Category: Hotels & Lodging

A good hotel prides itself on providing a decent service to all its guests. But when its guests are our stupid customers, there is very little they can do to remedy the situation except pray they’re fully booked the next time they come around!

Not A Fan Of Your Coldness

| NB, Canada | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging

(A guest approaches the front desk early in the morning to check out. I greet him.)

Me: “Good morning! Checking out, I see; what’s the room number?”

Customer: “It’s room 115.”

Me: “Wonderful, Mr. [Customer], and did you enjoy your stay?”

Customer: “No, I did not, and I think I should be compensated.”

Me: “Oh? I’m so sorry to hear that; what was the problem you had?”

Customer: “There was no heat in the room! I froze all bloody night and barely got any sleep. Why should I have to pay for a room with no heat in February?”

Me: “I’m so sorry to hear that, sir. I will definitely have this taken care of right away. I just need to know exactly what the problem was. Was the heater running but not producing heat? Was the temperature display on the wall not working?”

Customer: “Oh no, everything was working. I just didn’t have heat.”

Me: “I don’t understand. Did you turn on the heat and increase the temperature and it get any warmer?”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t know. I just pressed the button that said fan and a fan came on and it got cold so I went to bed.”

Me: “Okay… were you not able to turn the fan off or to turn the heat on?”

Customer: “I don’t know; I didn’t try.”

Me: “I see. Did you call the front desk to ask for assistance?”

Customer: “NO! I told you, I pressed the button that said fan, the fan came on and it got cold, so I just went to bed.”

Me: “So, let me see if I’ve got this straight. You slept in a room with a fully operational heater, you turned on the fan instead of the heater, made no attempts to correct your own error, and now you want a discount because you were cold.”

Customer: “Well, when you say it like that you make it sound like I’m an idiot.”

I Smell A Rat

| Canberra, ACT, Australia | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging, Pets & Animals

(A guest rings up hotel:)

Guest: “This is a strange request, but is it possible to bring live rats and keep them in the room overnight?”

Stop And Stair, Part 2

| USA | Bad Behavior, Hotels & Lodging

(It’s around two am. A group of customers, in their mid 20s, a blonde woman, a brunette woman, and two guys, enter. They are all being rowdy and clearly very drunk.)

Me: “Guys, please keep it down. Some people on the first floor are trying to sleep.”

(Clearly annoyed that I rained on their parade, they scowl and press the button for the elevator. After a few minutes…)

Blonde Woman: “Hello?! Where’s the f****** elevator?”

Brunette Woman: “It sure is taking a loooong time.”

Blonde Woman: “Yeah, I might as well take the f****** stairs. Where’s the f***** stairs?!”

Me: “They’re right over there.” *points*

(The blonde woman stares at me like I just told her to run around outside naked, and just then the elevator doors swing open,)

Brunette Woman: “Come on, the elevator is finally here.”

(As they’re getting into the elevator, I hear the blonde woman say this in an insulted tone.)

Blonde Woman: “The clerk ACTUALLY told me where the stairs are! Can you believe it!?”