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Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

Think Before You Ink

| ACT, Australia | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

Me: “Hi! How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I’m looking for plain black drawing ink. I want the best quality you have here.”

Me: “Wonderful! We have [Good Brand] here, and we have it in plain black as well. These are the most popular inks we sell as they are of such good quality. Are you working on a project?”

Customer: “Oh, well, kind of. I am going to give myself a tattoo tonight! This should do the trick.”

(Shocked, and thankful to myself that I asked, I suddenly stop putting my thoughts together as to what to say next and just blurt out the first thing that falls out of my mouth out of feeling the urgency of the situation.)

Me: “Yes, it should do the trick if you WANT TO DIE! THIS IS NOT TATTOO INK, MA’AM. It will KILL you, like DEAD, if you use it in your skin! Please DON’T use this for tattoos! It’s for art and craft projects only!”

Customer: *taken aback and gasps* “Oh, my gosh! I had no idea! I just thought ink was ink! So glad you asked. You saved my life! Thank you!”

(After explaining to her where she could look into purchasing tattoo ink and recommending she also look into the best tattoo artists in town, as well as carefully putting into less-stressed words about why you don’t use drawing inks for tattoos, she leaves, white as a ghost but very thankful.)

Coworker: “And that just happened… Lucky you asked what the ink was for!”

He’s Not Exactly Professor X(Ray)

| UK | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

(An elderly man in a wheelchair comes into the clinic waiting room accompanied by his adult son. This clinic is held upstairs.)

Nurse: “Mr. [Man]?”

Man: “Yep.”

Nurse: “You’ll need an x-ray before you see [Consultant].”

Man: “I’m not having no x-ray. I’ve had enough x-rays!”

Nurse: “Well, [Consultant] has requested a new x-ray before he sees you today.”

Man: “No, I’m not having no x-ray.”

Nurse: “Did you want me to cancel your appointment today, then?”

Man: “No, I’m here. I want my appointment.”

Nurse: Well, [Consultant] can’t do anything unless you have a new x-ray.”

Man: “Fine! I’ll have the x-ray.”

Nurse: “Okay, then. If you’ll just take the lift to go downstairs to x-ray—”

Man: “Down? I’ve just come up in the lift! I’m not going down again! I’ve had enough of this: up in the lift, down in the lift. I don’t like lifts! I’m not going down in any lift. You can’t make me.”

Son: “I reckon you’ll be staying here all night, then, Dad. We’re on the second floor.”

Transcending Bigotry

| Yorkshire, England, UK | Awesome Workers, Health & Body, Top

(I am in a bank after losing my purse, looking visibly distressed, in the queue after dealing with a customer service agent that was no help.)

Bank Teller: “May I help you, sir?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I’m not a ‘sir.'”

Bank Teller: “Oh. Do you mind if… I… uh…”

Me: “Ask if I’m transgender?”

Bank Teller: “Yes.”

Me: “Yes, I am. I have just lost all my cards, and I can’t get replacements issued, because they’re saying I’m not who I say I am.”

Bank Teller: “That’s fine. Someone I’m close to faces similar issues to you. If you can just confirm some security details, I can get you some new cards and give you some money from your account.”

Me: “Brilliant, thank you.”

(After confirming my details:)

Bank Teller: “I have an idea; I could place a note on your account. It may not help, but next time you could mention that if they look in the customer notes that you are a transgender person. Here:” *shows me some text on the screen*

Me: “That’s perfect. Thank you.”

Bank Teller: “No worries. You shouldn’t be faced with more problems when you’re already having a bad day.”

(Thank you, anonymous bank teller. You restored my faith in humanity!)