Category: Holidays

Even during the holidays, customers don’t seem to take a break. With that many extra light-bulbs around you’d think a few extra would appear above their heads?

Christmas Is Just A Game To Her

| Winston-Salem, NC, USA | Crazy Requests, Holidays, Time

(I am working in the service department for a retail company. We are closing early on Christmas Eve. It’s currently 45 minutes till we close and a phone call comes in.)

Me: “Hello, how may I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, I’m looking for this game, [Game]; do you have it?”

Me: *looking up the game* “Yes, we do, ma’am.”

Caller: “Great, what time do you close?”

Me: “We close in about 45 minutes.”

Caller: “I’ll be there in an hour.”

Me: “Ma’am, we close in 45 minutes. We won’t be open in an hour.”

Caller: “I’ll be there in an hour and you better be open or I’m breaking in.”

Me: “Ma’am, you have to be here before five pm or we will be closed.”

Caller: “I’m buying this game for my kid. You ruin my Christmas and I’ll ruin yours.”

Me: “Ma’am, we will be leaving at five pm to have Christmas with our families. Please be here before five. Thank you.” *hangs up*

(As the employees were leaving about 5:15 there was a woman banging on the doors and screaming obscenities about how she would ruin Christmas for everyone.)

This Christmas, Think Inside The Box

| WV, USA | Bizarre, Holidays, Rude & Risque

(I am a middle-aged female employee at a fabric and crafts store and am on the floor helping people with finding items and planning crafts. A very tall man in his early thirties comes up to me.)

Man: “I am looking for gift boxes, but I can’t seem to find one large enough.”

Me: “All our holiday gift boxes have been moved to the front. I’ll show you.”

(I take him to the boxes and he begins considering which one to get and isn’t sure any of them will work.)

Me: “What kind of thing are you trying to fit in the box? Maybe I can help you find the right size.”

Man: “Well, I kind of need one with a lid that pops off.”

Me: “But what are you going to put in the box? Do you have it with you? We can check to see if it fits.”

Man: *looks awkward and mumbly* “Yeah… um. Have you heard of the SNL skit by Lonely Island about… um… things in boxes?”

(I understand immediately. I’m older but love funny things and being a general goofball. He’s referring to a song called “D*** in a Box” where the singer cuts a hole in the box and puts his junk in that box then makes his romantic partner open the box.)

Me: “Ah, yes, sir, I have! Hmmm. Have you considered the wine gift boxes?” *these boxes are very long and cylindrical*

Man: *seems somewhat thrown and relieved by my matter-of-factness* “No, I need something that opens at the top. And I need it to be really sturdy and big enough so I can cut into it and it will still hold up. I’m going to thread my belt through it to hold it up. There’s no room for my belt, and, um, in the wine box.”

Me: *I find something more rectangular with a flip open lid, about 6″ tall and 8″ square* “Hmmm, How about this one? It opens, has a magnetic closure and evens says “Rejoice!” in giant letters on the top. ‘See what I’ve got? Rejoice ye who open the box!’”

Man: *laughs* “Yes, I think that’s perfect! But I need a second one for my brother-in-law; we’re going to do a skit for the family this year.”

(I find this odd, but press forward as if I do not. Honestly, it sounds like a quite interesting family.)

Me: *picks up a slightly smaller box in the same design* “How about this one? I assume you want to seem like the bigger man.”

Man: *chortles* “If he asks me why I could say ‘Yeah, I’ve talked to your wife, dude, and you totally need a smaller box.’”

(We both laugh but he ends up getting the same size box as his own to avoid family fights over the holidays over d***-box-size. I still enjoy imagining that family’s Christmas party. “Hey Grandma, I got something to show ya!”)

