Category: History

Customers who don’t remember history are not only doomed to repeat it, but in some of these stories, to completely rewrite it!

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Sick Of Bad Parenting

| Ireland | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Health & Body, History

(I occasionally help out in my mother’s salon at busy times like Christmas week. There is a bit of a lull one morning this year so I leave to run some errands just as a client arrives with her three young children. I missed the following occurring not even ten minutes later..)

Baby: *throws up*

Mom: *sympathetic* “Is she OK?”

Client: “She’s fine, just something she ate this morning.”

(Almost on cue, one of the older kids “projectile vomits” across the floor. The other one doesn’t look very well either.)

Mom: “I’m sorry, but you need to take them home. They’re all sick.”

Client: “But my hair…”

Stylist: “No, they’re sick and if we get sick, too, we can’t work. They have that stomach bug that’s going around and it’s really bad.”

Client: “But my husband won’t look after them. I need my hair done!”

Mom: “In Ireland, men mind children, too. If he lives here, he helps.”

(She reluctantly left. I came back to my mother bleaching everything the kids had touched or thrown up on, and thankfully none of us got sick. We were just so boggled about how anyone could take clearly sick kids out anywhere, let alone for something as silly as a hair appointment. The client even tried to get another appointment for the day after Christmas, when no salon will open…)

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Jurassic Park Doesn’t Live Up To Expectation

| China | History, Pets & Animals

(I work in a museum of paleontology at an information desk. The word in Chinese for paleontology literally means “ancient animals study,” so there should be no mistaking what it is. I am chatting with my coworker when a visitor starts looking around, very confused.)

Coworker: “Can I help you?”

Visitor: “Yeah, where are the living animals?”

Coworker: “Excuse me?”

Visitor: “Where are the living animals? These are all dead.”

Coworker: “Uh… at the zoo?”

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You’ve Been Benched

| MA, USA | History, Tourists/Travel

(I work at a historic site in Massachusetts, and we have strict no-touching rules. The customer had just purchased admission.)

Me: “All right, now, before you head in, just a reminder not to touch any of the furniture inside, as the pieces are several hundred years old.”

(The customer gives a noncommittal grunt before going into the site. Not five minutes later, I look inside and see him sitting on an 18th century bench, which I should add, has a rope across it to stop people from sitting on it.)

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry, but you can’t sit there.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “The furniture pieces here are historic, and we can’t have visitors sitting on them.”

Customer: “Well, if you don’t want people sitting on the furniture, you should inform them before they pay!”

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Should Have Been More Frank(lin)

| USA | Extra Stupid, History

(I work at a presidential home, and in our gift shop we have a fandex that lists all the presidents to date. As I was ringing up a customer, this happened.)

Woman: *looking at fandex* “George Washington wasn’t a president!”

Me: *struggles to keep a straight face as she argues about this with her companion and eventually comes to the conclusion that she meant Benjamin Franklin*

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Germaniac

, | FL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, History, Popular, Religion

(I’m slicing meat for a customer. I notice he’s wearing a shirt with a cartoon leprechaun flipping the middle finger and holding a half-empty glass of beer.)

Me: “Nice shirt.”

Customer: “Oh, this? Yeah, I’m Irish, so…”

Me: “I kinda figured.”

Customer: “What about you?”

Me: “Well, my ancestors were mostly German—”

(Suddenly the customer stomps his feet together, stands at attention, and does the Nazi salute.)

Customer: “SIEG HEIL! SIEG HEIL!”

Me: “—Jews. German Jews.”

Customer: “Oh.”

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