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Category: Holidays

Even during the holidays, customers don’t seem to take a break. With that many extra light-bulbs around you’d think a few extra would appear above their heads?

The Picture Of Stupid

| Finland | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(Christmas is our busiest season and our most popular item is a calendar with your own pictures. We have several different ones; you can choose the size, paper, and if it has name days or room for taking notes. A young woman in her 20s walks in with a USB.)

Customer: “What kind of calendars do you have? I have my pictures here.”

(I show her all our calendars and she takes good 30 minutes trying to decide. I have to stand next to her during that time because she asks lots of questions and finds something wrong with EVERY calendar we have. One has too big pictures, one too small etc… Finally she makes a decision and we start making the calendar with our computer.)

Customer: “Uh, why is my picture so small? In that calendar it’s much bigger.”

Me: “We can make it bigger but you have a vertical photo and this picture area is horizontal, so something is going to get cut out if we do that.”

Customer: “What?! No, I don’t want anything cut out! Just put it in there, but bigger!”

(I patiently explain to her that she needs a horizontal picture if she wants it bigger; this picture won’t work. She just doesn’t get it.)

Customer: “I’m just going to go somewhere else! You clearly don’t know what you are doing.”

(Thanks for wasting my time! It is not my fault you don’t understand the difference between vertical and horizontal!)

Tis The Season For Unreason, Part 3

| Albany, NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Holidays

(It is the day after Christmas and we’re desperately trying to work through the heavy traffic in the store. The line is about 20 minutes from the end to being helped.)

Me: “May I help the next customer in line?”

(A customer comes up with a fussy infant in her arms, an eight-year-old, and a five-year-old. The eight-year-old places a marketing box on the counter.)

Customer: “”He wants that and has gift cards.”

Me: “All right, let me just double check if I have this in stock right now.” *looks up in computer* “Oh, unfortunately it looks like we’ve run out, but [5 other locations] all have this item. Would you like me to call and have them hold one for you, or if you would rather I can order it from our online store right here and you can use your gift cards today? We offer free shipping right to your home.”

Customer: *screaming* “I have been waiting in line for 30 minutes with what is obviously an irritated child and you don’t HAVE it?! Shame on you for having the box out!”

Me: “I’m really very sorry but we are required to display the marketing until a certain date regardless of stock because the company has paid for the space in the store.”

Customer: “Well, it’s false advertising and I can’t believe I just waited for nothing! I had to get them all in the car and then we waited here. You obviously don’t know how hard that is to do!”

Me: “I realize it is an event to do so however you can see our current stock through our online site and then call us to hold an item to guarantee we’ll have one for when you get here. Unfortunately, we’ve been out of this item since before Christmas and we haven’t gotten any new shipment because of the holidays.”

Customer: “I am never shopping here again, ridiculous!”

Related:
Tis The Season For Unreason, Part 2
Tis The Season For Unreason

All About The Details

| Montreal, QC, Canada | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(I work in a call center for a company that offers protections plans online. A lot of customers buy plans for Christmas presents this time of year, and will call us to have the plan transferred from them to the person they’re gifting the item and plan to. This happens during a transfer call.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Team]. My name is [My Name]! How can I help you today?”

Caller: “Hi, I bought a plan online a few days ago and I wanted it to be switched to my son and his wife, but it’s a Christmas present so I don’t want them to get anything before then.”

Me: “Sure thing! I’ll be glad to help you with that. Just before we get into it though, do you have their name, address, phone number, and email address? I’ll need all of that to transfer the plan.”

Caller: “Did you hear what I said? I don’t want them to get anything.”

Me: “No, I understand. I just want to make sure we’re not wasting your time by getting halfway through the transfer, realize we don’t have all we need, and have to tell you to call back later.”

Caller: “Oh, uh, sure. All right.”

Me: “Great! So which name would you like us to use?”

Caller: “Uh, [Wife’s First Name]… Never mind, I don’t know her last name. [Son’s Full Name].”

Me: “Thanks! And what’s his phone number?”

Caller: “Well, they moved so I don’t have their address. I’ll have to go downstairs to get it.”

Naughty Words On The Naughty List

WI, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(I work in a specialty toiletry shop. For the holidays we are selling miniature Santa hats for $1. They’re small enough to fit over the lid on a bottle of lotion, shower gel, or fragrance mist. I am ringing up a woman. Her sister, son, and mother are also at the register. The boy, no older than nine, grabs a Santa hat out of the jar.)

Grandmother: “You could put that on your winger-dinger!”

(The daughters are mortified.)

Daughters: “Mother!”

(I laughed hysterically as I finished ringing the one’s order and then rang the grandmother’s order. I will never be able to look at those Santa hats the same again.)

Santa’s Little Helper, Part 2

| Porterville, CA, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(I am five years old. My mom takes my two little sisters and I to see Santa. When it’s my turn to see him I pull a wrapped mini candy cane out of my sock and hand it to him.)

Santa: *laugh* “Thank you. No one has ever given ME a candy cane before.” *then he handed me a full sized candy cane*

(I’m 28 now and I still haven’t forgotten the Christmas I surprised Santa.)

Related:
Santa’s Little Helper

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