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Category: Holidays

Even during the holidays, customers don’t seem to take a break. With that many extra light-bulbs around you’d think a few extra would appear above their heads?

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I’ve Come As The Mommy

| Lakewood, OH, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Family & Kids, Holidays

(I go into a burrito restaurant on Halloween, where they are offering burritos for three dollars if you come in costume. I am not wearing one. When I get up to the register, the following exchange occurs:)

Cashier: “Aww, you aren’t wearing a costume today!”

Me: *looking down at my sweater and old jeans* “Yes, I am.”

Cashier: “What are you supposed to be?”

Me: “A mom with depression who hasn’t eaten anything in two days?”

Cashier: *with a knowing smile* “Your total is three dollars.”

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Black Friday Takes The Same Route Every Year

| OR, USA | Holidays, Technology

(I work at one of the largest retail chains in the US. It’s around 11 pm on Thanksgiving night, meaning it has already been Black Friday for five hours or so.)

Customer #1: *holding up a wireless router* “Hey, I thought this was the item I was looking for, but then I actually read the box. Do you mind if I just ditch it with you instead of wading through people to get it back to the shelf?”

Me: “No problem. Did you need help finding the item you were looking for?”

Customer #1: “Nope, I just didn’t look close enough. I was busy calculating the price. Kind of silly of me. Got caught up in the spirit of things.”

Customer #2: *suddenly attempting to wrench the router box from my hand* “I’ll take it! Is it on sale?! What is this thing, anyway?!”

Me: “…”

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Black Friday Roundup 2016

Holidays

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Tomorrow is Black Friday, the most dreaded day of the year for retail employees all over the USA. From all of us here at Not Always Right, we stand with you as you face the barrage of entitled line-jumpers, ungrateful customers and demanding requests, not to mention having to break up fights between those trying to claim the last TV.

To show you that you aren’t alone, we’ve rounded up 10 Black Friday themed stories from our archives for you. Good luck, and we’ll see you on the other side!

 

bf04Inaction Figures

(It is Black Friday. I’m shopping in the toy department of a store, taking a picture of an action figure that I plan on buying for a friend’s nephew. As I want to make sure the boy doesn’t have it already, I am sending the picture to my friend to check. I do not, nor have ever worked there.)

Woman #1: *talking loudly* “It’s so busy here today! Sure would be nice if I could figure out where the Avengers figures are!”

Woman #2: “Tell me about it; I can’t find anything!”

(I write them off as overly loud and ignore them while I wait for my friend to text me back.)

Woman #1: “You know, where I work we’re not allowed to even look at our cellphones, let alone talk on one.”

Woman #2: “You’d get fired at my job for using my phone.”

Woman #1: “It’s amazing the things people think they can do on the job these days. It’s ridiculous!”

Woman #2: “I know! They think they can pretend like they’re home and get paid for it.”

(They carry on like this while I wait. Finally, I get a reply text from my friend, grab the toy and walk off. About a minute later I look down, realize I am wearing a red fleece which the same shade as the staff uniforms, and suddenly everything clicks. They were passive-aggressively trying to get my attention for the better part of five minutes. By the way, if they had turned around they would have found what they were looking for!)

 


bf05Overlord PX53A-Z Is Not Pleased

(A woman gets frustrated after I switch out for a co-worker to go on break on Black Friday)

Woman Customer: “Ugh! That is so frustrating! Why didn’t she wait to leave until I was finished?”

Me: “Ma’am, she’s been here since 3:45 this morning, and she needed a break. Plus, we’re not robots.”

Woman Customer: “Good. I hate robots.”

 

 

 

bf06Cooking Up A Storm

(A confused woman and her child, about nine years old, approaches the counter.)

Customer: “Whole lot of people here today, isn’t there? Never seen it so busy.”

Me: “We get quite a crowd for Black Friday sale, yeah.”

Customer: *confused* “Black Friday?”

Me: “Retail nickname for the day after Thanksgiving.”

Customer: “Oh, I know, but that’s today? Yesterday was Thanksgiving?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Customer: *looks down at her daughter* “Why didn’t you tell me it was Thanksgiving? Your grandmother is going to have my hide for missing dinner!”

(The sweet looking little kid looks back and smiles.)

Daughter: “Well, nana’s cooking sucks anyway.”

