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Category: Holidays

Even during the holidays, customers don’t seem to take a break. With that many extra light-bulbs around you’d think a few extra would appear above their heads?

Reaching New Heights Of Christmas Confusion

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(As it is December, our store has various different kinds of Christmas trees for sale. We have one of each model fully assembled for display.)

Customer: “Excuse me, can you tell me if this is the four-foot tree or the six-foot tree?”

(She points to a small Christmas tree that is level with my chest. I am about 5’11”.)

Me: “That’s definitely the four-foot tree.”

Customer: “Are you sure that it’s the four-foot tree? It’s definitely not the six-foot tree?”

Me: “Yes ma’am, that tree is definitely four feet tall.”

Customer: “How can you be sure?”

Me: “Because a six-foot tree would be taller than me.”

Customer: “Oh! I can’t believe I said that!”

(The customer’s husband, who was with us the whole time and has never spoken a word, was trying his hardest not to laugh.)

A Totally Bear-able Time Of Year

| NH, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(I work at a convenience store that sells coffee in different flavors. One of my regulars comes in every day and gets a pot of blueberry coffee, so I nickname her Ms. Blueberry, and make sure to always have that flavor ready when she comes in. We have just gotten a shipment of St. Jude charity plush bears for the holidays.)

Ms. Blueberry: *holding up a bear* “This is cute!”

Me: “Yeah, they’re really soft, and for a good cause. A portion of the proceeds goes to the St. Jude Children’s Fund. I’m considering getting one some time.”

Ms. Blueberry: “That so? Just the coffee today.”

(She puts the bear down, pays for her coffee, and enjoys a bit more banter, then leaves. The next day, she’s back as usual. She brings her coffee to the counter and puts one of the bears up with it.)

Ms. Blueberry: “This, too.”

Me: “All right, your total is [total].”

Ms. Blueberry: *handing me her total* “The bear’s for you. Merry Christmas!”

Me: “Really? Wow, thank you!”

(I didn’t stay at that job much longer, but seeing my regulars, especially her, made the job more bearable [pardon the pun] and even, at times, enjoyable. I named the bear Blueberry, and I still have him!)

The First Amendment Is On Holiday

| Tampa, FL, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(It’s the holiday season and I am Jewish. For the holidays I am allowed to wear a little pin dreidel that flashes little lights when I turn it on. Out of respect for other people’s differences of religion, I choose to opt out of saying “Merry Christmas” and instead just wish a “Happy Holidays” to everyone. A customer has just finished paying for their groceries and I have bagged everything myself, since we were short on baggers.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am, you have a wonderful day and Happy Holidays!”

Customer: “No, young lady! You said it wrong! It is not Happy Holidays; it’s Merry Christmas! Honestly! You need to quit being such a terrorist! People like you are tearing this country apart!”

Me: *very confused* “Excuse me? How am I a terrorist?!

Customer: “You need to learn how to accept Christ and the Constitution in your heart and stop this hateful and destructive behavior! We need to keep the Christ in Christmas!”

Me: “Well, ma’am, I am sorry if I offended you. But, Jewish and I don’t celebrate Christmas. I just try to—”

Customer: *cutting me off* “OH, MY GOD!! Does your manager know?!”

(She scoffs and leaves the store muttering how she’s never going to shop here again. The customer behind her walks up to the register shaking his head.)

Customer #2: “Christ and the Constitution? Apparently she doesn’t know what the First Amendment is.”

In A Happy Holi-Daze, Part 3

| Victoria, BC, Canada | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(I am working alone, and I get to choose the music playing in the store. It’s mid-December.)

Customer: “Oh, I just love the music you’re playing! What is it?”

Me: “It’s the Barenaked Ladies Holiday Album. It’s one of my favourites!”

Customer: “Oh, God. You’re one of those.”

Me: “Sorry?”

Customer: “You’re one of those idiots who thinks that saying ‘Christmas’ isn’t ‘politically correct.’ Honestly, what is happening to the world? I hate people like you, who try to make the rest of us feel like backwards hicks for saying ‘Christmas!’”

Me: “Erm… well, the album actually has several Hanukkah songs on it, as well as Christmas carols. So it’s their holiday album.”

Customer: “Oh. Do you know where I could buy it?”

Related:
In A Happy Holi-Daze, Part 2
In A Happy Holi-Daze

Tis The Season, For Unreason, Part 2

| Bellevue, WA, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

Customer: “Do all your stores carry different items?”

Me: “Yes, actually most stores carry more than us. We are the smallest location in the area.”

Customer: “No, I was at your location in [Nearby Mall] and they did not have these tanks.”

Me: “Oh, we don’t actually have a location there.”

Customer: “Yes, you do. I was just there. You OBVIOUSLY don’t know much about your stores.”

Me: “I have worked here for over two years as a manager, and have lived in the area my whole life. I assure you there is not a location there.”

Customer: *becoming frustrated* “Well, you don’t know what you’re talking about. I was JUST there. They had a regular one, a kid’s one, and a baby one.”

Me: *holding back laughter* “Did you mean [Sister Brand to our store]? There is one in [Nearby Mall]?”

Customer: “Oh, yes, that must be it. How embarrassing.”

Me: “It’s the holiday season; we’re all a little scatter-brained.”

Customer: “No, it’s called being old! You’ll be like this too someday!”

Me: *sigh*

Related:
Tis The Season For Unreason

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