Category: Hotels & Lodging

A good hotel prides itself on providing a decent service to all its guests. But when its guests are our stupid customers, there is very little they can do to remedy the situation except pray they’re fully booked the next time they come around!

The Forecast Calls For Stupid

| St Andrews, Scotland, UK | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

(I work reception at a hotel. One afternoon, a guest calls to enquire about availability for some dates in the next few weeks. He has a lot of questions, but the last one is the best.)

Guest: “I have one last question, and I know you won’t be able to answer it.”

Me: “…okay?”

Guest: “What’s the weather looking like over there?”

Me: “Right now?”

Guest: “No, for two weeks from now. The dates I want to book.”

Me: “Umm… I’m not sure. Let me… check the BBC weather online?”

Guest: “No, I’m looking at the weather online and it says it’s going to be rainy.”

Me: “Then it’s going to be rainy!”

Guest: “NO. I want to know how hard it’s going to rain. Like, if it says ‘Rain,’ does that mean driving rain or sprinkling rain or will it even rain at all?”

Me: “Sir, if the weather forecast says it’s going to rain, then it’s going to rain. I can’t predict the weather for you.”

Guest: *sigh* “Well, I KNEW you couldn’t help me!”

Sweet Suite Karma

| IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Hotels & Lodging

(I work at a small call center for a catalog company. A well known hotel chain’s toll free phone number is one digit different than ours. They printed out an advertisement and accidently put our phone number on it instead of theirs, so we’d get a couple of calls a day where we had to explain to a customer the mistake and give them the correct number. Most people were understanding, but then I took a call from this particular person:)

Me: “Thank you for calling; how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I want to book a room at your Orlando location.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, there was a misprint in a recent advertisement of [Hotels]. You dialed the wrong number. You want [correct number].”

Customer: Excuse me?

Me: “There was a misprint in a recent advertisement of theirs. You dialed the wrong number. You want [correct number].”

Customer: “No, I know I dialed correctly. Now, I need to book a room. ”

(The conversation catches the ear of the president of the company who is walking by. He stops at my desk. I shrug my shoulders at him and show him the hotel ad. He nods, understanding what’s happening.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. This is [Company], not [Hotels]. The correct number is—”

Customer: “Now, you listen here. I’m not an idiot! I dialed the correct phone number. Now, are you going to take my reservation or not?!”

(The president gets my attention again.)

President: *quietly* “Put him on hold; I’ll talk to him.”

Me: “Sir, would you like to talk to my boss?”

Customer: “YES, I would!”

(I put the customer on hold and poke my head in the president’s office. I tell him what line he is on. The president motions for me to stay.)

President: “Hello, I understand you are trying to book a room? Uh-huh. Okay. What weekend are you and your family coming down? Uh-huh. OK, because of your inconvenience, we will upgrade you to the president’s suite at no extra charge. Here is your confirmation number—” *rattles off a meaningless number* “Thank you, and we’ll see you on the 30th. Goodbye.”

(I am wide-eyed in shock and holding back my laughter.)

President: “That’ll teach him to open his ears…”

Going Totally Off The Wire(less)

| TX, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Technology

(Guest calls down having issues with the Wi-Fi; his tablet can’t find our network. After explaining the code, he comes down to the desk all upset.)

Me: “Good evening. How are you today?”

Guest: “Frustrated, I can’t log on to the Wi-Fi. I’ve been trying all day and I just can’t! I want to check out! I’ve missed so much work already!”

Me: *noting it’s after five, I try to convince him to stay otherwise he will be charged an additional night* “Would you like to try moving to another room where the connection is stronger?”

Guest: “No, I can’t be sure that it will work there so I don’t want to bother.”

(After going back and forth, he agrees to go see a room. I manage to successfully log him on the network.)

Me: “Did you want to move here, sir?”

Guest: “No, I just want to check out!”

Me: “Okay, but I’m going to have to charge you for tonight, since you checked out after five.”

Guest: “Oh, that is ridiculous. How can you charge me if you didn’t even provide a basic service!”

Me: “But I did. Your [Tablet] logged on to the network, and I offered to move you at no charge.”

Guest: *irate* “No, you didn’t provide me a basic service. I have to pay for another hotel and you want to charge me? Oh, I will be writing you a bad review!”

If You Ask A Stupid Question…

| Riverview, FL, USA | Hotels & Lodging

Caller: “Hello. I would like to know if your pool has water in it.”

Me: “Nope. Our pool is full of fire-breathing flamingoes.”

Room For Annoyance

| St Andrews, Scotland, UK | Hotels & Lodging

(I work in reception at a small family-run hotel and I am helping in the restaurant one afternoon. We have a large group of senior citizens staying with us. One of them calls reception, and as I am downstairs in the restaurant, it gets bumped downstairs.)

Guest: “Hi, can you transfer me to Mr. Smith’s room, please?”

Me: “Sure. I’m down in the restaurant at the moment, so I don’t know Mr. Smith’s room number. Would you happen to know so I can transfer you?”

Guest: “No.”

Me: “All right, then. If you’ll give me just a moment, I’ll transfer you to the reception desk and take your call up there.”

(As I hang up the phone, it disconnects the call. The guest, however, thinks he is still on hold, and keeps his phone off the hook. I get back to reception and am unable to call him back, as the line is busy, so I run up to his room on the top floor.)

Me: *knocking on the door* “Hello! It’s [My Name] from reception! Sorry, but we were disconnected.”

Guest: *not even opening the door* “What?”

Me: “We got disconnected so I wasn’t able to transfer your call.”

Guest: “Are you on the phone?!”

Me: “No… I’m outside your door!”

Guest: *still not opening the door* “Well… can you transfer me to Mr. Smith’s room?”

Me: “Not from here! But you can call him by dialing his room number, 114.”

Guest: “hrrrumph…”

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