Category: Hotels & Lodging

A good hotel prides itself on providing a decent service to all its guests. But when its guests are our stupid customers, there is very little they can do to remedy the situation except pray they’re fully booked the next time they come around!

That’s A Completely Different Function

, | Phoenix, AZ, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Language & Words, Technology

(I am working nights at a help desk for hotel guests that need assistance connecting to WiFi. The customer can’t get online because the laptop’s WiFi is off. I calmly try directing their attention to the FN key (function key) + the key with WiFi signal on it (F6).)

Me: “To enable WiFi simple press and hold the FN key Then tap F6.”

Customer: “Don’t get impatient with me, sir.”

Me: “Oh, I’m not; just letting you know how to turn on your WiFi.”

Customer: “Let me talk to your supervisor!”

Me: “Okay… I can help if you would simply press the—”

Customer: “Supervisor!”

Me: “Okay, one moment…”

Supervisor: “This is [Supervisor]. How can I help?

Customer: “Your tech is being rude and telling me to press the FN key over and over. It’s unprofessional!”

Supervisor: “Do you see the space bar?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Supervisor: “Look three keys to the left; what does it read?”

Customer: “Oh, my god, I thought he was telling me to press the ‘effin’ key! I’m so sorry.”

Guys These Days Are Easily Bugged

| Aurora, CO, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Pets & Animals

(I am a female front desk associate working at a small hotel. This means most evenings I am the only employee on site.)

Guest: “There is a bug flying around my room. Can someone please come take care of it?”

(Note that this was an adult male. Yes, I killed the bug for him.)

It Doesn’t Expressly Say So

| San Jose, CA, USA | Hotels & Lodging

Guest: “I dropped the keys in the express checkout box. Is there anything else i need to do?”

Me: “No, sir, you are all set.”

(What’s the point of doing an express checkout if you are going to take the time to come to the front desk anyway?)

Making A Poor Case

| USA | Hotels & Lodging, Money

(A grumpy looking young man comes late at night.)

Me: “Welcome.”

Customer: “How much are your prices here?”

Me: “$169 per night.”

Customer: *shaking with visible anger* “How do you justify charging that much?!”

Me: “Well, there’s breakfast included, an all-you-can-eat buffet—“

Customer: *dismissive wave* “F*** breakfast!”

Me: “And there’s free Internet and cable. And maid service.”

Customer: “Who cares about that?! There’s no way you can justify charging this much.”

Me: “Okay, so not interested, then…”

(I figure the man will storm off like all those that are not interested, but he stays put.)

Customer: “This is discrimination!”

Me: “Against what?”

Customer: “Against poor people! Y’all aren’t letting poor people stay here!”

(The man ranted about getting his lawyer soon, and had to be escorted out by security. Some people.)

Welcome To The Hotel Cali-Pornia

| Latham, NY, USA | Hotels & Lodging

(It is about 4 am on my second 12-hour overnight shift by myself. Keeping an eye on the cameras I notice a young man standing outside his room in nothing but his boxers. I walk over to him.)

Me: “Sir, is everything all right?”

Guest: “Yeah, just locked out of my room.”

Me: “All right, can I have your name?”

Guest: “It’s [Guest].”

Me: “Okay, I’ll be right back.”

(I go to the front desk and make a new room key, then return to the guest.)

Me: “There you go!”

Guest: “Thanks.”

Me: “Have a good night, and next time you get locked out, try to be clothed.”

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