 


bf07Because Everything On The Internets Is Private

(On Black Friday…when EVERYTHING is on sale.)

Customer: “Excuse me, sir?”

Me: “Hey, can I help you find something?”

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to know what’s on sale today.”

Me: “Well, it depends on what system. You see, the DS only has three games on sale, while the XBOX has about 10. Not to mention, almost every console is running some sort of deal.”

Customer: “No, I meant the secret sales.”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Customer: “The stuff in the catalog.”

Me: “Oh, that’s all posted.”

Customer, suddenly angry: “It better not be!”

Me: “Why not?”

Customer: “Because I looked online for those sales.”

Me: “What’s your point?”

Customer: “Because I wouldn’t have done that if I’d known it was public!”

Me: “The point of a sale is to make it public.”

Customer: “GET ME YOUR MANAGER YOU A**HOLE!”

 

bf08In Line And Out Of Line, Part 2

(I’m standing in line at a Black Friday sale, waiting to check out my purchases. We’ve been standing about 45 minutes as the lines are very, VERY long. There is a man all by himself, with no cart and no purchases, standing two customers in front of me. All of a sudden his wife pulls two carts over, with their daughter pushing another one. All three carts are filled completely. They push through the line and get in with him. One of the customers in the line speaks up.)

Customer #1: “Hey! You can’t just cut in line like that. We’ve been waiting an hour. Get to the back!”

Cutting Customer: “F*** you! It’s not my fault you don’t know how to shop. Mind your own f****** business!”

Me: “Excuse me. Would you mind watching your language? I don’t want my son to hear that.”

Cutting Customer: “You can kiss my a**, b****! That little p**** is going to learn it one way or the other. He’s an ugly little SOB with that hair cut, anyway!”

My Son: “I’m growing my hair to donate to kids with cancer, like my best friend!”

(The cutting customer’s daughter decides to speak up.)

Cutting Customer’s Daughter: “Your little f** friend should just die. Why do they give them treatments for that s*** anyway? I hope he dies, you little a**-wipe.”

(My four-year-old son starts crying, asking me if his friend is going to die. I try to calm him down. Meanwhile, my friend gets the manager of the store.)

Manager: “Ma’am, this woman just told me what you said to her son and that you cut in line. I’m going to ask you once to please move to the back of the line; otherwise, you’ll need to leave the store.”

Cutting Customer: “Now, you look here! You can’t make us move. We’re buying more than $1000 worth of stuff here! And that b**** and her snot nosed kid got what they deserved.”

(The manager gets on his walkie-talkie and has security escort them out. Upon the managers and several customers suggestions, we file verbal harassment charges on the customers who cut in. The manager made a donation for $500 to the charity that my son’s friend had out in my son’s name. We cut his hair three months later, donating 18 inches, which they made into a wig. His friend made a full recovery, by the way. They both donate their hair about every five years.)

 

bf09They Crossed A Line

(It is Black Friday. I am waiting with my friend in a queue that wraps all the way around the store. After 45 minutes, we are almost to the front. A nearby rack catches my eye, and since I’m not purchasing anything, I step out of line. My friend and the customer in front of her watch me hold a sweater up.)

Me: *to my friend* “Hey, do you think this sweater’s cute? It’s the last one!”

My Friend: “Definitely. I’ll hold your purse while you try it on!”

(I step away to remove my purse. Suddenly, the customer who’s been watching me dashes over, rips the sweater from my hands, and tries to duck right back into line!)

Customer: “Haha, sorry! Guess you weren’t fast enough!”

My Friend: “Are you kidding me? I’m not going to fight you for that sweater, but there’s no way you’re cutting back in front of me.”

Customer: “Whatever. I didn’t even leave the line.”

(A nearby employee, who has seen the entire exchange, speaks up before I can say another word.)

Employee: *to the customer* “Ma’am, I just saw you step out of line. You need to go to the back of the queue.”

Customer: “No way! I’ve been waiting forever! It’ll take me another hour to check out!”

Employee: “If it were up to me, I wouldn’t let you buy anything from us at all!”

(The customer stomps all the way to the back of the store.)

My Friend and I: *to the customer* “Haha, sorry! Guess you just weren’t quick enough!”

