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Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

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Someone Needs To Be The Voicebox Of Reason

| TN, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Health & Body

Customer: “I don’t appreciate the service here!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, why is that?”

Customer: “That little girl in the back window is very rude. She looked at my husband weird. He has a voicebox for his neck.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am.”

Customer: “Tell you what. Give us our food for free and we won’t sue you guys.”

Me: “…”

(We never got sued for it.)

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Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 13

| USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

(I am a bank teller, and currently about six months pregnant.)

Customer: “When are you due?”

Me: “First week of November.”

Customer: “Wow, you’ve got a ways to go! Just one baby in there?”

Me: “Yes, just one.”

Customer: “My coworker is due in four days, and you’re a lot bigger than her. She’s always complaining, but she’s so much smaller than you! I’m going to tell her about the poor girl at the bank!”

Me: *still smiling* “Have a nice day, ma’am!”

Related:
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 12
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 11
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 10

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But I’m Intolerant To Obnoxiousness

| Adelaide, SA, Australia | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I am on the phone discussing the lunch options provided for a training course the customer will be attending.)

Customer: “Will there be any gluten-free options available for lunch?”

Me: “Absolutely! You’ll be going to [Restaurant] and they have plenty of gluten-free options.”

Customer: “Are you sure? Because I cannot have any gluten at all; I’m extremely intolerant to it.”

Me: “I guarantee there will be gluten-free options available. My boss has Coeliac disease so she’s in the same boat, and I’m a vegetarian myself so I definitely understand the need for certain dietary requirements.”

Customer: *loud exaggerated sigh* “I’m so sick of people comparing gluten intolerance to vegetarianism. YOURS is a choice. MINE is not.”

Me: “Oh, umm I was just trying to assure you that I understand your requirements and I’ll make sure to let the restaurant know.”

Customer: “See that you do.”

(I was tempted to call the restaurant and ask them to sprinkle her meal with flour.)

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A Very Cold Comment

| IN, USA | Health & Body, Popular, Rude & Risque

(I have been working at a popular hardware store for about a year now. I’ve been loving it so far, especially when we have the garden center open. I always opt to be the cashier outside, since it’s usually much more lively out there and less stuffy than inside. In the winter, the garden associates have built a small shack around the register, which makes the cold bearable. With the start of a new year, and having already had some pleasantly warm days, the shack is taken down. However, just recently we’ve been hit by a cold snap. Even huddling next to my meager heater, I’m losing feeling in my fingers and toes, and constant wind gusts make it impossible to retain any sort of heat from the heater. Nevertheless, I’m doing all that I can to cheerfully help customers.)

Me: *teeth chattering* “Hi there! You guys set to check out?”

Husband: *with wife in tow* “Sure are; it’s freezing out here! I hope they’re paying you extra.”

Me: *laughing* “Oh, I wish, but I’m actually happy with being out here. Even if cold, the air is fresh, and I don’t get to hear the same songs over and over.”

Husband: “Ha ha! Well, they should pay you more anyway. You have to be half frozen by now!”

(Before I can jokingly interject, the wife speaks up.)

Wife: “Oh, I’m sure she’s fine. She’s young, she’s got a big coat on, her own heater, plus she’s not small like our daughter. More insulated.”

(The husband’s mouth snaps shut. My joke vanishes, and I’m not sure what to say. I am just slightly overweight, and have long struggled with my weight, but I am by no means fat. I do have wide shoulders, being an active swimmer, which gives me an odd body shape, so I figure that’s why she made such an assumption. I usually brush off these comments, but nevertheless this one certainly dampened my spirit. I continue ringing them out in meek silence, while the wife keeps going, unaware that she is basically insulting me.)

Wife: “In the arctic, those seals get by just fine because of blubber. The cold can’t get to them. It’s a great insulator. They don’t even need a heater.”

(I finish ringing up their items, and the husband proceeds to pay. He mouths ‘I’m so sorry,’ and I smile meekly.)

Me: *handing him the receipt* “H-have a good one.”

Husband: “You, too… Sorry. Try to stay warm.”

Wife: “Oh, she’ll be f—”

(The husband grabbed her around the shoulders and started marching away.)

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You’re His Number One Choice

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

(I am a vendor. As I work in my client retail stores, I find myself constantly explaining I am not a store employee and can’t ring people up, get their orders for them, etc. In this particular store, my work area is near the layaway desk and the restrooms. I am approached by an older man while I am filling helium balloons for my client.)

Customer: “Can you help me?”

Me: “I don’t work for [Store], sir. Please push that button to page for help.”

Customer: “Why won’t you help me?”

Me: “I work for the balloon company. Please push the button.”

Customer: “I NEED SOMEONE TO HELP ME PEE!”

Me: “I beg your pardon?”

Customer: “I need someone to watch my f****** cart while I use the men’s room!”

Me: *relieved* “Sure. Park it right over there. Nobody will bother it.”

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