Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.


An Un-fee-sable Excuse

| MN, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Money, Popular

(I work in the billing department of a large mental health clinic with multiple locations. Many clients call in to dispute missed appointment fees that accrue when a client no calls and/or no shows. The mother of a client calls:)

Me: “[Clinic] Billing Dept. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Mom: “I need you to remove the fee on my son’s account. I was really confused about the appointment.”

Me: “Okay, let’s look into it. So, what was confusing about the appointment?”

Mom: “Well, I didn’t think he had to go.”

Me: “Why is that?”

Mom: “Well, nothing has changed since the last appointment. The meds aren’t doing anything.”

Me: “He was still scheduled for an appointment, and the doctor would want to know if there weren’t any changes, so she could adjust the medications or try a different course of action.”

Mom: *suddenly sounding angry* “But you didn’t even send his medications to the pharmacy!”

Me: “Wait, so he hasn’t been taking his medication since three months ago?!”

Mom: “NO! Your stupid doctor didn’t send over the prescription!”

Me: “Okay. I have to ask: did you call us to see if we could re-send the prescription?”

Mom: “Well, no.”

Me: “Let me make sure I’m understanding this correctly. You came in for the appointment, and your son was prescribed [Medication]. You went to the pharmacy, and they didn’t have the prescription. You didn’t call us to notify the doctor that he would be without meds. Your son hasn’t been on his meds now for three months. You didn’t think he needed to be seen because his behavior hasn’t changed. And you want me to remove the fee even though you knew that he had an appointment at that day and time?”

Mom: “Yes, exactly!” *calmer now that I understand*

Me: “Well. I’ll see what I can do. Meanwhile, I’m going to notify his doctor about the situation, and I want you to schedule an appointment as soon as possible.”

(The call ended there. I looked, and we HAD sent the prescription, twice, both times confirmed by the pharmacy. At this point, I wasn’t even upset that she wanted the fee removed even though she knew about the appointment. I was angry that she had such blatant disregard for her eight-year-old’s health!)


Nil By Brain

| AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Popular

(I am waiting to get a cat scan and MRI at the hospital when I overhear the following:)

Nurse: “Did you get the instructions to prepare for the tests?”

Patient: “Yes.”

Nurse: “Did you see where it said that you can’t eat or drink before testing?”

Patient: “Yes.”

Nurse: “Have you eaten or drank anything today?”

Patient: “No, I haven’t.”

(The nurse is called away and the man sits facing a sign that says if you have eaten anything your test may need to be rescheduled. A new nurse approaches.)

Nurse #2: “Did you eat breakfast today?”

Patient: “No.”

Nurse #2: “Did you drink anything?”

Patient: “No.”

Nurse #2: “Did you take any medicine?”

Patient: “No.”

Nurse #2: “Not even ibuprofen?”

Patient: “No.”

Nurse #2: “So you haven’t eaten or drank anything today?”

Patient: “No.”

Nurse #2: “Not even water?”

Patient: “No.”

Nurse #2: “And you haven’t taken any medicine?”

Patient: “No, I haven’t.”

Nurse #2: “Okay.” *turns to leave*

Patient: “But I drank some milk when I took my medicine. And then I ate a plate of eggs.”


Rabid Laughter

| Madison, WI, USA | Health & Body, Pets & Animals, Popular

(Our dentist’s last name sounds exactly like our veterinarian’s first name. There is a slight difference in spelling, but they sound identical: Name and Nayme. I am at work, multi-tasking, when my spouse emails to remind me to make an appointment with Dr. Name, the vet, for our cat’s rabies shot. In the middle of six different tasks with several deadlines looming, I grab the Rolodex, flipped to the “N” section, and dial the number.)

Receptionist: “Dr. Nayme’s office, how can I help you?”

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name] and I need an appointment to bring Colonel Snuggledorf in for his rabies shot.”

Receptionist: “I am very sorry, but Dr. Nayme doesn’t administer rabies shots. And I do not believe we have a patient by the name of Colonel Snuggledorf.”

(I suspect the poor woman dislocated a rib laughing after she hung up. And my dentist makes a point of telling me every time I visit that he still doesn’t give rabies shots!)


Pray It’s Just Dry Humor

| IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Health & Body

(My brother is mopping the women’s restroom when a customer comes in.)

Brother: “Careful. It might be wet.”

Customer: *completely serious* “Good. My hip’s been bothering me and I don’t have insurance, so if I slip and fall I can sue [Store].”

(She goes into the handicap stall. Meanwhile my brother waits outside so he can finish cleaning after she’s done. The customer eventually comes out.)

Customer: *disappointed* “The floor’s dry.”

Brother: “I’m… sorry?”


This Call Has Gone Through The Change

| Beverly Hills, CA, USA | Health & Body

Tenant: *via text* “My AC ISN’T WORKING! HELP ME, PLEASE!”

Me: “Let me contact the AC tech and see when he can come. It’s Friday at 4:30, so I’ll do my best.”

Tenant: *now calling* “You have to get him to come out today. This is unacceptable. I need him now. I’m going through menopause and am having hot flashes. I need AC. Can you tip him, give him some money?!”

Me: *silence*

Tenant: “Okay, that was probably TMI.”

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