 

bf03In Line And Out Of Line, Part 7

(I’m working as a cashier on Black Friday. A man cuts to the front of the line with an armful of clothing.)

Me: “Uh, sir, you’ll have to go to the back of the line. I’m sorry.”

Rude Customer: “F*** that! No way I’m waiting that long! Just make it quick!”

Me: “No, sir. You just cut the line, and I won’t serve you.”

Rude Customer: “Oh, f*** you! Just do your job already! You’re only making this take longer!”

(At this point, the customer he cut in front of, a man in his early 20s, speaks up, quietly and calmly.)

Calm Customer: “Just go back and wait in line, man. Stop being a dick.”

Rude Customer: “F*** y-”

(The rude customer rounds on the calm one as he speaks, raising his hand in what may or may not have been an attempt at a backhand. Regardless, the calm customer catches his arm, twists it, and slams the rude customer’s face into the counter hard enough for it to make an audible thunk through the clothes. The entire time, the calm customer remains stone faced.)

Rude Customer: “Ow! A**-hole! Lemme go! You can’t do this!”

Calm Customer: “Texas law says I can use lethal force if I’m attacked.”

(He twists the man’s arm a little more, causing him to cry out.)

Calm Customer: “You don’t want that, do you?”

Rude Customer: “Ow! No! Just lemme go!”

Calm Customer: “Where are you going to go?”

Rude Customer: “Back of the line! Back of the line!”

Calm Customer: “And are you going to be patient? And polite?”

Rude Customer: “Yeah, man! Sure!”

Calm Customer: “Apologize to the nice young lady, now.”

Rude Customer: *starting to cry slightly* “I’m sorry! I’m sorrryyyyy!”

(The calm customer released the rude one, who almost looked like he was going to attack again. One look at the calm customer’s completely emotionless face seemed to make him think twice, though, and he grabbed his clothes and scampered back to the end of the line.)

 

bf10Acts Of Kindness Do Register

(I’m working as a cashier during the Black Friday sale. We’ve just had new registers installed a few months prior. It is extremely busy because of the sale. I’ve finished scanning everything for a customer.)

Me: “Okay, your total is $1458.97.”

Customer: “Okay, credit.”

(She scans her card, and my entire register crashes. My screen is totally black.)

Me: “Uh… I need to call a supervisor over. My register just crashed.”

(My supervisor comes over, and I explain the situation.)

Customer: “Oh, no! Did I break it?”

Supervisor: “No, it’s possible that all the transactions have just overloaded the system. I’ll take you to the service desk, and we’ll fix this.”

Customer: “Oh, okay.”

(She follows my supervisor. The other supervisors move the rest of my line to the service desk. I go outside to take my break, when another customer approaches me.)

Customer #2: “Were you the one whose register broke down?”

Me: “Yeah, that was me.”

Customer #2: “That must have been a bit nerve wracking.”

Me: “Yeah, but at least that lady was calm about it. It could have been a lot worse!”

Customer #2: “Are you guys allowed drinks while you’re working?”

Me: “Not normally, but they are allowing it tonight because of the sale. I should go back in and get back to work. Have a nice night.”

(I return, and my register is working properly. About an hour later, Customers #1 and #2 come back though my line. They set one of every drink we sell by the checkout lines on my counter.)

Customer #1: “Pick one.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer #1: *points to Customer #2* “My husband told me that he talked to you on your break. You were very calm, and didn’t have anything bad to say. So pick a drink; it’s on me!”

(One of my supervisors comes over and assures me it’s okay.)

Me: “Okay, thank you. I’ll take this one.”

(It turns out they were from the corporate office, and they gave my manager a great letter of commendation! I never volunteered for Black Friday after that though!)

 

bf01How To Re-Tire Bad Customers

(It’s Black Friday and I have a noon shift. I have been berated and belittled by most of the customers since most of the doorbusters have been sold out.)

Rude Customer: “WHY even advertise this if you don’t keep it in stock!? That’s stupid! If you run out you shouldn’t advertise it!”

(There are two younger customers behind them, a guy and a girl.)

Girl: “You know… sometimes I just wanna make people suffer ya know? Like mentally. Like I wanna slash the tires of some real ignorant a** so they can’t go on and abuse another cashier.”

Guy: “I have that hunting knife in my car still. Wanna do it once we’re out of here?”

