Category: Home Improvement

Stupid customers still have to live somewhere. While we applaud them for sometimes wanting to make the place look nice, please don’t assume flat-pack furniture comes ready out of the box, or that power-tools are named as such because they need power! They make Tim The Toolman Taylor look like Frank Gehry!

Not The Four-Man For The Job

, | OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

(I work on a delivery truck for an appliance store. We work in teams of two to carry sometimes very heavy appliances through tight spaces and install them. Today, we have an exceptionally large fridge to deliver, and it needs at least 30 inches of space to get in. The customer’s doorways into the kitchen are 29 inches. The only other way in is through the back door, but we would have to lift the 400-500 pound fridge over a counter to get into the kitchen. For obvious safety reasons, we are supposed to call in to schedule a four-man delivery team to take care of tough jobs like this.)

Coworker: “Sir, unfortunately your fridge is too large for us to get it in. It will fit one way but we need to reschedule to have four guys come out to lift it.”

Customer: “No, it’s going in that house today.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t have another team that can come out to help us today, and we still have five more deliveries to take care of today anyway.”

Customer: “I don’t f****** care! We aren’t rescheduling. You two are going to put that in the f****** kitchen right now!”

Coworker: “Sir, this isn’t something we can do with just two guys. And if you continue to yell and curse at us, I’m declining this delivery and we’ll leave right now.”

Customer: “I don’t see how that is my problem. You two just need to do your d*** job!”

Me: “Actually, it is your problem because YOUR house is too small to fit the fridge YOU selected. We’re trying to make this work, but you are being very uncooperative.”

(The customer continues to yell, curse, and threaten us, so we call in to our warehouse to tell our boss what’s going on. He gives us the ok to leave and says he’ll call the customer himself.)

Coworker: “Okay, sir, we’re putting the fridge back on our truck and leaving. Our boss will be calling you in the next few minutes to explain the situation and set up a four-man team.

Customer: “Don’t you dare put my fridge on that truck!” *to his wife, who has been standing there only marginally less belligerent the whole time* “If they touch that fridge, call the cops!” *to us again* “I’m gonna sue you for this!” *disappears inside house*

(My coworker and I start to put the fridge back on the truck, not too worried about the cops since the product is technically still ours, when he comes back out with an appliance dolly.)

Customer: “You leave that fridge right there! If you two f***s won’t carry it in I’ll do it by myself!”

(I look at my coworker, who’s been working here longer, to see if we can actually do that, and he shrugs.)

Coworker: “All right, sir, you’re welcome to try, but you’re probably going to dent and scratch the h*** out of your machine and house.”

(We left the fridge and drove off while the customer continued to curse at and insult us. A few days later I heard from another coworker who was on the four-man team. When he got there the fridge was still sitting in the customer’s garage and the doorways had been completely torn apart, but the customer apparently couldn’t manage to do it himself after all.)

Too Late For That Lightbulb Moment

| Canada | Extra Stupid, Home Improvement

(A customer comes to the returns desk and slams down a doorknob.)

Customer: *rudely* “I would like to return this light bulb.”

Me: *pause* “Do you have the light bulb or did you mean this doorknob here?”

Customer: *rolls her eyes and says* “I meant to say doorknob, obviously”.

(All I could think was “I hope you didn’t think this was a light bulb that didn’t work.” Either way, it made my day!)

Unable To Saw Through That Attitude

| New Brunswick, NJ, USA | Bizarre, Home Improvement

Customer: *holding two saws* “What’s better, [Brand #1] or [Brand #2] saws?”

Employee: “What are you looking to cut?”

Customer: *suddenly angry* “None of your f***ing business, bro! Just tell me which saw is better?”

Employee: “Well, [Brand #1] is a wood saw, and [Brand #2] is a hacksaw, so which is better depends on what you’re trying to cut.”

Customer: “Didn’t I just tell you to mind your own business?” *to me* “Can you believe the people that work here? Which if these looks better to do?”

Me: “[Brand #1] looks like a hacksaw and [Brand #2] looks like a wood saw.”

Customer: “Okay, f*** this. I’m going to [Other Hardware Store] and buying a chainsaw.”

Employee: “The wood saw’s probably better, then.”

Customer: *suddenly friendly* “So [Brand #2]? Okay, then! Thanks for your help!”