icon_holidays

Category: Holidays

Even during the holidays, customers don’t seem to take a break. With that many extra light-bulbs around you’d think a few extra would appear above their heads?

Consoling At Christmas

, | UK | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(I work in the call centre for a national supermarket. It’s six pm on Christmas Eve. It’s beyond busy. A customer calls to say that he collected his order from store, only he just noticed that the games console package is missing its games.)

Me: “I’m so sorry, sir. Give me a moment; I’ll call the store to see if it’s been left behind.”

(I put the customer on hold and speak to a female staff member on the front desk.)

Me: “Hi there, a customer’s missing part of his order. Could you go check it for me, please?”

Store Colleague: “Sure! Be right back.”

(I wait and try to get this increasingly irate customer to calm down.)

Store Colleague: “I can’t find it out back. It’s being shipped separately. What can I do to help this customer?”

(I’m stunned. This is the first helpful person I’ve spoken to all day.)

Me: “Uh, could you go get them off the shelf, if you’ve got any left? And then replace it with the shipped one when it gets there?”

Store Colleague: “Sure! Oh, bother, there’s only one of the two. Never mind, just tell him to ask for [Store Colleague] and I’ll get it fixed.”

Me: “Thanks!” *to customer* “Hello, sir, sorry about the wait. It looks like it’s being sent separately, so we’ve managed to pull one game off the shelf for you. I know it’s not much…”

Customer: “Are you kidding?! You’ve just saved my a**! If the wife found out I left it this late to get the presents, she’d kill me! Thank you so much!”

(Some months later, I happen to be in the store in question whilst on holiday. I notice the name badge on the girl at the desk and remember her. I thanked her and bought her some flowers. Even though we work for the same company, she was the only member of store staff that Christmas Eve who actually helped me out, and restored my faith in humanity.)

We Wish Jew A Merry Christmas

| CT, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(It’s Christmas Eve and the store is open until midnight but closed the next day. I’m bagging groceries for a middle aged woman.)

Customer: “You poor boy. I feel so bad for you that you have to work on Christmas!”

Me: “Oh, it’s okay. I’m more of a Hanukkah kind of guy myself.”

Customer: *gasps* “You mean you’re a Jew?! Oh, dear. Well, then I hope you have fun burning in Hell.”

(She then spits at me, landing a shot on my tie. Everyone is frozen in horror and completely speechless.)

Cashier: “What the h*** is wrong with you, lady?!”

(The manager hears the cashier yell and walks over.)

Manager: “What’s going on here??”

Customer: “I can’t believe you’d let this moneychanger cheapen our Lord and Savior by flaunting himself in public and earning money on the day we mourn Christ’s crucifixion by HIS godforsaken people!”

Manager: “Ma’am, this young man volunteered to work a double shift tonight so that our other employees could be at home with their families for Christmas. So did many of our Jewish employees. Furthermore, nothing can excuse your behavior so I have to ask that you leave the store immediately.”

Customer: “I most certainly WILL NOT. I have a right to be here as an American and a Christian.”

Manager: “Neither of those things have anything to do with you being ejected from a private establishment. You have only yourself and your rude and disgusting behavior to blame for that. Come along now.”

Customer: *shrugs off his hand and steps back* “That’s just despicable! They’re abominations and should be wiped off the earth!”

Customer #2: *from behind her* “Well that’s the most UN-Christian thing I’ve ever heard.”

Customer: “Who asked your opinion?!”

(She turns around to see the speaker is the pastor from the local church, who has been standing in line at the next register. She gasps and puts her hand over her mouth.)

Pastor: “No one, [Customer], but you’ve asked for my advice on so many other occasions. So I’d advise you now to apologize to this young man who is toiling especially hard today for the benefit of your fellow congregants, and who has shown remarkable restraint and tolerance, and then I advise you to leave as they’ve asked. I also expect to see you at services tomorrow in the very front row, because you obviously haven’t heard the Lord’s teachings very well.”

Me: “Here are your groceries, ma’am, and also: I’m pretty sure you mourn the crucifixion on EASTER and celebrate the NATIVITY on Christmas. Have a nice day.”

A Poor Reason To Hate Christmas

| Foley, AL, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

Customer: “God, I can’t believe you have Halloween and Christmas out already! It’s only late September! Surely, people aren’t buying for those already, are they?”

Me: “Oh, you’d be surprised, ma’am.”

Customer: “Well, it’s ridiculous. I don’t know why they do.”

Me: “Well, it’s actually a good idea. See, decorating for Halloween and Christmas can be expensive. If we get the stuff out early, people who don’t have money to buy all that at once can buy a little at a time, and by Christmas, they’ll have a good amount of stuff.”

