Category: Hotels & Lodging

A good hotel prides itself on providing a decent service to all its guests. But when its guests are our stupid customers, there is very little they can do to remedy the situation except pray they’re fully booked the next time they come around!

Acting Stupido

| Dahlgren, VA, USA | Funny Names, Hotels & Lodging

Guest: “Oh, Marla is a pretty name; but it doesn’t sound very Italian.”

Me: “Why would I have an Italian name?”

Guest: “You’re Italian, right? I mean, you look Italian.”

Me: “Nope, not Italian. Mom’s Mexican and Dad is White.”

Guest: “So, you’re kinda Italian?”

Me: “Nope. Not kinda. Not at all.”

Guest: “Well, you should be. You would be a pretty Italian.”

Me: *smiles and hands them their key* “So, since I’m not Italian, I am ugly?”

Won’t Step Foot In Without Square Footing

| USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

Me: “Hello, thank you for calling. This is the front desk. How may I help?”

Caller: “You can help me by telling me some info on your rooms!”

Me: “Okay, what would you like to know?”

(I’m expecting the usual questions, like how many beds, whether there’s a fridge, etc.)

Caller: “Tell me, what is the square footage of the rooms?”

Me: “Square footage? I don’t… know.”

Caller: “What do you mean? It’s a simple question!”

Me: “Well, it’s the first time I had a question like that. You’ll have to ask the contractor who designed the place, or the owner might know…”

Caller: “Give me them, then! I need to know now!”

Me: “They aren’t here. It’s three am where we are now.”

(The man rants about stupid people, and calling corporate, and me being unhelpful, etc. using foulest language I’ve ever heard, and I’ve heard lots. At his pause I speak up.)

Me: “Would you like to book here?”

Caller: *still screaming* “No, I wouldn’t ever want to book there—”

Me: “That’s very good news. We thank you.” *I hang up*

A Low Satisfaction Curve

| Australia | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

(The hotel I work in is round and the outside wall of each room follows the curve of the hotel. Upon request the guest has been given an early check-in. Not 10 minutes later she comes back down to the desk.)

Me: “Good morning again. Is there something else I could help you with?”

Guest: “Yes. I want another room.”

Me: “I’m sorry. Is anything in particular wrong with your current room?”

Guest: “I don’t like the way the room curves… You know?”

Me: “…I’m sorry, ma’am, but every room curves in much the same fashion.”

Guest: “You should get that fixed.”