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Category: Holidays

Even during the holidays, customers don’t seem to take a break. With that many extra light-bulbs around you’d think a few extra would appear above their heads?

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Gonna Make You Valentine’s Pay

| WA, USA | Crazy Requests, Holidays, Popular

(I’m working at a retail store that gets enormously popular around and on Valentine’s Day. This is February 13th, about 45 minutes after close. My coworker is in the back; I’m straightening up out front.)

Customer: *banging on the door* “Hey, let me in!”

Me: “Sorry, I can’t. It’s 45 minutes after close, and we’ve zeroed out the registers. You’ll have to come back tomorrow.”

Customer: “What?! Are you kidding me! It’s f****** Valentine’s Day, you dumb b****! Let me in there!”

Me: “Absolutely not!”

(He continues berating me through the door and pounding on it for about five minutes while I ignore him. My coworker comes out from the back.)

Coworker: “Keep that up and I’ll call the cops, a**-hole!”

Customer: “F*** you!”

(He leaves.)

Me: “Let’s stay in here for a bit and make sure he leaves. I don’t know what he thought we were gonna do for him! If you need a gift that badly, maybe you should go shopping for it before 11:45 the day before you need it!”

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Independent From The Closing Times

| Daphne, AL, USA | Crazy Requests, Holidays

Me: “How may I direct your call?”

Customer: “Yeah, are you guys closing early for Independence Day?”

Me: “We are. We close at eight.”

Customer: “But I don’t know if I can get there in time, and I really need something!”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry, but we close at eight.”

Customer: “But you can stay open for me, right? I spend thousands of dollars there! It’s not like you’re all going to do anything after eight anyway!”

Me: “I’m very sorry, sir, but I still can’t let you in if you get here after the store is closed. No one can.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous. And you can’t make any exceptions?”

Me: “Not unless you’re Johnny Depp.”

Customer: “D****it!”

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His Valentine Is Going To Be Pissed

| UT, USA | Holidays, Hotels & Lodging, Popular

Me: “Hello, this is [Hotel]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, I need a room this weekend.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, we’re completely booked this weekend.”

Caller: *annoyed* “Why would you be sold out? That makes no sense.”

Me: “It’s a holiday weekend?”

Caller: “You can’t be serious! Nobody cares about President’s Day!”

Me: “Valentine’s Day as well?”

Caller: “OH, S***, I FORGOT!” *click*

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The Holidays Just Flasher By

| CT, USA | Holidays

(For Halloween, the grocery store I work at allows employees to come to work in a costume. On a tight budget, I had dressed like a 1930’s reporter, complete with the notepad in the fedora and a trench coat that went down to my ankles. (It should be noted I am a 6’3″ male.) A middle aged woman comes to my register, a concerned expression on her face.)

Me: “Happy Halloween, miss. May I see your rewards card?”

Customer: *serious tone* “Are you dressed as a flasher?”

(I’ve had customers ask if I’m everything from a private eye to a crooked lawyer.)

Me: *the trench coat is unbuttoned, with my shirt and pants visible on the middle of my chest* “Miss… if I were dressed as a flasher, the jacket would be closed.”

Customer: “Oh…”

(She went along the rest of the transaction seeming rather disappointed in my reply.)

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It’s Been A Hard Year

| USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Holidays

(The customer approaches the register, puts out an open bag of licorice, and a receipt.)

Customer: “I bought it for Easter and it was hard as a rock.”

(The receipt is dated for March the year before.)

Me: “Ma’am, it’s over 30 days. I can’t return this.”

Customer: *yelling* “But I bought it for Easter!”

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