Customer: “Well, if they have to do that, then poor people shouldn’t bother celebrating Christmas!”

Maybe Santa Can Give Him A Lift

| IL, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(It is two weeks before Christmas:)

Me: “So, here is what we found. The cause of the issue with your car is a bad [component]. The price with parts and labor is [price], and we just happen to have one in stock. We can get it fixed for you today.”

Customer: “That’s way too expensive. I can’t afford that right now.”

Me: “I understand. Just don’t take the car out of town until you can get it fixed. There is a good chance it may strand you.”

(Fast forward to December 24th, 12:45 pm. We close at 1:00 for Christmas. This has been posted on every door and window in the place for a month. A car pulls up to the door, and the driver lays on the horn. I open the door and the driver from two weeks ago gets out of the car… along with his wife and three children. The car has a large car-top carrier on top of it.)

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “I need my car fixed right now.”

Me: “Okay, well, we close in 15 minutes.”

Customer: “We are going out of town right now and I need the car fixed.”

Me: “Well, let me see what I can do.” *I hear the audible groan come from the mechanics who are ready to leave* “Have a seat in the waiting room.”

(20 minutes later…)

Me: “Well, I am sorry, but we won’t be able to fix the car today.”

Customer’s Wife: “What?! We are leaving for a 300 mile trip right now! Why can’t you fix our car?!”

Me: “We don’t have the part in stock right now.”

Customer: “But you told me you had it!”

Me: “Yes, I did… two weeks ago. We don’t have it anymore because we sold it.”

Customer: “So you are telling me you are going to ruin my family’s Christmas?”

Customer’s Wife: *to Customer* “Wait… you knew about this TWO WEEKS AGO?!”

Me: “I am sorry to deliver the bad news, but we don’t have the part in stock right now.”

Customer’s Wife: “You mean to tell me you told him this needed to be fixed two weeks ago?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Customer: “How long will it take you to get the part?”

Me: “Well, seeing as how tomorrow is Christmas and we are closed, it would be sometime next week before we could have it.”

Customer: “You mean to tell me you can’t get it tomorrow?”

Me: “No. As I said, we are closed. In fact, we closed five minutes ago.”

Customer: “This is bull-s***! I want to see your boss RIGHT NOW!”

Me: “Since he is currently in Florida with his family for the holidays, I’m afraid that won’t be possible.”

Customer: “So you are just going to completely ruin our Christmas?!” *points towards his children*

Me: “Sir, I cannot fix your car if I don’t have the part to fix it.”

Customer’s Wife: “You should have every part for any car you work on in stock.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m afraid it is just not possible to have every part for every year, make, and model of every car always in stock.”

Customer: *as he leans in and gets right in my face* “I will be calling customer service and telling them how poorly you treat your customers!

Customer’s Wife: *to Customer* “You know, if you had fixed it two weeks ago this wouldn’t be a problem!”

Customer: “I’ll never be back to this dealership! You have lost my business for life, you a**-hole!”

Me: “Okay, I think it is time for you to leave now.”

Customer: “I’ll leave when I’m god-d*** good and ready!”

(I realize three of my mechanics have been listening to the conversation. All are over six feet tall and menacing. Suddenly they are standing behind me with large wrenches in their hands staring burning holes in the customer.)

Customer: *to his wife* “Honey, I think maybe we had just better leave.”

Me: “I think that may be for the best. Have a Merry Christmas now!”

Christmas Is Closing In

| Sheffield, England, UK | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(I have just served a family with kids who, as they leave the shop, notice our selection of Christmas products. One of the kids picks up a bell and starts ringing it. This story takes place at around 7:00 pm.)

Kid: “Listen, everyone! The store is now closing!”

(He then puts the bell back and rushes off out of the shop with his family. The assistant manager and myself look at each other in exasperation at ‘yet another kid playing with the bells,’ and share a quick chuckle about if anyone took it seriously. Lo and behold, the next person to approach the counter…)

Customer: “What time does [Shopping Centre] close tonight?”

Assistant Manager: “Ten o’clock.”

Customer: “So why are you closing early?”

(The assistant manager and I glance at each other again, trying not to laugh, and the customer quickly realises the truth.)

Customer: “Oh! It wasn’t one of you who said it?”

Assistant Manager: “No, it wasn’t.”

Me: “It was just some kid messing around.”

(She sounded quite relieved after finding out the truth, but we did note that for a few minutes after the kid’s ‘announcement’ the shop was noticeably emptier. We don’t think she was the only one who took him seriously.)

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