Girl: “We could. I have one target it picked out.”

(The rude customer shuts up and pays quietly and quickly runs out the door. I eye up the couple not sure if I should report the threat or not. The girl grins at me.)

Girl: “Got her to shut up.”

Me: “Wait. You weren’t serious?”

Girl: “Please. I could never do that.”

Guy: “I could…”

 

bf02Before Black Friday Comes Brainless Thursday

(Our store is open on Thanksgiving, and I’m one of the unlucky few scheduled to work. This means I don’t get to go to the traditional feast. Nobody is happy, and the store is mostly dead. We have more or less the same exchange with the few customers who come in.)

Customer #1: “Dear, you shouldn’t be working on Thanksgiving! Do you get to see your family at all today?”

Me: “No, we close too late. But it’s not really that bad in the end.”

Customer #2: “That’s still awful. You girls should all be home eating and enjoying yourselves!”

Customer #1: “It’s shameful they make you come out and miss a holiday just for money and greed.”

Customer #2: “I know! Why in the world would anybody be open on Thanksgiving?”

(At this point I am bored, depressed, tired, as well as hungry.)

Me: “If people like you did not insist on shopping today, we wouldn’t be open. Everyone would be at home where they wish they were.”

(Surprisingly I was not fired, or even written up. The manager was just as annoyed at having to work as I was!)

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Thankful To Be Rid Of You

| Long Island, NY, USA | Holidays

(I’m working box office at a movie theater on Thanksgiving Day. My shift starts right around noon, and goes until around eleven at night, meaning I miss most of the holiday. I’m sad about this, as I’m a huge holiday person, but I’m trying to put on a cheery face for the customers. Two older women come up to my register, both smiling and still well-dressed from Thanksgiving dinner.)

Me: “Good afternoon! What can I do for you both today?”

Customer: “We’re just so excited to be here; we just had the best Thanksgiving dinner!”

Me: “That’s great!”

Customer: “Are you all excited to have dinner with your family?”

Me: *trying my best to keep my tone happy and light* “Well, unfortunately, I won’t be able to, but I’m looking forward to the leftovers; those are the best parts anyway!”

(Suddenly, both women lose their friendly manner and stare at me with heavy frowns, eyeing me as if I’ve just spit on an American flag.)

Customer: “You mean you aren’t having Thanksgiving dinner?”

Me: “Well, not at the same time as my family.”

Customer: “Well, why not? Don’t you like Thanksgiving?”

Me: “I love Thanksgiving, but my family always has dinner at two, and I’ve been at work since noon.”

Customer: “Don’t you have a Thanksgiving dinner to go later today?”

Me: *still trying to smile and ignore their frowns and angry tones* “Well, my boyfriend’s family does eat around six, but I’m working here until eleven, so I’m afraid I’ll miss that, too.”

Customer: “That’s unbelievable! You must not like Thanksgiving at all! How awful!”

Me: “I promise you, I do not dislike Thanksgiving. I simply have to work.”

Customer: “You just must hate Thanksgiving! I cannot imagine hating Thanksgiving!”

Me: “Again, I do not dislike Thanksgiving. We all have to work holidays here, that’s all.”

Customer: “But… why?”

Me: “…because people come to see–” *I don’t answer her for a moment, but it’s clear she sincerely doesn’t understand why, so I try to speak with the least accusing tone possible* “–movies on holidays, and someone has to sell them their tickets?”

Customer: *huffing and shaking her head* “I just cannot believe that someone could dislike Thanksgiving. Imagine, not eating with your family. We’ll take two tickets to [Movie], by the way.”

(I swipe her card and print their tickets, now trying not to cry; I was truly heartbroken to be working on one of my favorite days, but I had no choice.)

Me: “Happy Thanksgiving. Enjoy your movie.”

Customer: *shaking her head at her friend as they walk away* “Can you imagine, hating Thanksgiving that much?”

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Going Nuts For Candy

| Wilmington, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Holidays

(It is the first of November, during a huge clearance sale on leftover Halloween candy. I finish ringing up a customer’s items and ask if she has any coupons that she’d like to use. Much to my surprise, she presents two: one for candy… one for nuts.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but I can’t use this coupon. You haven’t bought any nuts.”

(She looks blankly at me for a moment.)

Customer: “There are nuts in the candy.”

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