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Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

The Lie-To-Yourself Diet

| MN, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

Me: *answering phone* “Thank you for calling [Pizza Place]. This is [My Name]. Can I interest you in two large pizzas with up to five toppings and a pop for only $22.99?”

Customer: “No, I don’t need that much. I’m on a diet.”

Me: “Okay. What can I get you tonight?”

Customer: “Can I get a large veggie pizza, but hold the mushrooms, black olives, green peppers, and onions, and add sausage, beef, bacon, Canadian bacon and pepperoni.”

Me: “Okay, that would just be a meats pizza with tomatoes.”

Customer: “No, I’m on a diet. I need a veggie pizza because of my diet. but hold the mushrooms, black olives, green peppers, and onions, and add sausage, beef, bacon, Canadian bacon and pepperoni.”

Me: “Okay, no problem. Your total will be $11 and we will have it ready in 15 minutes.”

(I rang up the order the way she wanted it but told my coworkers that it was just a meats pizza with tomatoes.)

Transcontinental Breakfast

| Cumberland County, PA, USA | Food & Drink, Health & Body, Hotels & Lodging, Rude & Risque

(I work the front desk night shift at our hotel, and one of my duties is to set up breakfast and make sure it is fully stocked until I clock out in the morning. I’m a young transgender woman and I’ve only informed the general manager of that fact. As far as I know neither my coworkers nor any guests can tell. I am restocking the sausage patties when this happens.)

Guest: “Oh, so you’re the one who cooks up all the breakfast, eh?”

Me: *smiles* “Yup, that’s me!”

(I quickly break away from the encounter to wrap up my shift. Soon enough my coworker is just about ready to let me go for the day, when the same guest from before passes by, spots me, and smiles.)

Guest: “There’s the sausage queen!”

Me: *speechless*

Coworker: *chuckles* “Sorry, the 12-year-old in me just had to laugh at that!”

Me: “They may never know just how funny that truly was.”

Please Keep Both Hands On The Wheel(chair)

| Dallas, TX, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Health & Body, Top, Transportation

(I’ve been in a wheelchair for several years and am still pretty independent. Unfortunately there are times the chair can be a real pain. I broke down on the interstate on my daily commute and do not have a cell phone. As a result I am wheeling myself down the I-35 shoulder headed to the closest gas station when a DPS unit pulls up behind me. I was very tired since the shoulder of an interstate is not the easiest surface for me to go long distances. When I see the cop something just reminds me of a routine traffic stop, which I find hilarious.)

Me: “Don’t bother asking for my license or proof of insurance for my chair, as I have neither.”

(The cop looked confused for a second, and then burst out laughing.)