Category: Home Improvement

Stupid customers still have to live somewhere. While we applaud them for sometimes wanting to make the place look nice, please don’t assume flat-pack furniture comes ready out of the box, or that power-tools are named as such because they need power! They make Tim The Toolman Taylor look like Frank Gehry!

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Trying To Drill The Point Home

| BC, Canada | Home Improvement, Popular

(I work for a hardware retail chain, and we deal with a large volume of returns daily. This is one of my more interesting returns.)

Customer: “I want to return this drill. I didn’t use it.” *places drill on counter*

Me: “All right, let me just take a look here…”

(I open the re-sealed box and find a heavily used, abused drill, covered in dents, scratches, and drywall dust.)

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t return this. It’s clearly been used.”

Customer: “Well, it didn’t work well for me. I don’t want it.”

Me: “How can I return that if nothing is wrong with it? It can’t be resold or returned to the supplier.”

Customer: “It shouldn’t damage as easily as it did.”

Me: “It looks like it’s been dropped a few times from a good height.”

Customer: “Never. It’s never been dropped. Just give me my money back so I can go. I’m a busy man.”

(I can see where this is going, so I reach below the desk and pull out the same brand drill that was written off a year ago for store use.)

Me: “This is our store drill, and it’s been used every day for the last year. You’ve had yours for two weeks. There is no justifying that amount of damage. I can’t return it. I’m sorry.”

Customer: *clearly upset* “This is stupid. You’re an idiot who clearly doesn’t understand power tools.”

Me: “I work in a hardware store selling drills, and I also work as a contractor. I know drills, sir.”

(After more of the same back and forth, the customer finally leaves, purposely leaving the drill behind because “it’s of no use now.” When I told them, all my managers could do was laugh.)

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Sadly The Laws Of Physics Are Rock Solid

| USA | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

(My company sells materials for landscaping, patios, etc. We just sell the material; we don’t install it.)

Me: *answering phone* “[Business].”

Customer: “Hi, I need to get a small dump truck of river rock delivered to [Address].”

Me: “Absolutely. It will be [amount] and we can get it delivered this afternoon, if that works for you?”

Customer: “Okay. Will he be able to get in the backyard?”

Me: “As long as there are no fences or trees in the way he should be able to, but he’ll have to look at it when he gets there.”

Customer: “My gate is four feet wide. That’s enough, right?”

Me: “No, sir, he usually needs gates to be eight-ten feet wide depending on the area. If that’s the only way to get to your backyard, unfortunately he will have to dump your rock in the front yard.”

Customer: “Okay, well, he’ll just need to wheelbarrow it into the backyard for me, then.”

(Keep in mind, we just sell and deliver. We’re not landscapers, and this customer apparently thinks the driver moving 16,000 pounds of rock with a wheelbarrow is included in his delivery charge. I pause for the laugh at his own joke I expect, but it does not come.)

Me:“No, sir. He will not be able to move anything with a wheelbarrow. We just deliver the material with the truck and get as close as we can to where you want it.”

(The customer then repeatedly demanded to know why we can’t fit the truck into his backyard, despite my explanation that the truck itself is wider than 4 feet. A landscaping company later picked it up for him.)

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Legal Tax Is Illegally Taxing

| MN, USA | Home Improvement

(I work in building materials at a large hardware chain where I commonly do estimates for all sorts of projects. On a slow night, a customer with a fairly thick accent comes up and we work up a drywall estimate for his basement.)

Me: “Alright, so, your total is [amount] before tax. Is this something you would like us to deliver or are you picking it up yourself?”

Customer: “How much is delivery?”

Me: “For a driveway drop off it would be [amount].”

Customer: “Really? I guess I’ll pick it up tomorrow.”

(The customer leaves and returns within a few minutes and hands me the paper.)

Customer: “The girl at the register tried to charge me more than what is on this sheet! I want you to come with me to make sure I only pay this.”

Me: “I’m sorry about that, sir, but the system is set up to only charge you this number on the paper. How much was the bill?”

Customer: *slightly higher than ticket amount*

Me: “Okay, but this ticket is just for the pre-tax total. Tax is applied at the register.”

Customer: “Taxes?! Why should I have to pay taxes? I’m an illegal!”

Me: *stunned* I’m sorry, sir, everyone pays taxes. It’s the law.”

Customer: “Then I guess I will have to buy my products from people who don’t charge tax!”

(He stormed off and left his purchase ticket with me.)