heavily over-run with tourists in the summer. This happens with someone trying to make a reservation over the phone.)

Me: “Okay, so arriving [this date] for two nights? Would you prefer a room with two double beds or one king size bed?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Me: “I’m sorry? A room with two beds or one king?”

Caller: *very aggressively* “YES! Aren’t you listening to me?”

(It’s been a long day full of rude people and I start to lose my cool.)

Me: “Ma’am, if anyone isn’t listening, it’s you. I’m offering you a choice. Do you want a room with one bed or two beds?”

Caller: “Oh. Two beds, please.”

(After I hang up I expect my boss to get me in trouble for being rude, but when I turn around she has her head in her hands and mutters:)

Boss: “If the whole summer is going to be like this, put me out of my misery now.”


A Taxing Customer, Part 2

| KS, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Money

(I work the front desk overnight at a franchise hotel. We give guests receipts underneath their doors the night before their departure. One morning, toward the end of my shift, an irate woman approaches the desk.)

Guest: “What are these extra charges on my receipt?!”

Me: “Hmm, let me bring this up on my computer to check this out… Well, all I see on here is the room charge and tax. Is there more on your copy that I could see?”

Guest: “Yes! There’s two taxes! State, and then this weird one!”

Me: “Oh, the occupancy tax? That is another term for the federal tax. Were you supposed to be tax exempt?”

Guest: “No, but I’ve never paid federal tax before! That’s not supposed to be there!”

Me: “I apologize, but this is just how the tax is set up here. We divide the state and federal, “occupancy” tax, instead of combining them, as they would at a gas station or elsewhere. It’s the same percentage on each, though.”

Guest: “No, this isn’t right. I’m going to have to ask my people.” *storms off*

Me: “…her people? Oh, well, whomever she asks will tell her the same.”


A Taxing Customer


When Religion A-tax

| GA, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Money, Popular, Religion

(I’m the night auditor/overnight clerk at a random hotel adjacent to the interstate in Georgia. A potential client comes in around one am.)

Customer: “I’d like to rent a room.”

Me: “I have space available. Tonight’s price is [total] plus state and local tax.”

Customer: “I don’t have to pay tax.”

(Customer presents tax exemption form from Florida, naming a church, which exempts church activities from Florida state taxes.)

Me: “Well, I’m not familiar with Florida tax rules, but this doesn’t exempt Georgia taxes. I can’t waive them with this form.”

Customer: “You’re going to Hell.”

Me: “I’ve been through an audit. Hell sounds better. But if you are here on official business, it’s a simple matter to file for a refund in Georgia. I’m afraid that I can’t waive sales and use tax with these forms.”

Customer: “Thou whited sepulcher.”

Me: “Render unto Caesar.”

Customer: “God is going to smite you!”

Me: “I’ll be glad to rent a room to you, at [total] rate, plus tax. If you won’t pay the taxes, I’m afraid I can’t help you.”

Customer: “I don’t pay taxes! God’s people don’t pay taxes! If anyone calls for me, forward my calls to [Hotel across the street, which also collects proper taxes.] Good evening!”

Next Customer In Line: “What do you drink? You dealt with that like someone who drinks after work!”

(The next customer checked in, paid for his room and taxes, and came to the lobby an hour later with a six-pack for me.)


Alarmingly Good Service

| GA, USA | Awesome Workers, Hotels & Lodging, Popular

(It is two am at a budget hotel next to a busy interstate. I’ve just booked a tired lady into a room, ensuring that she and her car were near the lobby so that I could keep an eye on a lone woman as she entered the building.)

Me: “Would you like for me to set a wake up alarm for the morning? I can set two, if you’re afraid you’ll go back to sleep.”

Guest: “That would be great. 8:30?”

Me: “Sure! And we serve breakfast and coffee here in the lobby until 9:30. You also have a coffeemaker in your room, if you don’t want to face the world without caffeine. Would you like an extra coffee pod for in-room?”

Guest: “You’re doing this all wrong.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Guest: *with a very tired smile* “I just phoned my husband, telling him where I was, and complaining about dealing with a surly, clueless night clerk. And here you are, being pleasant and helpful; you’re doing this all wrong!”

Me: “I apologize. I’ll be abrasive next time, when you aren’t so tired.”

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