Category: Home Improvement

Stupid customers still have to live somewhere. While we applaud them for sometimes wanting to make the place look nice, please don’t assume flat-pack furniture comes ready out of the box, or that power-tools are named as such because they need power! They make Tim The Toolman Taylor look like Frank Gehry!

Lack Of Appliance Compliance

| Round Rock, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Home Improvement, Money

(I work in the appliances department of a popular home improvement store. Occasionally, I go to the customer service desk to help out. On this particular evening, a customer is arguing with my older, Irish coworker. I walk over to help out.)

Me: “What’s the problem?”

Coworker: “Oh, she refused her appliances and wants a refund.”

Me: *to customer* “When were your appliances delivered?”

Customer: “At five-thirty.”

Me: “Today?”

Customer: “Yes.”

(I check the time and see it’s only six-forty pm. The delivery company office closes at five pm and so do our venders.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am. The delivery office is closed, and the notes indicating that you refused your appliances aren’t in the system yet. It won’t be until eight o’clock in the morning.”

Coworker: “Yeah, once the notes are in, there’s a 72-hour wait until we get the identification numbers for the appliances. Then, we can process your refund.”

Me: “We get the identification number from [appliance brand the customer bought from].”

Customer: “No, no, no. I buy from [Store], not [Appliance Brand].”

Coworker: “Yes, but we need those numbers in order to process the refund. The identification numbers let us know that the refused washer and dryer are back with [Appliance Brand]. Once the notes come in tomorrow morning, we’ll get the identification numbers and give you a call.”

Customer: “No. I buy from [Store]. I want my money now!”

Me: “Ma’am, this is our policy with [Appliance Brand]. There is nothing we can do until the notes show up in the system tomorrow morning and—“

(The customer grabs her paperwork and abruptly walks off to the appliance department. A short time later, another coworker calls me back to appliances because a customer wishes to return her appliances and get a refund. Low and behold, it’s the same customer.)

Customer: *freezes upon seeing me* “He call you?”

Me: “Yes, I’m the appliance specialist. What did you need?”

Customer: *points to a stacked washer and dryer* “I want those.”

Me: “Sure! I can set up an order for you.”

Customer: “But I want credit from this to use to that.” *waves her paperwork in front of me*

Me: “Ma’am, like I told you earlier, after the notes show up, it can take up to 72 hours for the identification numbers then—“

Customer: “I don’t understand why you can’t refund me. I want to buy these.”

Me: “And you can.”

Customer: “Then give me my money.”

Me: “Ma’am, I can’t. Not until we get the identification numbers from [Appliance Brand].”

Customer: “No, I didn’t buy from [Appliance Brand]. I bought from [Store]. You need to give me my money.”

Me: “Ma’am, the store cannot process any refund until we get the identification numbers from [Appliance Brand]. Once we have those, you’ll get your money back. Without it, we cannot do anything, especially since there aren’t any notes in the system yet.”

Customer: “And what if [Appliance Brand] goes bankrupt?”

Me: “I…I’m sorry?”

Customer: “What if [Appliance Brand] goes bankrupt? What happens to my money then?”

Me: “Believe me, ma’am. [Appliance Brand] will not go bankrupt.”

(Note: this particular appliance brand also makes TVs, laptops, and cellphones. It is practically impossible for them to go bankrupt. Especially in three days.)

Customer: “I said ‘if’. If they go bankrupt. [Another unrelated company] went bankrupt and I lost my money. What do I do if [Appliance Brand] goes bankrupt?”

Me: “Ma’am, that’s not really an issue nor a concern. You’re more than welcome to buy a new washer and dryer set, but you’ll have to wait 72 hours for your refund. I can show you some features this washer has—“

Customer: “But I want my money. If you don’t give me my money, I’ll go broke. I spent $3,000! I’m broke because of you. I’ll complain to your boss!”

Me: “I’m sorry. There’s nothing I can do until tomorrow morning.”

(The customer throws her hands up and promptly leaves the store. I relayed the story to my manager and Irish coworker. My manager laughed.)

Coworker: “Serves her right! Coming in here like the f****** Queen of England. Bleh!”

This Flowered Into Nothing

| OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

(It is pouring down rain, and I’m called outside to help a customer in the garden area. I get soaked within seconds, and find an elderly woman gazing at hanging baskets.)

Woman: “I’m looking for flowers to refill my hanging basket.”

Me: “Well, we have a large variety of flowers right now. All would look lovely in a basket, or we have the pre-filled baskets ready to go and in bloom.”

Woman: “I want the same thing I got last year.” *looks at me expectantly*

Me: “Uh… did you get it here? Perhaps a fuchsia?”

(At this point I am shaking from cold and wondering what exactly she wants from me.)

Woman: “Just grab the one I bought last year. I don’t know where I got it, but I want the same one.

Me: I’m sorry; I don’t know what you had last year. Do any of these flowers look familiar?”

Woman: “Oh, I don’t know. Why can’t you remember what I bought? I just want the same flowers! Just help me!”

Me: *desperate to leave* “I think you bought fuchsias last year! Right here!” *shows her the plant*

Woman: “Oh, yes, thank you! Oh, those are much too expensive. Well, have a good day!”

(She bought nothing, took 15 minutes of my day, and left me sopping wet and freezing. I love customer service.)

Loading Up Goodwill

| Netanya, Israel | Home Improvement, Theme Of The Month

(I am a customer at a popular Swedish cheap furniture mega-chain. On this evening I have just finished exchanging a disassembled table I mistakenly bought for the model I wanted. While I am loading the new box into my car, an older lady asks me to help with her new furniture.)

Customer #1: “Excuse me, can you help me load this into my car?”

Me: “But of course!”

(As I load the woman’s furniture into her vehicle, a middle-aged man nearby sees me doing that and assumes that it is my job.)

Customer #2: “When you’re done there, can you come help me?”

Me: “Um, I don’t actually work here, but sure.”

Customer #2: “Oh, you don’t? I’m sorry.”

Me: “It’s no problem, I’ll help anyway.”

(I help the man load his car, and he hands me a coin.)

Customer #2: “Well here, take this for your trouble.”

(I got a tip of 5 shekels – about $1.3 – without even working there.)

Doesn’t Know How To Window Shop

| England, UK | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

(I work in a bargains store where people can get almost anything for less than the RRP. An elderly customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Will these curtains fit my window?”

Me: “What size is the window you’re buying for?”

Customer: “Living room.”

Me: “No, sorry I mean like what are the measurements for it?”

Customer: “It’s a normal front living room window.”

Me: “Every window is different. These ones you’ve picked out are 90″x90″, so they would fit a fairly large window. Do you know the size in inches, or even centimetres? We can work from there.”

Customer: “No, but it’s the same size window as everyone else on my street, so I think it’ll be the same for everywhere. Would they fit your window?”

Like Sleeping On Heavenly Clouds

| USA | Bizarre, Home Improvement, Religion

(We sell mattresses. A customer does a lap around the store and stops at our most expensive beds.)

Customer: “THIS BED IS ONLY $89?!”

Me: “Yes, sir, if you qualify for the four-year financing it’s $89 a month.”

Customer: “Well, there’s no point in me financing a bed, Jesus is coming next year. Have a nice day”

Me: “…”