Ho Ho Tow

| OH, USA | Bad Behavior, Holidays, Transportation

(I’m a manager at an oil change facility. We have large garage doors in the front of the building to pull cars in and out. One evening as I am closing, I go downstairs to change back into my street clothes. After coming back upstairs I find a vehicle parked up against one of my garage doors. My company’s policies require that we tow away unauthorized vehicles before we leave at night. I am in a good mood, so I decide to go into the restaurant next door to ask their manager if any of the customers were the owner. After asking multiple tables, they find the owner of the vehicle along with his wife.)

Manager: “Okay, sir, this is the manager for the business next door; he wants to talk to you.”

Car Owner: *looks at me, obviously irritated* “What do you want?”

Me: “Sorry to disrupt your dinner, sir, but I wanted to let you know that you have parked in front of my store. We are actually closed now and I will have to tow it if it is not moved.”

Car Owner: “Are you serious?”

Me: “Unfortunately so.

Car Owner: “You have got to be f****** kidding me! I can’t even park in a god-d*** parking lot anymore?!”

Wife: “Darling, just move the car; it’s fine.”

Me: “Actually, sir, you’re not even in a parking lot. Your vehicle is parked in front of my store. If you were in my lot I would just let you stay since you’re just eating, but that’s not the case.”

Car Owner: “F*** you. I’m not moving my car!”

Manager: “Sir, I need to ask you to watch your language or I will need you to leave.”

Car Owner: “You stay out of this! It’s none of your god-d*** business!”

Me: *at this point my good mood has diminished* “Okay, hold on now. One, I did not have to come here and offer you a chance to move your vehicle. Two, I still don’t need to offer it, but Christmas is in three days and I really don’t want to tow your car. So, either move it now, or pay a couple hundred dollars in fines when I tow it.”

(The car owner delayed for a few seconds and then threw something down in anger. He stormed out of the restaurant to go move his vehicle. I followed him outside to make sure he moved his vehicle, which he did. I told him to have a happy holiday, and he returned the wishes by flipping me the bird.)

Better Give Them A Deal Quickly

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Holidays, Money

(I am working in a busy department store at Christmas less than a week out. I am instructed to take a phone call.)

Me: “Hello, how can I help?”

Customer: “I was in there Tuesday… No, Wednesday, and my sister was with me and after we got a coffee, we came in and bought 2 DVDs and 2 games. They were on sale, you see, and we were getting them for my nephew, who is eight and loves superheroes. We are going up the coast for Christmas to see him and his family as his dad works in the military and he has recently changed schools…”

(The store is packed busy, people waiting, as she tells me every detail of her life.)

Me: “Is there something I can help you with?”

Customer: “I need to know the games I bought and what the original price was.”

Me: “Okay, what games were they?”

Customer: “A superhero one and an army one.”

Me: “I will need to know the exact games to let you know the price.” *I go on to suggest some recent titles that they might be*

Customer: “Oh, I don’t know. How much are games these days?”

(I explain they range in price but new releases $60-$80 on average.)

Customer: “I just want to know the original price because that’s more than I paid. Do you think I got a good deal on the ones I purchased?”

Me: “Perhaps you could look at you receipt and let me know what you purchased?”

Customer: “I don’t have one.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I think you got a wonderful deal. Have a nice Xmas.”

Customer: “But I didn’t tell you what ones I bought?”

Me: “Have a nice Christmas, ma’am…”

Got Belly Offended

| Fort Worth, TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Holidays, Spouses & Partners

(A customer asks if we carry anklets, so I lead him to our selection.)

Customer: “Don’t you have any for belly dancing? Like the ones that jingle?”

Me: “Unfortunately not. Is your wife a belly dancer?”

Customer: “What, do you have to be a belly dancer to buy these or something? Of course she’s not a belly dancer. What a stupid question.”

Me: “Uh… I only asked because you had said… never mind. Let me know if you need anything else.”

(A few minutes later, he comes to the register to purchase the anklet. I ring him up, hand him his purchase, and wish him a Merry Christmas.)

Customer: “You’re a dumb mother-f*****, aren’t you?”

(I still don’t know what his problem was!)

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