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Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

Closing Time Is A Vicious Cycle Accident

| Cedar Rapids, IA, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

(I work at a popular home-improvement store. At two minutes to closing time a man comes dashing through the door. This happens regularly, so I think nothing of it.)

Me: *joking* “Better run!”

Customer: *with a huge grin on his face* “Yeah, I crashed my bike getting here!”

(As he runs past me, I see that he’s bleeding in several places on his side and arm, but I have no time to say anything before he’s off down an aisle. A couple minutes later, he comes back with a large box of nails cradled in the crook of his arm.)

Me: “Woah, hold on. Are you okay? Let me get you some bandages—”

Customer: *still grinning* “Nah, I’m fine. I think I dislocated my shoulder, though. Does it look bad?”

(I look, and sure enough, the joint is popped out of its socket. He heads over to the checkout counter, grinning the whole time.)

Me: “It looks terrible! Oh, my god. You need medical attention. Do you want me to call you an ambulance?”

Customer: “Nope, don’t call an ambulance.”

Me: “Are you sure? That looks like it really hurts!”

Customer: *cheerfully* “It really hurts!”

Me: “You’re bleeding and your shoulder is dislocated! You need to go to a doctor or something at least!”

Customer: “Yeah, or something. See ya!”

(He grabbed his stuff and dashed out the door. It was the end of my shift, so my supervisor made me go clock out in spite of my begging her to let me stay to make sure he was all right. When I got back, he was gone. I can only hope the crazy dude got himself to a hospital.)

Only One Left

| Sweden | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

(I am an optometrist, selling glasses and contact lenses. A customer calls me up to ask about some contact lenses I sent to him in the mail.)

Customer: “Hi, I’m just calling to ask you which of the lenses is for which eye!”

Me: “I’m sorry! I am usually so careful about these things. I can’t believe I forgot to mark them.”

Customer: “Yeah, it says ‘right’ on one of the boxes, but what about the other one?”

Me: “Uh, then the other one would be for your left eye.”

Customer: “Great, thanks!” *hangs up*

A Labor-Intensive Industry

| IN, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I am very obviously nine-months pregnant and begin having contractions in my car as I show up for an afternoon shift as a delivery driver. I calmly waddle inside to let my manager know what’s going on and wait for my ride to the hospital. When my manager sees me coming towards the building clutching my stomach and grimacing, he figures it out and runs back into the office. As I get inside and approach the service counter, another contraction hits and I double over leaning on the counter huffing and puffing, trying not to cry out in pain. A customer has walked in directly behind me.)

Customer: “What terrible service! You didn’t even bother to hold the door for me!”

Me: Uh… sorry?”

Customer: “D*** right, you are! Now quit being lazy and get back there and take my order!”

Me: “I’m sorry. I can’t do that. I’m not even clocked in. And besides—”

Customer:Maybe if you weren’t OBESE AND LAZY you could have made it in here sooner and clocked in already. Now I DEMAND service!”

Me: “I’m sorry for the delay, ma’am. But I do have to ask you to quit speaking to me like that. I’m not obese or lazy—”

Customer: “Of course you are! Look at you! You’re huge. And you got winded just walking in from your car.”

(My manager comes out of the office and walks up to the counter, having heard this whole exchange.)

Manager: “I’m so sorry about the wait. I am the manager. I was busy calling someone to cover her shift because she’s IN LABOR and must go to the hospital. [My Name], go sit in the office and call your doctor and your ride.”

(As I walk around the counter, my water breaks leaving a small wet spot on the floor.)

Customer: *shrieks* “That’s unsanitary! Aren’t you going to make her clean it up?! That’s disgusting. I REFUSE to pay for any food prepared in your contaminated kitchen!”

Manager: “Okay. Good-bye. Have a nice day!” *smiles*

Customer: “WHERE’S MY FOOD?!”

Manager: “You just said you didn’t want food from our ‘contaminated’ kitchen…”

Customer: “But… I… FINE! You better believe I’m calling your corporate office and filing a formal complaint!” *storms out, knocking over large promotional signs on her way*

(I made it to the hospital with plenty of time to spare. Just under 12 hours later, my son was born. After 6 weeks of maternity leave, I went back to delivering. Many of my regulars remembered me and wanted updates and pictures of the baby. As far as we know, the customer never actually did call corporate.)