Category: Holidays

Even during the holidays, customers don’t seem to take a break. With that many extra light-bulbs around you’d think a few extra would appear above their heads?


You Are The Reason We Need A Holiday

| Oslo, Norway | Holidays, Transportation

(I’m the owner of a small auto garage. In Norway it is common for most people to have their summer holiday in July. It’s also common that most businesses close down for the time, and so do we. I get a phone call on the 29th of June, two days before the summer holiday season.)

Me: “Hello, this is [Company]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I’m a customer at [Competing Garage] but they are closing for summer holiday on Friday and can not help me. Can you?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we are also closing on Friday and have more than enough to do serving our own customers.”

Customer: “Okay, do you know anyone that can help me?”

Me: “I’m sorry, my best advice is that you go to Yellow Pages –” *business register* “– and call around to see if anyone can help you.”

(The customer totally exploded and yelled at me.)

Customer: “Why the h*** is it so difficult to get some help with my car? It’s not a f****** human right to have holiday in July!”

Me: “What’s the rush? Why do you have to have your car serviced now?

Customer: “We are going on holiday this Friday!”


Customers Like This Is Why You Need A Holiday

| Germany | Crazy Requests, Holidays, Hotels & Lodging

(Every year, we close the hotel for our annual holiday for 4-5 weeks mid-November to mid-December. This is widely published everywhere. We have a promotion with a well-known tour operator who issues vouchers for a menu for two. We get very little money for these vouchers, but it is good publicity and people have to book in advance for a date that suits both parties.)

Caller: “I have a voucher from [Tour Company], and I would like to book a table for [date].”

Me: “Sorry, that date is during our annual holiday. The hotel is closed at that time.”

Caller: “But I so wanted to come and eat at your restaurant.”

Me: “Sorry, we are closed at that time of year; can I offer you a booking for another date?”

Caller:“No, I want that date. Why is that not possible?”

Me: “The hotel is dark and cold, there are no supplies, the cold storage and everything is switched off, and the staff is on holiday.”

Caller: “Well, can’t you come back from holiday and open the restaurant for me?”

Me: “Sorry, but it is just logistically not possible.”

Caller:“That is lousy customer service. I demand you open your restaurant for me on that date I want.”

Me: “You expect me to fly back from Turkey on day eight of my two-week sightseeing tour, to reopen the hotel especially so you can have dinner with your voucher?”

Caller: “Yes! Now, that was not so hard, was it?”


Fire Doesn’t Work

| Fort Worth, TX, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Holidays

(It is the 4th of July and we close at 10 pm. A regular couple has been sitting in the lobby eating for 30 minutes after close. All the employees have been listening to the fireworks explode right over our heads, as the show is just down the block.)

Customers: *gets up to leave, sees a firework* “Oh, is that what those sounds are?”

Me: “…”


Gonna Make You Valentine’s Pay

| WA, USA | Crazy Requests, Holidays, Popular

(I’m working at a retail store that gets enormously popular around and on Valentine’s Day. This is February 13th, about 45 minutes after close. My coworker is in the back; I’m straightening up out front.)

Customer: *banging on the door* “Hey, let me in!”

Me: “Sorry, I can’t. It’s 45 minutes after close, and we’ve zeroed out the registers. You’ll have to come back tomorrow.”

Customer: “What?! Are you kidding me! It’s f****** Valentine’s Day, you dumb b****! Let me in there!”

Me: “Absolutely not!”

(He continues berating me through the door and pounding on it for about five minutes while I ignore him. My coworker comes out from the back.)

Coworker: “Keep that up and I’ll call the cops, a**-hole!”

Customer: “F*** you!”

(He leaves.)

Me: “Let’s stay in here for a bit and make sure he leaves. I don’t know what he thought we were gonna do for him! If you need a gift that badly, maybe you should go shopping for it before 11:45 the day before you need it!”


Independent From The Closing Times

| Daphne, AL, USA | Crazy Requests, Holidays

Me: “How may I direct your call?”

Customer: “Yeah, are you guys closing early for Independence Day?”

Me: “We are. We close at eight.”

Customer: “But I don’t know if I can get there in time, and I really need something!”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry, but we close at eight.”

Customer: “But you can stay open for me, right? I spend thousands of dollars there! It’s not like you’re all going to do anything after eight anyway!”

Me: “I’m very sorry, sir, but I still can’t let you in if you get here after the store is closed. No one can.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous. And you can’t make any exceptions?”

Me: “Not unless you’re Johnny Depp.”

Customer: “D****it!”

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