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Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

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Nil By Brain

| AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Popular

(I am waiting to get a cat scan and MRI at the hospital when I overhear the following:)

Nurse: “Did you get the instructions to prepare for the tests?”

Patient: “Yes.”

Nurse: “Did you see where it said that you can’t eat or drink before testing?”

Patient: “Yes.”

Nurse: “Have you eaten or drank anything today?”

Patient: “No, I haven’t.”

(The nurse is called away and the man sits facing a sign that says if you have eaten anything your test may need to be rescheduled. A new nurse approaches.)

Nurse #2: “Did you eat breakfast today?”

Patient: “No.”

Nurse #2: “Did you drink anything?”

Patient: “No.”

Nurse #2: “Did you take any medicine?”

Patient: “No.”

Nurse #2: “Not even ibuprofen?”

Patient: “No.”

Nurse #2: “So you haven’t eaten or drank anything today?”

Patient: “No.”

Nurse #2: “Not even water?”

Patient: “No.”

Nurse #2: “And you haven’t taken any medicine?”

Patient: “No, I haven’t.”

Nurse #2: “Okay.” *turns to leave*

Patient: “But I drank some milk when I took my medicine. And then I ate a plate of eggs.”

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Rabid Laughter

| Madison, WI, USA | Health & Body, Pets & Animals, Popular

(Our dentist’s last name sounds exactly like our veterinarian’s first name. There is a slight difference in spelling, but they sound identical: Name and Nayme. I am at work, multi-tasking, when my spouse emails to remind me to make an appointment with Dr. Name, the vet, for our cat’s rabies shot. In the middle of six different tasks with several deadlines looming, I grab the Rolodex, flipped to the “N” section, and dial the number.)

Receptionist: “Dr. Nayme’s office, how can I help you?”

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name] and I need an appointment to bring Colonel Snuggledorf in for his rabies shot.”

Receptionist: “I am very sorry, but Dr. Nayme doesn’t administer rabies shots. And I do not believe we have a patient by the name of Colonel Snuggledorf.”

(I suspect the poor woman dislocated a rib laughing after she hung up. And my dentist makes a point of telling me every time I visit that he still doesn’t give rabies shots!)

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Pray It’s Just Dry Humor

| IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Health & Body

(My brother is mopping the women’s restroom when a customer comes in.)

Brother: “Careful. It might be wet.”

Customer: *completely serious* “Good. My hip’s been bothering me and I don’t have insurance, so if I slip and fall I can sue [Store].”

(She goes into the handicap stall. Meanwhile my brother waits outside so he can finish cleaning after she’s done. The customer eventually comes out.)

Customer: *disappointed* “The floor’s dry.”

Brother: “I’m… sorry?”

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This Call Has Gone Through The Change

| Beverly Hills, CA, USA | Health & Body

Tenant: *via text* “My AC ISN’T WORKING! HELP ME, PLEASE!”

Me: “Let me contact the AC tech and see when he can come. It’s Friday at 4:30, so I’ll do my best.”

Tenant: *now calling* “You have to get him to come out today. This is unacceptable. I need him now. I’m going through menopause and am having hot flashes. I need AC. Can you tip him, give him some money?!”

Me: *silence*

Tenant: “Okay, that was probably TMI.”

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A Duty Of Carelessness

| GA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Popular

(While on my lunch break I go to grab a bite to eat at the deli, and have clearly removed the top of my work uniform as the lady in front of me in line is being told about a sale on tea. My father is a well respected surgeon at the hospital, and we know all higher-ups within the hospital.)

Customer: “Oh! Half price for tea? I’d like me some of that!” *she snaps her fingers as she points to me* “You, boy, get that tea for me.”

Me: “Excuse me, but I am on break and am in line to get food, just like you are.”

Customer: *in a huff* “Fine! I work in the hospital and you better hope I don’t see you around there!”

Me: “Oh, you work at [Hospital]?”

Customer: “Yeah, and you best make sure I’m not gonna take care of you!”

Me: “Well, hopefully [List of Doctors] are okay with that.”

Customer: “Wait, who are you?!”

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